So What?

It been so long that only until this year which I have asked the question so what. I have been very competitive with my personality throughout the years. However, recently when thing don't turn my way despite a significant amount of hard work, the question of "so what?" came in. I do agree that it is totally pointless to excel in school but unable to find a job in the future, but without our grades, we can't possibly get into a good university. This is where the "development" and "consolidation" comes in. In my opinion, consolidation is only needed at the most important times. In other words, to learn to use your knowledge in an exam, which is why I haven't gave a damn about the humanities for quite a long time. There is no reason for me to ace all the exams and forget everything I've learnt soon after. I would rather fail all of them and get one subject mastered (<= already achieved). So now, my next goal is to get 2 subject mastered. I have no idea why but I somehow do well in chemistry although I haven't memorised any concept fully before sitting for the test. Hence, I have decided that I would learn my Chem well too, not saying that I am very interested or anything (like the logical analysis though, but not so sure for organic chem). Back to my point, the question of "So what?" demanded a very important answer from myself - the thing that I really really wanted in life. Even if I had made a great contribution to anything, do I really want that? Looking at all the successful people, I don't even get a slightest bit of inspiration that I should be like them as it is simply not what I want. The idea of HOLYNESS comes in then. It is indeed good not to be so pragmatic, and the emphasis on the inner strength is what most people should consider, and by far the most favorable choice for me. Working in the society is just for one's livelihood. Goals are important in life, but there is rarely a goal that really brings about a difference in life, which is why all my achievement in the past looked so useless right now. I do have to konw my stuff now though, otherwise I would be wasting my time.