Memories

おめでとうございます！これは一百番目のポストだ。読み続いてね！

前の日記を読むと、過去に返った感じが出る。しかし、あの時の人はお前が聞こえないし、見えないし、お前は存在ではなさそうだ。たぶん、それは違わないけど、過去に返った理由は前の自分を見る。もちろん、わからなかったことがある。いつも「どうしてそんな馬鹿なことをした」と自分に聞くが、答えが見つけられない。特にとても変なこと（誰にも教えられない）と変な反応だ。そんなことが説明できる唯一の理由はその自分はまだ若すぎたので、世界は自分にとってちょっと難しかった。でも、その時に思ってる事がもう全部忘れた。今できる事は過去の間違えを忘れて、新しい自分に変わる。

That was just another piece of reflection by me in Japanese, but somehow it was still hard to do some reflection in a foreign language. Most of the time, when you can't find a word to suit into your sentence, you think of another way to phrase the sentence. Thus, the hole that is there is never filled up. Is life about filling holes or building mountains. Not saying that one should be an all-rounder but you definitely need to fill up the right space. Hence...

Argh, I can't think of a good topic to crap about.

OK, let's talk about my emo-ness again. I haven't gone back to my virtual world for quite a long time. Having been dreaming a lot these days. Probably that's why people need to believe in God, for some illusion of there is someone supporting you from behind. However, when you are determined to deny God's existence, you needed some comfort zones to vent your anger and the pain of the real world, which is your virtual world. I am feeling very sian this term because of the long period before I went back during last December. Not able to do that during the March holidays either. Just hoping that there would be more school activities Next Term.