Reincarnation

Posting during Geog lesson now because the teacher didn't come and I need something to kill time. Well, I really can't believe that my grades are becoming more extreme (languages are still fine, but the difference in humanities and sciences are showing). I was happy for some time for being the top few in class for Bio and Chem, but after I did the Geog and Physics test, I wasn't even slightly confident that I would not fail. LaLa~ Another weekend of slacking I suppose, after all the tests, and retrain my DotA skills a bit after failing so much, and figuring out the main problem about why I failed. Main thing that I wasn't happy about was that I was despised by JLoh. I just don't see why I am not given a chance to host any Jap students despite my Jap results topping the whole school every year. Sec 4 life has been rather boring until now, because of me. I can't really find something that can continue entertaining me for now. Songs? Books? Does that make a person's life more interesting? Or the super patriotic stuff on all the NCC ppl's blogs? Uh, personally I think achievements and superiority are the foundations of my life, but the constant failing last year somehow hit me hard. I can't ensure that my life would be smooth this year, like all the even years that I have gone through, which were all so fruitful. People has came up with different definitions to how life should be lead, but in the end, it's just another game which we see in computers. Level up, and fight your way through, or you would become inferior and be the slave of others. However, at the rate at which I am going at, it would be rather unlikely that I would be able to outperform others, because there are just so many things that I wouldn't want to self-study because they seem so lame. I've endured through 3 weeks of 20+ ChengYu, 20+ English terms and 2-4 pages of Wolf and Spice per day during the holidays, but none of them can keep me studying other than Math. Aiming higher in life, is it something wrong? Well, I think that there are somethings that I should not be committing to, but although these stuff may seem useless because I can only make one choice of University, at least I could choose if I continue the endless workload which I am subjected to, which would be a lot better than those who got chosen. Quite surprised at how I am still able to maintain my optimism after so much futile efforts, but I don't think I would be able to endure anymore major ones to come. Wishing that I would no longer feel that something is lacking.

从北京而归

离上次写博客至少有一个半月了。没办法，北京不能使用Blogger，就连我的作业也是用Wordpress写的。为了从BSC的朋友们得到一些照片，我不得不注册一个Facebook的帐号，但搞了半个小时后还是没搞清它到底有多少功能。每次一出国，就会感到自己的无知，原来世界是那么的大，有无穷的东西等着我去摸索。生在福中，似乎有一种浪费生命的感觉，消耗着地球上的资源。两个月前，我的想法则完全不同，估计是由于看动漫看得过多而造成的。成就与幸福这两者就不能合为一体吗？在期待着幸福的同时，我发现我真正要的是成就。尽管我多么的想放弃它，最后仍紧握着不松手。但随心所欲是否是正确的呢？

Shanghai Trip

It's officially called a study trip, but not many people actually had such a positive attitude towards solving all the math problems. The only work we had was to translate the question sheet and answer key into English so that the teachers can use them to teach in the future. Besides that, I got 2 Junior High Math Olympiad books1 Jap dictionary (this one own the crap out of all Eng-Jap dictionaries, XP to all suckers who uses Eng-Jap dictionaries)

1 Learn-to-draw-anime-charactersand 1 on 围棋, all of which anyone can hardly find in Singapore. I can't find anything else besides novels and novels and super-chim math taught beyond university in Singapore. In other words, Singapore bookstores really lack variety. However, I couldn't think of anything else to buy besides books, the games didn't really interest me, and I didn't have a chance to go to 电子城 where I could get some electronic devices and computer games, which I think all of us wanted to buy. Well, it doesn't really matter I suppose, I am going to 北京 soon, where I am more familiar with and have a lot more free time to go around and buy stuff, although there might not be many thing that interest me. I am really feeling tired of Singapore right now, because of so many things to care about when I come back, compared to studying Math in 上海. Next year is really coming in no time, and it would be time for hardcore mugging.

It's finally the holidays

It's good that I don't have to be emo anymore, enduring all the pains of scoring C6 for exams and not being shortlisted for stuff. For the time being, I can say that I am carefree, which is in my opinion the highest level which people can achieve in life. I am not saying that working hard is a bad thing, but we always have to remember what we are working for, and not because our ancestors say that we have to work hard. I am rather pleased with myself for cutting down on gaming time, and spending more time to improve on my linguistic skills which really takes time because there is a limit to how much we can remember each day. The only deadline which I have to meet is to improve on my tone quality by Wednesday so that Mononoke would sound better, as it is the only one in which tone quality is of higher priority. Leaving for 上海 then 北京 soon, and I am looking forward to these trips, so much more than going to USA like all my other schoolmates, probably because I am not much affected by westernization I suppose. Hoping to post some pictures soon.

No mood to study

I am messing with my Windows Live Writer right now, finding out how convenient this thing is. The only test which I have to study for is Bio on Thurs. I may be looking through the answer schemes for the IJ comprehension because there are some questions which I found it difficult to express what I am thinking, probably due to the lack of vocabulary. Well, I think part of the blame goes to my primary school teachers, for not teaching some of the commonly used expressions and the grammar associated with them. I do agree that I have mastered the basic grammar well, but too well, to the extent that not even the teachers would care about spotting those errors because there are simply too many scripts to mark and they have finish one script in like 2-3 min I suppose. Look, my class has 34 people. If Longang takes 5 min for one script, he won’t finish marking while his midnight oil last. 12 scripts takes an hour, 34 scripts takes 2 hours and 50min. 3 of such classes would take about one day of work. After adding comprehension would be enough to kill him. Hence, I really need some vocabulary to replace all the weird expressions that I have. Chinese test has a lame marking scheme, which perfectly explains why I shouldn’t care about studying. I have inferential skills that are much stronger than the teacher I suppose, and what seems obvious to me doesn’t seem obvious to the teachers. Math is a subject where I apply my knowledge for the higher paper. So the only one left is Bio. I do think that I can try Caleb’s technique of spamming twice the number of lines given and have a cross with every tick. A full mark is given anyway (although the concept is wrong), and I feel that the teachers should really give discredit to these kind of stuff. But since it’s required of an examination, I think I’ll just follow suit. There are 4 more topics left for me to revise, and I think I can go through one topic thoroughly each day until then.

I think I am rather screwed

It's been a week since exams started, and I feel really screwed, mainly because most of the papers are essay-based and I am not good at writing, in any language. Not saying that I couldn't do it, but I only found the key to writing descriptive essay 2 years ago, and got 21 marks for that. However, I couldn't get enough practice before we moved on to exposition. Well, it took me sometime to get used to it too, but what I mainly used in the past was assumed scenarios. It's is rather retarded to quote evidence for every bit of thing you write, and people end up faking statistics during the test. Well, other than that, I got a very fussy Chinese teacher this year, which picks every minor detail in the question regardless of whether it's compre or compo or ACE. I really don't see the point of writing so many meaningless sentences just to DESCRIBE the question again, like what The-SMTP-Thermal-Physics teacher asks us to do. Hence, I have decided to ignore all these requirements of tests since mid-year, to distinguish myself from "examinees". I am still somewhat at risk of not getting 2.0 for this year although I already have 4 A1s. Along with the A2s that I am getting, it is still somewhat difficult just to get a B3 for the subjects which I am really screwed at - English and IH. Good thing is that next week would be rather smooth as there are no essay-based exams anymore. I won't mind losing to people in my class anyway. The same thing happened in Sec 1, when many "examinees" got a better MSG than me, and I shouldn't care about losing another time, especially when this years MSG does bring about any benefits. Progress, has been my goal since the beginning of the year, and the difference would show in the future. Probably got affected by the people around me :). Well, good luck to you too for your exams.

No more exemptions for u guys

I am rather happy that I got exempted for 2 subjects. Max is 6 and many of my ex-classmates who got 5 exemptions last year drop to 4 or even 2 (I am niaoing CW of course). Serves those IH losers right! IH is another subject that is really damn pathetic. You have to write according to the teachers' expectations. In IHC, it is alright that the evaluation of sources have certain expectations because it is important to state clearly about what you are writing. However, plainly spamming facts in the essay is considered as explaining? Of course writing another line "Hence, we can see that A(noun) is B(adjective)" is really quite useless, but most adjectives co-exist, which brings in the importance of analogy in essays. It is impossible to say something is good or bad if we can't find something better or worse, but it is not easy to find analogies. There are certain things which I strongly believe is the right way to do things, which is learnt from all the model essays that could not answer the question which I am thinking about when I wrote the essay. How exactly can I say that A is B by just stating facts. Of course we all do have historical hindsight, but no one can determine what should and should not exist in any generation. Anyway, I am glad that my none of my friends are gonna be staying at home on any day during the EOYs due to the higher papers, and when I can finally throw away my humanities, it would be a more advantageous and easy life for me.

So What?

It been so long that only until this year which I have asked the question so what. I have been very competitive with my personality throughout the years. However, recently when thing don't turn my way despite a significant amount of hard work, the question of "so what?" came in. I do agree that it is totally pointless to excel in school but unable to find a job in the future, but without our grades, we can't possibly get into a good university. This is where the "development" and "consolidation" comes in. In my opinion, consolidation is only needed at the most important times. In other words, to learn to use your knowledge in an exam, which is why I haven't gave a damn about the humanities for quite a long time. There is no reason for me to ace all the exams and forget everything I've learnt soon after. I would rather fail all of them and get one subject mastered (<= already achieved). So now, my next goal is to get 2 subject mastered. I have no idea why but I somehow do well in chemistry although I haven't memorised any concept fully before sitting for the test. Hence, I have decided that I would learn my Chem well too, not saying that I am very interested or anything (like the logical analysis though, but not so sure for organic chem). Back to my point, the question of "So what?" demanded a very important answer from myself - the thing that I really really wanted in life. Even if I had made a great contribution to anything, do I really want that? Looking at all the successful people, I don't even get a slightest bit of inspiration that I should be like them as it is simply not what I want. The idea of HOLYNESS comes in then. It is indeed good not to be so pragmatic, and the emphasis on the inner strength is what most people should consider, and by far the most favorable choice for me. Working in the society is just for one's livelihood. Goals are important in life, but there is rarely a goal that really brings about a difference in life, which is why all my achievement in the past looked so useless right now. I do have to konw my stuff now though, otherwise I would be wasting my time.

Definition please

Very clearly, I have boxed the ironic part for you. Finally, I am posting something fun after a long stream of emo posts. Even the guy who said he "hates people with poor grades" qualify. I think we need to redefine what is good academic results.

n00b people who fail

Well, I am partly regretting that I got into SC1, hoping to have better physics teachers, but unfortunately, those who teach the CSE are failures. I am rather unsatified with my A2 for physics this term, especially when I should be getting my A1. (I never mentioned that I should be getting A1 for the previous terms, I just said that the answer keys are screwed.) I know that my English isn't good, and obviously that led to be losing quite a lot of marks for many explanation questions. However, it's not like I don't understand them, it's just that no one understands my high level of thinking. C'mon, the question was addressing the case of hearing loss among youths and obviously it is an assumption to say that youths play loud music from their MP3 for long periods of time, despite it being the case because it wasn't mentioned in the comprehension. I would believe that those people in Singapore who choose to be a teacher are those who aren't able to get a job without the government (but obviously there are others who are just lazy). My point is: If what you are teaching isn't your area of talent, then don't teach, you won't be respected that way. Physics is a very mathemetical based subject and if physics teachers can't prove their answers with math, anything is just an assumption, no matter how logical it seems. I do believe that teachers ought to show that they possess more knowledge, but showing their superiority to students despite themselves making a mistake is not something that we would want to see them doing. In fact, I was rather pissed of at that big cross on my paper when I actually provided a prove for the increase in lateral displacement of the ray when the angle of incidence increases. Apparently, she viewed it as total crap without using her brain. There are too many times I get pissed off at people who have no brain or people who have brains which do not work properly. This term's physics test is simply another of the countless examples that I've been through and should be tolerated as well. Moreover, taking the holy path requires tolerance for this kind of unjust treatment. However, I really do wonder if such things are still possible when the Europeans countries as well as America has turned this world into a pragmatic country, where there is so much competition, so much work to do that had lead to the loss of many traditional Asian values that had been valued for 5 millenniums. もうこんな事を忍耐することになれた。でも、僕は将来この世界を僕が好きなように変える。そんな人を真っ暗の世界に捨てる。