第一幕

性格与道德的争执

More reflections

Today, I met another guy who preaches about Christianity. Well, although it took up quite a bit of my time. I've decided to listen to him as I felt that there were some parts which were rather inspirational. Well, one thing which I didn't like is that he assumed that those who do not believe in God are atheists. However, he didn't know that I was listening to him because I was open. Personally, I chose not to believe in Christianity because I've never met God. I did exactly the thing he requested me to do -- allow God to speak to me, but it didn't have the same effect on me as Christians. This kinda reminded me about one of my distant relatives who watched Journey to the West drama series till the point that he believed that he can summon the somersault cloud, and ended up breaking one of his legs after jumping off the roof. I also thought about the case, not sure when, of a kid persuading all his friends into suiciding with him. It just shows how believing in something can work aganist you. If I were born in a poor African country, I really don't see how Christianity can help me solve my problems of survival, and if He didn't adopt pragmatism, I don't see how Singaporeans can survive till today. After pondering about the purpose of life for sometime, I came to the simple conclusion that life is just about enjoyment, which is the same as the conclusion which those professors who debated over the bible came to, except that there was this extra bit of glorifying God, which I do not believe in. However, his words did gave me a better understanding of "God". As someone who hasn't met God, I would conclude that the existence of God is one's intuition and love for himself and the world. I cannot feel the love of God, neither can I hear him (supposing he existed of course), but I know that I feel uneasy doing something aganist my conscience. The bit about God's love would be to love yourself and stay optimistic, otherwise I do not see it's purpose in my life. All in all, I would still say that the chat was rather inspirational, it kinda confirmed my stand that God doesn't not exist based on my own knowledge. As a true free-thinker (I truly agree with him that atheists aren't free thinkers), I would have to prove that I can remain happy without God. However, I would have to think about how that can be done.

Reflections

After having a smooth 6 months of JC life, I've finally came to the worst phase of JC - J1 Term 3. It really makes me depressed to the point that I have to agree with Si Hui's ideology of "life sucks". Firstly, it's PW. I always liked the idea of no pain, no gain, but not the idea of having pain yet no gain. It just screws my life up and I don't feel as if I've improved myself. However, I feel very guilty for not doing work that is supposed to be done. Next is H1 Jap, I never found myself spending so much time on this. The point is, the stupid oral presentation thing has very weird requirements. I've already written my 4th draft but it isn't close to perfect yet. (I bet the Half-Jap peeps in H2 are suffering too) The last thing is that I haven't got to watch Harry Potter. Many of my friends watched it already, but I haven't got to watch it because I'm busy and my close friends are busy too. I've also been kinda isolated from social interactions lately due to these assignments that can never be completed due to some retarded requirements. I know that people are going through this phase of life together with me, but the reality is, to survive, you only have yourself.

Filler

I'm here to fill this place with more posts. Well, it has been rather tiring recently, but not to the point which I will get emo, so I didn't need to post a lot here. Blocks was rather smooth (I got my usually As and I've no idea what's gonna happen to my Ds). I've also been watching a little of 君に届け 2nd season, and I really have to say that it's the least brainless Shoujo anime I've watched so far. (I haven't survived for more than 3 episodes in the past) The very interesting thing is that the anime has portrayed the Asian mindset to love rather clearly. (I'm now wondering whether I still have a crush) One would choose to observe the other party from afar rather than using any form of direct approach. I shall probably watching later as a form of consolation for today. Everyone went to watch Harry Potter and I'm kinda stuck at the 3rd lang center practising Japanese (not really learning much stuff). The school is retarded to put the half day today. I've no idea how many of my classmates are doing their Physics AA/Go for Chinese Oral/Misc. School-related stuff. Well, I should probably say that this term isn't a term for relaxing as I'm already seeing the workload piled ahead of me which would "entertain" me for the rest of the term. Simply hoping that there would be some chalets/outings after promos to make up for these hard times as a student.