The path ahead

Promenade today marks the end of my JC life. The final occasion to take photos with my friends turned out to be a messy and empty one. Why is everyone rushing to take photos with everyone else? Personally I thought that there was ample opportunity to take photos with all of your friends after the event, so it would be more appropriate for us to sit down and chat about our experience in the past two years. However, it turned out to be a disaster. Most were walking about and taking photos with one another. The emcee was completely ignored. The food was left barely touched at many tables, and the waiters and waitresses had to distribute them in order to serve the next dish (and go home earlier). I myself was left at the table and also decided to walk around since there was simply no one to talk to in such an atmosphere. Well, I guess I shouldn't expect much from a Singaporean JC Promenade. 

Now about the path ahead. This is the first time that I am making a decision for myself. My parents look from the practical point of view and tells me to take a course that is related to a career which I might specialise in the future. However, I think otherwise. Being practical has its limits. As we face the constantly changing vicissitudes of the 21st century, it is hard to determine the lucrative market of tomorrow. If I were really after money, I would just ignore my interests and simply become a doctor. However, 12 years of education has taught me that life isn't about success or money. It's about living the way you want. As an abstract person, I am contented to live in a world of thought, so I think I should be learning something such as the natural sciences. 

On my way home today there was this little bit about relationships. While I do want to get into one, I've persuaded myself into thinking that relationships are forbidden in JC. Not because I'm too young, but because there's too much uncertainty in my future and geographical barriers are likely to arise. I personally prefer not to be bounded to a place/organisation for 10 years in a rapidly changing world. Adaptability is the key to survival and depriving myself of that is not a wise decision. Moving on to the next phase of life on Thursday. My view to life might probably change. But as a cynic who thinks that life is harsh, that's rather unlikely.

苦しい...

でも、進むしかない。

Disappointment

I really can't understand why people around me are complaining that they are sad, especially those who claim to have screwed up but top the cohort. Everyone is going through the same torture, and there are people who feel much worse albeit greater effort. So STFU and accept the fact that "life still goes on".

失败

首次尝到徒劳无功的滋味，感觉万分失落。虽然有人身为前车之鉴，确保我仍会坚强以对，但在此关键时刻，是否还有弥补的契机？

Wasted Time

Spent 4 days reading SAO. (Very cute ^_^) Somehow it reminds me that life isn't so sad despite having to go through As. I'll probably study for some time before printing out the next Chapter. (Pirated version has many errors 0_o)

Sword Art Online

So now I finally know what's on the writing pad which I gave to GC. Printing Chapter 1 out in school on Wed ^_^. Don't know why TZH took so much time looking for volumes of SAO in bookstores when they are readily available online.

More Ranting

Like many have said, not preparing for exams is probably the best thing to do. My preparation in the June holidays has probably salvaged me from the worst, but it hasn't really led to much improvement. My problem with GP is that I'm not weaker than most others in terms of skills, which is reflected in essay writing. However, the teachers have some aversion towards my diction and brevity in comprehension, which always makes me 2 grades lower than most other students. The thing about GP is that the teachers never really showed us the examiners comments from Cambridge, which makes me wonder whether their scheme of assessment is appropriate. Nevertheless, I somehow feel that I did somehow improve after preparing for GP. While I have been contented with a below-average grade for not studying in the past, I've never really bothered to answer the questions properly. The fact that I am complaining about it shows that I am more aware of how I've lost my marks. The talk with my parents is kinda motivating. Despite having viewed my poor grades as a result of my sloth (cos I haven't really studied seriously in the past year), they do become more understanding as I learn my own weaknesses. Somehow it doesn't seem too late to fix my problems now, but a locally recognised A might not be what is expected from Cambridge.

鼻涕2

I should just get over with it and move on with life.

精神の支柱

Finally, the IN of はがない is out. After 1 month of humming that incomplete 2/3 of the song and 2 months of seeking other entertainment, I now feel that I have completely watched はがない. Listening to all the old songs, it really brings back all the memories of how anime has been a form of mental support over the years. Despite the relentless workload which we have, my life was never so boring. The only sad part is that Code Geass did not have a nice OP/ED/IN for me to actually listen to and think about how I sacificed my sleeping hours just to watch it. Well, there's always FMA, H2O, SNS, Angel Beats and more. Somehow I think my social skills are actually deteriorating because of too much anime. Well, I guess it's all part of my personality. I can actually talk to someone if I intentionally turn on my extraverted side, but usually it's not. 

Two years ago, Mr Chan actually gave us a briefing on JC life, and told us that we should form our study groups. My trip to Japan actually taught me how important friends were. It is so miserable to study by myself at home. However, a bunch of SMTP students just can't study together somehow. So I've decided to study at home. I think I'll be studying in school when school reopens, perhaps in one of the E2 classrooms where there's the aircon and comfortable studying environment (library is too cold). Hopefully it will be more productive and less tormenting.

Blocks is just a few days away, and my 3 hours of studying a day, which includes improving my English and Japanese vocabulary (now this isn't really relevant), doing English Comprehensions and I&I, didn't really help much. Personaly I feel that holiday is the time to take a break from school, to restore the stamina which I had at the start of the year. There is no point in revising if you cannot sit down and concentrate in the exam hall. As a result, my revision haven't really progressed. Now, I actually have to worry about the sciences. Last year was not a crucial year, but now I have to make sure that I can get 90/100 for Chemistry and Physics so that I actually have room for making mistakes. Moreover, there is an increasing number of explanation questions and obscure defintions this year, which jeopardizes my Physics grades.

My parents seem more worried about A Levels because of my GP, but I am not aiming to get 8 As and become a top student. I plan to achieve the minimum for everything. The last guy who qualifies for anything does it at the minimum opportunity cost :D. But facing the stress from all sources, I really don't know if I can remain resilient.

o.o

I feel weird

楽

今それに気づいても、もう遅い。だから、もう現実に立ち向かえ。

Defeat

Who would ever understand the grief of the defeated?

儚さ

裏切りにどう立ち向かったらいいのでしょうか。

人生

人間はたった一つのものがあればいい。それは仲間だ。

未来日記

やはり悲劇のほうがいい。

未来日記:D

趣谈

当别人说：“你也知道啊？”的时候，你就真的也知道了。

Somehow feeling deprived.