Shanghai Trip

It's officially called a study trip, but not many people actually had such a positive attitude towards solving all the math problems. The only work we had was to translate the question sheet and answer key into English so that the teachers can use them to teach in the future. Besides that, I got 2 Junior High Math Olympiad books1 Jap dictionary (this one own the crap out of all Eng-Jap dictionaries, XP to all suckers who uses Eng-Jap dictionaries)

1 Learn-to-draw-anime-charactersand 1 on 围棋, all of which anyone can hardly find in Singapore. I can't find anything else besides novels and novels and super-chim math taught beyond university in Singapore. In other words, Singapore bookstores really lack variety. However, I couldn't think of anything else to buy besides books, the games didn't really interest me, and I didn't have a chance to go to 电子城 where I could get some electronic devices and computer games, which I think all of us wanted to buy. Well, it doesn't really matter I suppose, I am going to 北京 soon, where I am more familiar with and have a lot more free time to go around and buy stuff, although there might not be many thing that interest me. I am really feeling tired of Singapore right now, because of so many things to care about when I come back, compared to studying Math in 上海. Next year is really coming in no time, and it would be time for hardcore mugging.

It's finally the holidays

It's good that I don't have to be emo anymore, enduring all the pains of scoring C6 for exams and not being shortlisted for stuff. For the time being, I can say that I am carefree, which is in my opinion the highest level which people can achieve in life. I am not saying that working hard is a bad thing, but we always have to remember what we are working for, and not because our ancestors say that we have to work hard. I am rather pleased with myself for cutting down on gaming time, and spending more time to improve on my linguistic skills which really takes time because there is a limit to how much we can remember each day. The only deadline which I have to meet is to improve on my tone quality by Wednesday so that Mononoke would sound better, as it is the only one in which tone quality is of higher priority. Leaving for 上海 then 北京 soon, and I am looking forward to these trips, so much more than going to USA like all my other schoolmates, probably because I am not much affected by westernization I suppose. Hoping to post some pictures soon.

No mood to study

I am messing with my Windows Live Writer right now, finding out how convenient this thing is. The only test which I have to study for is Bio on Thurs. I may be looking through the answer schemes for the IJ comprehension because there are some questions which I found it difficult to express what I am thinking, probably due to the lack of vocabulary. Well, I think part of the blame goes to my primary school teachers, for not teaching some of the commonly used expressions and the grammar associated with them. I do agree that I have mastered the basic grammar well, but too well, to the extent that not even the teachers would care about spotting those errors because there are simply too many scripts to mark and they have finish one script in like 2-3 min I suppose. Look, my class has 34 people. If Longang takes 5 min for one script, he won’t finish marking while his midnight oil last. 12 scripts takes an hour, 34 scripts takes 2 hours and 50min. 3 of such classes would take about one day of work. After adding comprehension would be enough to kill him. Hence, I really need some vocabulary to replace all the weird expressions that I have. Chinese test has a lame marking scheme, which perfectly explains why I shouldn’t care about studying. I have inferential skills that are much stronger than the teacher I suppose, and what seems obvious to me doesn’t seem obvious to the teachers. Math is a subject where I apply my knowledge for the higher paper. So the only one left is Bio. I do think that I can try Caleb’s technique of spamming twice the number of lines given and have a cross with every tick. A full mark is given anyway (although the concept is wrong), and I feel that the teachers should really give discredit to these kind of stuff. But since it’s required of an examination, I think I’ll just follow suit. There are 4 more topics left for me to revise, and I think I can go through one topic thoroughly each day until then.

I think I am rather screwed

It's been a week since exams started, and I feel really screwed, mainly because most of the papers are essay-based and I am not good at writing, in any language. Not saying that I couldn't do it, but I only found the key to writing descriptive essay 2 years ago, and got 21 marks for that. However, I couldn't get enough practice before we moved on to exposition. Well, it took me sometime to get used to it too, but what I mainly used in the past was assumed scenarios. It's is rather retarded to quote evidence for every bit of thing you write, and people end up faking statistics during the test. Well, other than that, I got a very fussy Chinese teacher this year, which picks every minor detail in the question regardless of whether it's compre or compo or ACE. I really don't see the point of writing so many meaningless sentences just to DESCRIBE the question again, like what The-SMTP-Thermal-Physics teacher asks us to do. Hence, I have decided to ignore all these requirements of tests since mid-year, to distinguish myself from "examinees". I am still somewhat at risk of not getting 2.0 for this year although I already have 4 A1s. Along with the A2s that I am getting, it is still somewhat difficult just to get a B3 for the subjects which I am really screwed at - English and IH. Good thing is that next week would be rather smooth as there are no essay-based exams anymore. I won't mind losing to people in my class anyway. The same thing happened in Sec 1, when many "examinees" got a better MSG than me, and I shouldn't care about losing another time, especially when this years MSG does bring about any benefits. Progress, has been my goal since the beginning of the year, and the difference would show in the future. Probably got affected by the people around me :). Well, good luck to you too for your exams.

No more exemptions for u guys

I am rather happy that I got exempted for 2 subjects. Max is 6 and many of my ex-classmates who got 5 exemptions last year drop to 4 or even 2 (I am niaoing CW of course). Serves those IH losers right! IH is another subject that is really damn pathetic. You have to write according to the teachers' expectations. In IHC, it is alright that the evaluation of sources have certain expectations because it is important to state clearly about what you are writing. However, plainly spamming facts in the essay is considered as explaining? Of course writing another line "Hence, we can see that A(noun) is B(adjective)" is really quite useless, but most adjectives co-exist, which brings in the importance of analogy in essays. It is impossible to say something is good or bad if we can't find something better or worse, but it is not easy to find analogies. There are certain things which I strongly believe is the right way to do things, which is learnt from all the model essays that could not answer the question which I am thinking about when I wrote the essay. How exactly can I say that A is B by just stating facts. Of course we all do have historical hindsight, but no one can determine what should and should not exist in any generation. Anyway, I am glad that my none of my friends are gonna be staying at home on any day during the EOYs due to the higher papers, and when I can finally throw away my humanities, it would be a more advantageous and easy life for me.

So What?

It been so long that only until this year which I have asked the question so what. I have been very competitive with my personality throughout the years. However, recently when thing don't turn my way despite a significant amount of hard work, the question of "so what?" came in. I do agree that it is totally pointless to excel in school but unable to find a job in the future, but without our grades, we can't possibly get into a good university. This is where the "development" and "consolidation" comes in. In my opinion, consolidation is only needed at the most important times. In other words, to learn to use your knowledge in an exam, which is why I haven't gave a damn about the humanities for quite a long time. There is no reason for me to ace all the exams and forget everything I've learnt soon after. I would rather fail all of them and get one subject mastered (<= already achieved). So now, my next goal is to get 2 subject mastered. I have no idea why but I somehow do well in chemistry although I haven't memorised any concept fully before sitting for the test. Hence, I have decided that I would learn my Chem well too, not saying that I am very interested or anything (like the logical analysis though, but not so sure for organic chem). Back to my point, the question of "So what?" demanded a very important answer from myself - the thing that I really really wanted in life. Even if I had made a great contribution to anything, do I really want that? Looking at all the successful people, I don't even get a slightest bit of inspiration that I should be like them as it is simply not what I want. The idea of HOLYNESS comes in then. It is indeed good not to be so pragmatic, and the emphasis on the inner strength is what most people should consider, and by far the most favorable choice for me. Working in the society is just for one's livelihood. Goals are important in life, but there is rarely a goal that really brings about a difference in life, which is why all my achievement in the past looked so useless right now. I do have to konw my stuff now though, otherwise I would be wasting my time.

Definition please

Very clearly, I have boxed the ironic part for you. Finally, I am posting something fun after a long stream of emo posts. Even the guy who said he "hates people with poor grades" qualify. I think we need to redefine what is good academic results.

n00b people who fail

Well, I am partly regretting that I got into SC1, hoping to have better physics teachers, but unfortunately, those who teach the CSE are failures. I am rather unsatified with my A2 for physics this term, especially when I should be getting my A1. (I never mentioned that I should be getting A1 for the previous terms, I just said that the answer keys are screwed.) I know that my English isn't good, and obviously that led to be losing quite a lot of marks for many explanation questions. However, it's not like I don't understand them, it's just that no one understands my high level of thinking. C'mon, the question was addressing the case of hearing loss among youths and obviously it is an assumption to say that youths play loud music from their MP3 for long periods of time, despite it being the case because it wasn't mentioned in the comprehension. I would believe that those people in Singapore who choose to be a teacher are those who aren't able to get a job without the government (but obviously there are others who are just lazy). My point is: If what you are teaching isn't your area of talent, then don't teach, you won't be respected that way. Physics is a very mathemetical based subject and if physics teachers can't prove their answers with math, anything is just an assumption, no matter how logical it seems. I do believe that teachers ought to show that they possess more knowledge, but showing their superiority to students despite themselves making a mistake is not something that we would want to see them doing. In fact, I was rather pissed of at that big cross on my paper when I actually provided a prove for the increase in lateral displacement of the ray when the angle of incidence increases. Apparently, she viewed it as total crap without using her brain. There are too many times I get pissed off at people who have no brain or people who have brains which do not work properly. This term's physics test is simply another of the countless examples that I've been through and should be tolerated as well. Moreover, taking the holy path requires tolerance for this kind of unjust treatment. However, I really do wonder if such things are still possible when the Europeans countries as well as America has turned this world into a pragmatic country, where there is so much competition, so much work to do that had lead to the loss of many traditional Asian values that had been valued for 5 millenniums. もうこんな事を忍耐することになれた。でも、僕は将来この世界を僕が好きなように変える。そんな人を真っ暗の世界に捨てる。

止んだ

It's a long time since I blogged, which was partly due to the tests and mostly due to the internet connection of the boarding school which fails. However, it's the convenience that is the most important and thus I should just endure it. I've realised that I have lost my target in life, having no goal. Not that I don't really have one, but just that small goals are too insignificant. In other words, I have really thought about my future thoroughly. I don't know why 3 is such a nice number, but I couldn't be bothered a single bit about what I am going to do in the future. Hence, my ace this year is also a bit screwed. I gotten used to it. One year of hard work to accumulate those points, and one year later, everything disappears. (Btw, the subject with the second most number of ace is English) I did feel that getting prizes for math competitions are much more meaningful, but the failure after SMO really made me doubt it's usefulness again. I didn't make much progress in anything this year, which was similar to Sec 1 though, but I probably didn't realise it as I was emoing for most of the year, and everything turned out fine in the end. I wouldn't say that this stop in my life is because I have grown into an age when I slack, but simply because it's Sec 3. C'mon last year's 1.22 was a form of accomplishment, but this year... Even if I've gotton 1.1 (1.0 is impossible for me), it's meaningless to be a Chan Wei and show off, niaoing others for their 2.xx. I do have more important stuff to do this year, compared to the ace. I have no time due to the 2 extra subjects. It's stupid that they can merge humanes ace but not science :O. Btw, ace is meaningless because I won't go further into any topic unless I am interested in it, which is a screwed way that defys the laws of nature. Back to the point, I have no interest in doing business. It's no fun earning money, not that I am saying that other jobs are fun. But imagining yourself idling at home and free money comes in. Very fun! I can't even spend my Saturday properly. I can't go out because it's too time-comsuming, neither can I stay at home because I don't have much work, and stones more than half the day. Well, we probably need to consider one step further now. So what even if I've found a job? Life still has to go on. It doesn't make a difference because I would just depend on it for survival. Why can't just some new school of thought come up to solve all the problems caused by the competition among the different countries. All the Confucious stuff and Taoism can't be applied nowadays (blame the Europeans and Americans for that, they led us here). Time had always been given to me to ponder about all the stuff in the world, but who the hell cares with all the entertainment? They might as well go watch a movie for some "bonding" (I don't really understand the meaning of that). I've wasted quite a lot of my time due to the lack of sleep. If I can get over sleeping problems, then I believe that there would be a higher level of analysis in anything.

This time it's not me

Well, the constant failure this year isn't completely fue to my failing, but due to other factors such as people who want to trouble you. I was really pissed off by the kind of luck that I got at the project day judging. The judge combo was the worst ever combo of all, 2 bitches and one dog. The reason of failing us was the lack of result analysis, and that is definitely not a good reason to fail us. Well, it's indeed more accurate to triplicate experiments for more accuracy, but without the accuracy, the experiments aren't void either. The graph shown wasn't lacking anything too. It was a complete excuse to use such a reason to fail us, and I strongly believe that none of them had done a science project in the past. Zzz, just look at how old they are, SG didn't have so much funding on education 30 years back. Yes, the project has taken up much of my precious time, which could be used to do many other things. However, these pests do not know the hardships of us, and fail us with lame excuses. C'mon, I can come up with so many more if they were doing one.

Really really tired of such a system, which people who possess more knowledge but no brain get to evaluate the quality of others' work. There is no reason for me to emo anymore. It won't get me anywhere, and I would also thus fail as myself. I've realised the importance to change the world, to one which I will no longer be bombarded with crap, but how should I do it, is still a question which I would ponder about.

Rebellion, revolution are caused by the unsatisfactory of people, which only happen once in a while. Life should be peaceful, but it cannot always be, and to prepare for this unsatisfying moment, the world ought to be changed your way. I too feel the powerless feeling, the anger of a weakling, and one day I would grow strong, and defeat the pests that were once "stronger".