Shanghai Trip

It's officially called a study trip, but not many people actually had such a positive attitude towards solving all the math problems. The only work we had was to translate the question sheet and answer key into English so that the teachers can use them to teach in the future. Besides that, I got 2 Junior High Math Olympiad books1 Jap dictionary (this one own the crap out of all Eng-Jap dictionaries, XP to all suckers who uses Eng-Jap dictionaries)

1 Learn-to-draw-anime-charactersand 1 on 围棋, all of which anyone can hardly find in Singapore. I can't find anything else besides novels and novels and super-chim math taught beyond university in Singapore. In other words, Singapore bookstores really lack variety. However, I couldn't think of anything else to buy besides books, the games didn't really interest me, and I didn't have a chance to go to 电子城 where I could get some electronic devices and computer games, which I think all of us wanted to buy. Well, it doesn't really matter I suppose, I am going to 北京 soon, where I am more familiar with and have a lot more free time to go around and buy stuff, although there might not be many thing that interest me. I am really feeling tired of Singapore right now, because of so many things to care about when I come back, compared to studying Math in 上海. Next year is really coming in no time, and it would be time for hardcore mugging.

It's finally the holidays

It's good that I don't have to be emo anymore, enduring all the pains of scoring C6 for exams and not being shortlisted for stuff. For the time being, I can say that I am carefree, which is in my opinion the highest level which people can achieve in life. I am not saying that working hard is a bad thing, but we always have to remember what we are working for, and not because our ancestors say that we have to work hard. I am rather pleased with myself for cutting down on gaming time, and spending more time to improve on my linguistic skills which really takes time because there is a limit to how much we can remember each day. The only deadline which I have to meet is to improve on my tone quality by Wednesday so that Mononoke would sound better, as it is the only one in which tone quality is of higher priority. Leaving for 上海 then 北京 soon, and I am looking forward to these trips, so much more than going to USA like all my other schoolmates, probably because I am not much affected by westernization I suppose. Hoping to post some pictures soon.

No mood to study

I am messing with my Windows Live Writer right now, finding out how convenient this thing is. The only test which I have to study for is Bio on Thurs. I may be looking through the answer schemes for the IJ comprehension because there are some questions which I found it difficult to express what I am thinking, probably due to the lack of vocabulary. Well, I think part of the blame goes to my primary school teachers, for not teaching some of the commonly used expressions and the grammar associated with them. I do agree that I have mastered the basic grammar well, but too well, to the extent that not even the teachers would care about spotting those errors because there are simply too many scripts to mark and they have finish one script in like 2-3 min I suppose. Look, my class has 34 people. If Longang takes 5 min for one script, he won’t finish marking while his midnight oil last. 12 scripts takes an hour, 34 scripts takes 2 hours and 50min. 3 of such classes would take about one day of work. After adding comprehension would be enough to kill him. Hence, I really need some vocabulary to replace all the weird expressions that I have. Chinese test has a lame marking scheme, which perfectly explains why I shouldn’t care about studying. I have inferential skills that are much stronger than the teacher I suppose, and what seems obvious to me doesn’t seem obvious to the teachers. Math is a subject where I apply my knowledge for the higher paper. So the only one left is Bio. I do think that I can try Caleb’s technique of spamming twice the number of lines given and have a cross with every tick. A full mark is given anyway (although the concept is wrong), and I feel that the teachers should really give discredit to these kind of stuff. But since it’s required of an examination, I think I’ll just follow suit. There are 4 more topics left for me to revise, and I think I can go through one topic thoroughly each day until then.

I think I am rather screwed

It's been a week since exams started, and I feel really screwed, mainly because most of the papers are essay-based and I am not good at writing, in any language. Not saying that I couldn't do it, but I only found the key to writing descriptive essay 2 years ago, and got 21 marks for that. However, I couldn't get enough practice before we moved on to exposition. Well, it took me sometime to get used to it too, but what I mainly used in the past was assumed scenarios. It's is rather retarded to quote evidence for every bit of thing you write, and people end up faking statistics during the test. Well, other than that, I got a very fussy Chinese teacher this year, which picks every minor detail in the question regardless of whether it's compre or compo or ACE. I really don't see the point of writing so many meaningless sentences just to DESCRIBE the question again, like what The-SMTP-Thermal-Physics teacher asks us to do. Hence, I have decided to ignore all these requirements of tests since mid-year, to distinguish myself from "examinees". I am still somewhat at risk of not getting 2.0 for this year although I already have 4 A1s. Along with the A2s that I am getting, it is still somewhat difficult just to get a B3 for the subjects which I am really screwed at - English and IH. Good thing is that next week would be rather smooth as there are no essay-based exams anymore. I won't mind losing to people in my class anyway. The same thing happened in Sec 1, when many "examinees" got a better MSG than me, and I shouldn't care about losing another time, especially when this years MSG does bring about any benefits. Progress, has been my goal since the beginning of the year, and the difference would show in the future. Probably got affected by the people around me :). Well, good luck to you too for your exams.

No more exemptions for u guys

I am rather happy that I got exempted for 2 subjects. Max is 6 and many of my ex-classmates who got 5 exemptions last year drop to 4 or even 2 (I am niaoing CW of course). Serves those IH losers right! IH is another subject that is really damn pathetic. You have to write according to the teachers' expectations. In IHC, it is alright that the evaluation of sources have certain expectations because it is important to state clearly about what you are writing. However, plainly spamming facts in the essay is considered as explaining? Of course writing another line "Hence, we can see that A(noun) is B(adjective)" is really quite useless, but most adjectives co-exist, which brings in the importance of analogy in essays. It is impossible to say something is good or bad if we can't find something better or worse, but it is not easy to find analogies. There are certain things which I strongly believe is the right way to do things, which is learnt from all the model essays that could not answer the question which I am thinking about when I wrote the essay. How exactly can I say that A is B by just stating facts. Of course we all do have historical hindsight, but no one can determine what should and should not exist in any generation. Anyway, I am glad that my none of my friends are gonna be staying at home on any day during the EOYs due to the higher papers, and when I can finally throw away my humanities, it would be a more advantageous and easy life for me.

So What?

It been so long that only until this year which I have asked the question so what. I have been very competitive with my personality throughout the years. However, recently when thing don't turn my way despite a significant amount of hard work, the question of "so what?" came in. I do agree that it is totally pointless to excel in school but unable to find a job in the future, but without our grades, we can't possibly get into a good university. This is where the "development" and "consolidation" comes in. In my opinion, consolidation is only needed at the most important times. In other words, to learn to use your knowledge in an exam, which is why I haven't gave a damn about the humanities for quite a long time. There is no reason for me to ace all the exams and forget everything I've learnt soon after. I would rather fail all of them and get one subject mastered (<= already achieved). So now, my next goal is to get 2 subject mastered. I have no idea why but I somehow do well in chemistry although I haven't memorised any concept fully before sitting for the test. Hence, I have decided that I would learn my Chem well too, not saying that I am very interested or anything (like the logical analysis though, but not so sure for organic chem). Back to my point, the question of "So what?" demanded a very important answer from myself - the thing that I really really wanted in life. Even if I had made a great contribution to anything, do I really want that? Looking at all the successful people, I don't even get a slightest bit of inspiration that I should be like them as it is simply not what I want. The idea of HOLYNESS comes in then. It is indeed good not to be so pragmatic, and the emphasis on the inner strength is what most people should consider, and by far the most favorable choice for me. Working in the society is just for one's livelihood. Goals are important in life, but there is rarely a goal that really brings about a difference in life, which is why all my achievement in the past looked so useless right now. I do have to konw my stuff now though, otherwise I would be wasting my time.

Definition please

Very clearly, I have boxed the ironic part for you. Finally, I am posting something fun after a long stream of emo posts. Even the guy who said he "hates people with poor grades" qualify. I think we need to redefine what is good academic results.

n00b people who fail

Well, I am partly regretting that I got into SC1, hoping to have better physics teachers, but unfortunately, those who teach the CSE are failures. I am rather unsatified with my A2 for physics this term, especially when I should be getting my A1. (I never mentioned that I should be getting A1 for the previous terms, I just said that the answer keys are screwed.) I know that my English isn't good, and obviously that led to be losing quite a lot of marks for many explanation questions. However, it's not like I don't understand them, it's just that no one understands my high level of thinking. C'mon, the question was addressing the case of hearing loss among youths and obviously it is an assumption to say that youths play loud music from their MP3 for long periods of time, despite it being the case because it wasn't mentioned in the comprehension. I would believe that those people in Singapore who choose to be a teacher are those who aren't able to get a job without the government (but obviously there are others who are just lazy). My point is: If what you are teaching isn't your area of talent, then don't teach, you won't be respected that way. Physics is a very mathemetical based subject and if physics teachers can't prove their answers with math, anything is just an assumption, no matter how logical it seems. I do believe that teachers ought to show that they possess more knowledge, but showing their superiority to students despite themselves making a mistake is not something that we would want to see them doing. In fact, I was rather pissed of at that big cross on my paper when I actually provided a prove for the increase in lateral displacement of the ray when the angle of incidence increases. Apparently, she viewed it as total crap without using her brain. There are too many times I get pissed off at people who have no brain or people who have brains which do not work properly. This term's physics test is simply another of the countless examples that I've been through and should be tolerated as well. Moreover, taking the holy path requires tolerance for this kind of unjust treatment. However, I really do wonder if such things are still possible when the Europeans countries as well as America has turned this world into a pragmatic country, where there is so much competition, so much work to do that had lead to the loss of many traditional Asian values that had been valued for 5 millenniums. もうこんな事を忍耐することになれた。でも、僕は将来この世界を僕が好きなように変える。そんな人を真っ暗の世界に捨てる。

止んだ

It's a long time since I blogged, which was partly due to the tests and mostly due to the internet connection of the boarding school which fails. However, it's the convenience that is the most important and thus I should just endure it. I've realised that I have lost my target in life, having no goal. Not that I don't really have one, but just that small goals are too insignificant. In other words, I have really thought about my future thoroughly. I don't know why 3 is such a nice number, but I couldn't be bothered a single bit about what I am going to do in the future. Hence, my ace this year is also a bit screwed. I gotten used to it. One year of hard work to accumulate those points, and one year later, everything disappears. (Btw, the subject with the second most number of ace is English) I did feel that getting prizes for math competitions are much more meaningful, but the failure after SMO really made me doubt it's usefulness again. I didn't make much progress in anything this year, which was similar to Sec 1 though, but I probably didn't realise it as I was emoing for most of the year, and everything turned out fine in the end. I wouldn't say that this stop in my life is because I have grown into an age when I slack, but simply because it's Sec 3. C'mon last year's 1.22 was a form of accomplishment, but this year... Even if I've gotton 1.1 (1.0 is impossible for me), it's meaningless to be a Chan Wei and show off, niaoing others for their 2.xx. I do have more important stuff to do this year, compared to the ace. I have no time due to the 2 extra subjects. It's stupid that they can merge humanes ace but not science :O. Btw, ace is meaningless because I won't go further into any topic unless I am interested in it, which is a screwed way that defys the laws of nature. Back to the point, I have no interest in doing business. It's no fun earning money, not that I am saying that other jobs are fun. But imagining yourself idling at home and free money comes in. Very fun! I can't even spend my Saturday properly. I can't go out because it's too time-comsuming, neither can I stay at home because I don't have much work, and stones more than half the day. Well, we probably need to consider one step further now. So what even if I've found a job? Life still has to go on. It doesn't make a difference because I would just depend on it for survival. Why can't just some new school of thought come up to solve all the problems caused by the competition among the different countries. All the Confucious stuff and Taoism can't be applied nowadays (blame the Europeans and Americans for that, they led us here). Time had always been given to me to ponder about all the stuff in the world, but who the hell cares with all the entertainment? They might as well go watch a movie for some "bonding" (I don't really understand the meaning of that). I've wasted quite a lot of my time due to the lack of sleep. If I can get over sleeping problems, then I believe that there would be a higher level of analysis in anything.

This time it's not me

Well, the constant failure this year isn't completely fue to my failing, but due to other factors such as people who want to trouble you. I was really pissed off by the kind of luck that I got at the project day judging. The judge combo was the worst ever combo of all, 2 bitches and one dog. The reason of failing us was the lack of result analysis, and that is definitely not a good reason to fail us. Well, it's indeed more accurate to triplicate experiments for more accuracy, but without the accuracy, the experiments aren't void either. The graph shown wasn't lacking anything too. It was a complete excuse to use such a reason to fail us, and I strongly believe that none of them had done a science project in the past. Zzz, just look at how old they are, SG didn't have so much funding on education 30 years back. Yes, the project has taken up much of my precious time, which could be used to do many other things. However, these pests do not know the hardships of us, and fail us with lame excuses. C'mon, I can come up with so many more if they were doing one.

Really really tired of such a system, which people who possess more knowledge but no brain get to evaluate the quality of others' work. There is no reason for me to emo anymore. It won't get me anywhere, and I would also thus fail as myself. I've realised the importance to change the world, to one which I will no longer be bombarded with crap, but how should I do it, is still a question which I would ponder about.

Rebellion, revolution are caused by the unsatisfactory of people, which only happen once in a while. Life should be peaceful, but it cannot always be, and to prepare for this unsatisfying moment, the world ought to be changed your way. I too feel the powerless feeling, the anger of a weakling, and one day I would grow strong, and defeat the pests that were once "stronger".

New popularity

Somehow the anime season dieded, and there is this new popularity of Korean Drama in my class. It's simply because Keith Goh watches it and the rest who have nothing better to do just sit around to watch the seemingly interesting drama. (If it wasn't interesting, why would someone be watching? LOL) Hmm, my parents just ordered E-City recently, and yesterday I had nothing to do so I turned to that channel since it's new. Coincidentally, it was 7pm and some random Korean Drama started, and it's the first episode too. My father tried to prevent me from watching, but there wasn't anything interesting on the other channels. So he was forced to change it back. Well, it doesn't seem to cater to adult audiences, and I would say it's like turning anime into real-life. (-.-"') But the death of the anime season had to be blamed on the recent period failing. There wasn't much to watch after H2O and Ef had more than one protagonist, so it was very disorganised and I didn't like it, thus stopping to watch anime for 2 weeks already. Maybe anime just isn't my thing. At AFA08 there were so many characters of random animes which I didn't know, and I doubt that they are interesting. (with the exception of code geass)

I guess it's just time for a change now, since I got bored of anime, so watch something else. The point is, I have absolutely no idea why so many people like Korean Drama. (Or is it just because those people around me are mostly teens and adults in their 20s?) People like my parents don't like those kind of drama, and prefer stuff like 潜伏. Everything would turn boring in the end I guess. So we have to keep changing to entertain ourselves.

More posts

This is another filler post I suppose. Anyway, I slacked through the first(second) week of term 3, still in the playing mood due to the timeslots cleared for H1N1. I can't seem to get myself to do something constructive, like learning new stuff. (Does memorising half of 三字经 count?) Term 3 shouldn't be a very busy term for me. Sec 1 I picked up anime and Weiqi in Term 3. Sec 2 I picked up Dota in Term 3. This year I have no idea of what I am going to do, but I know Term 3 is the only time that I can and bother to try something new. Surprisingly Longang was rather pleased with our 3.37, although he said that we had to get <3. I have completely no idea of how much ACE I have for each subject, but I feel that they aren't gonna be maxed. OP's worse, I tried speaking up, but besides being lame and saying all those stuff in our notes, there really isn't anything else to say. The OP system encourages people to speak up, but in a science class, there is only one answer and I feel that there is really no point repeating what the teacher said just to get a few marks. It's FREE, but I don't want it. Now in a humanes or language class, I don't really get a chance to talk besides crapping. Who can tell whether an IR would be successful if they do not know the mindset of people? And all the answers provided by those LAME people are simply economy failing so IR also fail or cannot earn money from locals and stuff. Very lame answers which do not have a deep level of thinking and investigation. If this was to turn into an English exposition, I don't know how many people would be marked down because the teachers says that they are assuming. Even the casinoes in Macau and Vegas aren't really successful because the economy is doing well. The police in Macau is already used to people suiciding and it's not uncommon to see people getting rescued almost immediately after they jump. If it weren't for these people to "sponsor" the casinoes, Macau would have died a long time ago. Hence, if we were to get OP for these lame stuff, might as well abolish the stupid system completely. What is said isn't even convincing enough. Chances are hard to come by, but when one comes, how we make use of it is the key to domination.

Loss of domination

I am already feeling the impact of the loss of domination, in whichever area that I once owned in. This year's SMO results aren't very satisfying for me, and my Jap compo just got below 12/15 for the first time. I do agree that I am slack, but last year I wasn't much better and life was a lot smoother compared to this year other than Gwee Hana screwing me after every Geog test. I still strongly believes that what I am doing is good for myself. If now is not the time to specialise, then when is the time? Furthermore, specialisation means the removal of other stuff because time is limited. Hence, I see myself having 2 Humanes and English. Humanes aren't really a problem, but as for English, I don't find it very useful to me. I don't really want to master English too well, and having such an intensive curriculum for English is simply because Singapore follows the British education system and prepares us for the "top" universities. These so-called "top" universities claims themselves to be globally recognised, but who bothers to not recognise them and on what basis are they ranked top? FYI, "ranked top" suggests the presence of a ranking system, and I don't think such a ranking system is recognised. Furthermore, the amount of information learnt in university aren't gonna be of much use after you graduate, and eventually you would forget. I can guarantee that at least 75% of people go to university for their degrees, and out of these 75%, there is this group of people who go to "top" universities to get the "globally recognised" degrees. As a student, I feel the importance of the "globally recognised" degrees giving me an advantage in finding a job because not many people know such an SOPHISTICATED school of thought. But if I ever become an employer in the future, I really won't know who to hire unless I know them well (situation in China). I am not saying that the we should all adopt the China system. If so, employers can spend time in cafes with the shortlisted candidates for like 1 or 2 weeks. Then, they can get to know who to employ, but then the cafe's profits would have gone up. If I can earn more by working in a cafe, just by preparing coffee and tea, then there is no need for us to study since primary one. I am losing my dominance because of Singapore's screwed education system, which cannot select the right stuff for us to do. Getting penalised for assumptions in an exposition just isn't logical. Yes, you are the teacher, but you are still in no position to penalise me like such. Just like how Grace Chua cannot answer my question of assumed assumptions last year when I got 19/30. A conducive learning environment is important, and I can guarantee all that SG isn't a place for me to study.

A Break

I couldn't be more pissed than failing all the time. Everything is going down the drain. Maybe that got to do with me having a teacher called longang. Longang, everything goes in, nothing comes out, beware of dropping things inside. Haha. That was lame. It would be great if life could be smoother, and it certainly aren't gonna be if I have to abide to all my school rules. In the past, I coped with all the stress because there was a sense of accomplishment at the end, but constant failing is gonna turn you emo, and probably leading to suicide. Of course I won't be crazy enough to do that yet, but I seriously need a break from all those retarded English and IH homework. There was this observation which I made during the e-learning week, which is that neighbourhood school students go home at like 1.30pm. WTF!! I AM FREAKING TIRING MYSELF OUT FOR 12 HOURS A DAY AND PEOPLE OF THE SAME AGE GET TO GO HOME AND SLACK AT 1.30PM. Of course, I can't really blame it on the school. I didn't go to HP because I know that I wouldn't like and would die of such an intense curriculum (doesn't seem to fruitful despite its intensiveness). The problem lies with this new teacher called longang, who likes to involve us in politics, especially Singapore politics. If Singaporeans ever get a say in local politics, the sun would rise from the west, the sun will revolve around the earth, and earth would revolve around the moon. Anyway, why do something that won't do you any good? That's like totally based on imagination, but has got no application in real-life unlike philosophy. SG is an Asian country, and how many Asian countries have English as their core language? Well, if you are expecting us to go to European or North American countries and involve in their politics, then SG government is gonna screw you. There are times when there's a better and easier way to do stuff, and there are times when you need to do things the hard way. SG people don't know how to identify these times.

This is another vent-your-anger-online post. Vent your anger on my tagboard if you disagree.

Comments about H2O

One of the best anime made from a visual novel I would say, comparing to those which I watched like SHUFFLE!, Prism Ark, and CLANNAD I think. First thing is because the protagonist is NORMAL, unlike Rin who had no balls and Hayate who was kiddish. CLANNAD was too peaceful. I liked the setting in H₂O, and the fued between Hayami and the village, which intensified after the younger generation began to accept her. Everything simply went wrong the moment they turned right, and it was nice to see the characters struggling through everyday of their lives. Last part was rather similar to SHUFFLE! I think, the protagonist had to accept reality. I felt lucky that it wasn't sadistic. Sadism might result in more emo-ness, considering that most who watch anime are already the emo people, give them one sad anime and they go commit suicide. Now I am still stuck on what to watch, but maybe find something to refresh myself a bit before finishing AIR.

Very short post, but I didn't want to be a spoiler because the story was really nice to me. The OP and ED suited the setting. On par with Code Geass.

Aganist tests?

The 2 B3s which I got recently is rather annoying. When I thought that my MSG could finally get better, things turned for the worse. Not blaming anyone but YapS didn't really explain the centripetal acceleration thing properly. I know that it is constant, but why do you have a velocity-time graph of a 1-D world and a acceleration-time graph of a 2-D one? The other part was because of carelessness. I didn't really expect to explain in specific detail for some questions because of the number of lines given and another reason was because when you do maths you don't have the prove the theory once more before carrying on to the next step. If spamming is the technique, we are simply saying quantity=quality. So in the end, it's just a matter of what satisfies you.

However, from Hon's point of view, we are only good with MSG 1 and 0 demerit points and stuff, and without them you get kicked out of this and that and don't get OSA and no overseas trip and blah blah... Too long a list. Not being exam-smart does have quite serious consequences. Hence, I get the feeling that teachers are EVIL because it somehow seems like they want to trick you or something, like all those people who backstab you all out of a sudden, by giving you a simple test and giving excuses to deduct your marks in the end. But I really need to find a way to counter such a problem because it is really retarded to score badly because you simply didn't answer the question in the "right" way. Very sian term of the mega-phailing. Hopefully next term don't screw up anymore.

Just really really tired

It's good to pause a bit and think about the usefulness of what you have done. It's only then that I realised that, "Hey! There is really no point in mugging for an exam but I have to mug." It's actually not compulsory, but in an Asian society, this is what is required. You have to be the best, but how best can we be in school? When people have different strengths, it is wrong to say that those who are weak in a certain subject are retarded because that certain subject pulls down their overall MSG. On the other hand, it is wrong to say that muggers rule. In actual fact, people have been influenced since young that good results = everything. However, it took me 10 years to realise that no matter how great your results were in school, they may only be due to the 25% chance of a difficult MCQ question. Moreover, good results aren't gonna earn you a living. Despite the fact that it is certainly the case, you do have to master everything taught in school, but not to the point that you get penalised for using the word "vibrate" to describe fluid movement when the teacher's English standard is already CMI. Therefore, now I am dedicating more of my time to Longang, but not all, because the filter of usefulness is still there. What's the point of doing a Paul's Wheel when you can have everything in your head already, and Paul's wheel is only listing what you have in your head on a piece of paper, which is harming the environment and also insulting yourself, for the human brain has unlimited storage. However, there is also another reason why I mug for the tests. To show muggers that they are wrong. There is obviously a distinction between a mugger and a real pro. A real pro doesn't have to study to get his A1 because he has superficial memory to memorise everything that the teacher said in class, which unfortuantely I do not possess when it vcomes to anything besides numbers. (That just contradicts my point, I can simply enumerate everything which I have learnt to help remember, but oh well)

Referring to 老子's 《道德经》, there is a clear distinction between outside and inside. However, in any kind of society, it is practically impossible to become HOLY. If your want to do that, you need some fame, otherwise you are dead by now. Furthermore, it is also considered as a waste of resources if one goes to school and does not make use of the skills taught.

Haiz... I am off the point a long time ago. Anyway, I am really tired of getting good grades just for a nice result slip as the result slip is practically useless. The Canadian educational system may be great in a sense, but different people have different personalities, and ultimately the thing boils down to differentiating examinees and students.

Former Swang (Swine) Flu

I didn't really expect to be so free at such a point of time during the year, especially with my last two years' afternoon's being tightly packed. Sec 1: Band thrice (twice) + 3rd lang twice, otherwise occupied by sleeping due to low work efficiency then. Sec 2: Band thrice + 3rd lang twice + IVP once. Sec 3 Jan-Apr: Math Olympiad twice + Band twice + 3rd lang once + Project meeting once. Sec 3 Apr-Now: Mega O.R. for band due to various reasons + public holiday + CCA holiday. ( -.-"') (I am expecting people to tag "OH, you are just giving excuses not to come") Therefore, I should be much more free than Term 1. However, despite cutting down my DotA time, I wasn't able to complete some of my homework on time. There may be an increased workload but I didn't realise it. However, it is quite a good time for be to buck up slightly on my ACE, though I really don't know when would I finish those assignments. It's like your ACE would naturally max out in Term 3 for some reason, therefore I haven't done anything until now. If Longang Chan stop spamming us with homework and gives us some ACE assignments, I am sure that my English Ace would be 10 by now.

I really hope Swang Flu would stabilise soon, because getting too used to slacking isn't good. Once you slack, you slack more, and slacking time, though increasing linearly, total amount of time wasted increases exponentially.

Failing

I am simply posting this due to my blog history. 2007 (70), 2008 (24), 2009(7). Last year was really a failure, but to tell the truth, last year was a rather successdul year in terms of school work. No more sleeping at 1am and stuff. Personally, I dislike the large amount of homework given by the teachers last year because I was never able to do them properly, writing crap answers and stuff, whereas this year I was doing my homework with a bit more effort. For some reason, I am somehow determined to reach the level of true trilingualism, not simply Can Make It for all. However, English haven't been improving much lately, just simply couldn't remember all the words in comprehension, but still improving due to the topics taught by Longang.

Chinese would be slightly faster I suppose, because I feel that the teachers really have a way of improving our Chinese in Sec 3, unlike ShiehLS who simply spammed us with compo and expect us to improve. I believe that we may not be behind the schools under the Express Stream, but somehow I feel that because there aren't many times which we actually get to use the words that we learn and hence we forget.

Japanese? Na, last years super mugging gone down the drain, but not 100%, I still learnt some stuff, just that I don't realise it, probably gonna do some light mugging every now and then.

Then it's math. The hard part is already here, and I don't stand a lot of chance at Geometry anymore, worse for Number Theory, probably need to read more online Geometric stuff, then can get the gist of it.

Yesterday was spent slacking, today too. Tomorrow is bucking up day, read AC Nation and do math I suppose. Somehow I get the feeling that there is more work to be done, or maybe just because I am having extra time after cutting down on the dota matches on Sat and Sun. Hope you aren't bored to death by this.

For my animaniac friends, I am currently at episode 20 of Clannad now, gonna finish it by next week.

Before you flame my tagboard

Despite the majors emphasising the fact that we should not get arrogant about our achievement, I still have to post it because I made a promise to my readers... (countable I suppose, not even one-third of 2M2008++) Anyway, the thing is, we got GwH! What is GwH? If you don't know, you can ask my friends. Click on the links and hope to find someone willing to help you, and even if you know, don't bother flaming the tagboard. 1. Flame who? Me? You can't. I am invulnerable to insults. Or if you are really so determined to make me pissed, you can try reading all my previous blog posts and I am sure the hints will all come out when you are done. However, by then you would have wasted quite some time of your precious life reading all my previous blog posts, which didn't have the quality of those which I am posting now.

If you were here to congratulate me, please do that somewhere else because there is really no point doing it here. Imagine me tagging 'thx' on my tagboard, so lame! So I am gonna do it here. Thanks for the support people! Please get me to support you as well if you ever have the chance. Next goal in life: TOP 30 for SSSMO. Then, next year can go Hamamatsu without the feeling of missing something.

101 and counting

ついに一百一番のポストだ！とても長いストーリーはここに書いてあるよ！だって、僕の二年前からの記憶は全部ここにある。懐かしい...　金曜日はバンドのコンペティションだよ。準備はどうかわからないが、もっと自信があるようになるは今の要だ。この一週間にいくら努力しても、あまり効果的ではないと思う。そして、自信はないなら、大会の日にきっとその場合の空白を恐れる。その時は、大きく吹こうが吹くまいが、自分だけが聞こえる。だから、その十分に、夢幻の世界に行かなきゃ。いい夢を見て天国の幸せを感じる。後で現実の世界に戻る時、もう成功した。この四ヶ月の努力はそのただの八分のためなので、選択はない。唯一の結局は一番になる！

Part of the reason I am posting it in Japanese is because I regard anime as a virtual world, and hence dump my feelings into it. However, don't be discouraged if you really want to know what I am thinking, because I would be hopefully doing one in English soon. Give me some support for my SYF, then we can feel the school glory together.

Memories

おめでとうございます！これは一百番目のポストだ。読み続いてね！

前の日記を読むと、過去に返った感じが出る。しかし、あの時の人はお前が聞こえないし、見えないし、お前は存在ではなさそうだ。たぶん、それは違わないけど、過去に返った理由は前の自分を見る。もちろん、わからなかったことがある。いつも「どうしてそんな馬鹿なことをした」と自分に聞くが、答えが見つけられない。特にとても変なこと（誰にも教えられない）と変な反応だ。そんなことが説明できる唯一の理由はその自分はまだ若すぎたので、世界は自分にとってちょっと難しかった。でも、その時に思ってる事がもう全部忘れた。今できる事は過去の間違えを忘れて、新しい自分に変わる。

That was just another piece of reflection by me in Japanese, but somehow it was still hard to do some reflection in a foreign language. Most of the time, when you can't find a word to suit into your sentence, you think of another way to phrase the sentence. Thus, the hole that is there is never filled up. Is life about filling holes or building mountains. Not saying that one should be an all-rounder but you definitely need to fill up the right space. Hence...

Argh, I can't think of a good topic to crap about.

OK, let's talk about my emo-ness again. I haven't gone back to my virtual world for quite a long time. Having been dreaming a lot these days. Probably that's why people need to believe in God, for some illusion of there is someone supporting you from behind. However, when you are determined to deny God's existence, you needed some comfort zones to vent your anger and the pain of the real world, which is your virtual world. I am feeling very sian this term because of the long period before I went back during last December. Not able to do that during the March holidays either. Just hoping that there would be more school activities Next Term.

New Habit

Ever since I came into the small classroom of SC1, I developed a habit of grabbing the smooth door handle occasionally. I don't know why I like the door handle so much but I just felt like grabbing onto something when I didn't have a pen in my hand. Then, the guy beside me would say, "Walao, what's your problem? Hug the door handle for what?" Of course it's not because I actually like the door handle so much by my hands get itchy. Then today, the situation got worse. I was spinning a chair around myself during Bio lesson. Never found out the reason why I did that, but I was disappointed when I realised that the chair is hard. So hoping to grab something soft but couldn't. The Bio teacher did suggest me getting a soft toy, but I think it would be even more weird because if I do, I need a big one and can't probably put it into the classroom. Hence, I need to find an alternative solution, but for the meantime, I should probably just bear with it.

Going through teenage is rather weird. In the past, I often wanted what other had. Now, it's not what others have that I want, but what they don't. I want to show the unique side of myself, which isn't really unique. I've been wondering why I actually gave myself a freedom of speech. There were always things which I was too shy to tell others (you have been seeing a fake me all along). Teenage is evil. You gain more independence but wanted some care. You want people to say something to you although you may not need it. That's how I've been feeling for the 2 extra hours I am awake each day. Really hope to sleep early :)

Of course, everyone still has his own secrets. I can see what every loner needs because I am one myself. Why are people so lonely? I guess it's probably the situation in Singapore. Your friends live too far from you. You can't simply go to their houses every weekend like what my Jap teacher could. She says that students in Singapore are very pathetic. I wholeheartedly agree. There is no one you could actually consider a true friend. Whom you can see after school ends and not just a contact on MSN. Ask yourself, in your life, how many true friends have you had. I would say probably those in primary school. They were those who shared enjoyable memories outside school with you every afternoon, but they have to leave you. Then you move on to secondary school and get a new group of friends, who may not be very good friends with you but you see them more often and the challenging tasks develop teamwork among you, this is when your memories of past friends start to fade. Then you move on to JC, you forget the teamwork you developed with your friends in secondary school. Your new mugging group revises the same topics as you and score about the same marks as you in JC. University is all thats left, but no matter how many friends you make in the world, there is always a time to say goodbye. We all hate these moments. I loved the birthday parties in Primary School, I loved the joy and laughter in 2M, but the memories fade.

Got slightly affected by the CSE coordinator. I am in a weird state of mind now, not tired, not active, but blissful. These moments come occasionally, but I can't cherish them sometimes. Thank you for reading this long piece of crap. Please continue to be a reader.

Uniqueness with Scopophobia

I've actually realised long ago, that my personality has contradictions. I am a person that likes to be unique, but in most cases, unique=weird and in some cases crazy. Then some people quote from some books: but everyone is unique in their own way. I know that! But people in Singapore just looks so similar just that they have different faces. Of course, I am not referring to everyone but you certainly can group them.

Back to the point, you find yourself thinking in a way that is much different from the rest. However, there is this majority win rule that would take the decision of the majority which is not proven to be 100% effective. Therefore, you wouldn't dare to express yourself, especially with the "seek first to understand then to be understood" thing, which is not right. Say if there are 2 people and neither of them seeks to be understood first, there is not way they can become good friends because they can't even understand each other. If both are seeking to understand, then what is to be understood?

Therefore, all the famous quotes from people are either screwed, or people don't understand them the right way and screw them. So in the end everything is screwed.

Can this be why people are so uncreative? It is highly possible because the creativity of a person is confined within the general opinion of the public, which is usually wrong. We say this is wrong and that is wrong, but sometimes we never realise that it is simply the opinion of the public and not exactly wrong in any sense, just that the media has a certain level of high influence on us.

Thus, there is this false impression that being unique is wrong because other people don't think the way you do, which is what I must get rid of and heck the "weirdness" that is the opinion of the general public. I should just voice out my opinions like there is a rule of you having to say that I am right. Like saying: the general public is a large group of 废 people who limits the creativity of others and hence hinders the advancement of the society.

Careful till I am careless

This is the 2nd post this week. But, OMG! I left my homework file in SALT Centre! OK, the story was like this:

Just beginning to learn to do my homework in SALT Centre during full band, I brought my file in to the main hall of the SALT Centre band room to make full use of my time. However, the JC liked to practise after us, and this Friday, the cursed day when my classroom had the aircon left on and me leaving my homework file in SALT Centre, was no exception. So it neared 5 o'clock, and I had to take my measurements for the New blazer. The JC was moving in at that time, while I was being very careful about not missing any of the 7 things and counting which I am bringing into the band room: 1. Mouthpiece 2. Score 3. Pencil & Notebook 4. Water bottle 5. Metro-tuner 6. Pencil case 7. Homework File. Then I went down to take my measurements with YaoChong looking after my stuff, which he did rather well. Then the tailor hadn't came yet so we went back up for 10 min sectionals. So at 5.45, everything was done and I was packing up. Making sure that I had 7 things again and thinking that there is no way of losing anything, I packed by bag. BUT! Due to my habit of thinking that the pencil box is the last item, I LEFT MY HOMEWORK FILE THERE! I was thinking why it was so easy to put my pencil case into my bag then, but didn't suspect anything. Probably because all the music drowned my paranoia and of course partly due to my ****phobia... No, that day must be cursed. I bet that Friday the thirteenth has got some pronunciation relation ship with the thirtieth, and so does the fortune. Go check wikipedia, there's gonna be 3 more Fridays falling on the 13th! I better be less careful.

Incase you are wondering how many lessons I can survive through without my homework file, I would say probably half of them, because I won't be getting the neutralizing luck which I got on the Friday of the first week.

Venting my anger again

Part of the internet's job is to give people room for them to vent their anger. Despite my busy schedule, I am posting something here because I feel that there should be vengeance for mistreating me. So, I came home tired as usual, and hoping to watch another episode of CLANNAD, but somehow 土豆 is lagging like shit, so I gave up. Then I went to check SMB, and the seemingly most urgent message was the one which Laurang urging us to vote for GG. Who doesn't want to vote when she posted the same message a few weeks ago? But that bloody site requires me to sign up. Of course, I dislike filling in my particulars (it triggers my paranoia). So I didn't bother after that. However, the new message told us to sign up. So I 给了点面子 and signed up. That f*cking site requires a username more than 8 characters and less then 50. Who the hell needs a username of more than eight characters and which idiot would have a username of up to 50 characters? Imagine signing in at your friend's house. You type 50 characters and then later they say wrong username or password. Furthermore, there is no password strength requirement, so I just type an x there and with some hacking software anyone can get into my account in less than a second, retarded isn't it? Personally, I think a 3-character username is short, nice and easy to remember. Therefore, I didn't like it and signed up as "eight_characters". After that I tried voting again, but they said my account was inactive and made me take the trouble to go to my email and activate my account, and then the link below took me to some blank page that tells me there is a null error. I went back to the original page and tried again, but it didn't work and after 3 times it told me I've used up my quota. Therefore, I requested for a change of password, when I changed it back, I couldn't login again.

Now you get the point? I have spent much more time waiting for my internet to load than you reading this post and I couldn't vote in the end.

You must agree with me, STOMP is an A.H. website that contains loads of 牛の糞 that scams you for your personal information. I should sue them for this.