Regretting that I went early

I was at band camp for the past few days and obviously I didn't like it. Not talking about the food or the rules, just didn't like the cover up for the lack of programmes. Although it's a common problem to face a lack of programmes since the duration is decided before the schedule. However, anyone looking at the programmes would find it similar to Animal Farm. Morning: Band Practice, Afternoon: Free time, Evening: Sectionals. Seems alright at first sight, but what I want to talk about is the middle part. It's free time, but you should have sectionals. Not saying that there would be any penalty if you didn't, but of course the peer pressure that is present is the most important factor of all. Therefore, no one dared to slack off. For those of you who read Animal Farm, you should remember the officially called "Voluntary work" on Sunday, but if you don't work, you don't eat. However, this is a slightly different situation. As I've said earlier, there is only peer pressure that is present. However, peer pressure is not something which you can measure. Therefore, it would not be obvious whether you would have made any sacrifices for slacking off, especially in the modern society which is governed by law. Thus, Jia Sheng can say that we were given nice choices on how to use our time (e.g. go for an outing, movie, LAN etc.), but we simply were too enthusiastic. However, I doubt that he had actually planned all this. So are things born this way? The most common method to counter all these miseries is not to go for the camp, but attendance is important (there's attendance?). I actually went because DM said it was the fun type of camp (agreed, very slacking attitude indeed), but very boring (get a life please, no one can stand doing the same thing over and over again for one whole day). I too was given a chance to go later, but somehow I didn't. Not saying that there aren't other methods to counter, but I would say that the materials needed aren't ready.

Boredom

It's hard to be a loner you know. I've been feeling rather lonely since the holidays started, so wanting to talk to someone or go out a little bit. However, due to my hatred for crowded places and my weird complex, I want to go home the moment I see someone I don't know. Therefore, I always stayed at home. At home, the only source of entertainment was the computer (channel 5 and 8 only have noobshit shows), which I use to play DotA and watch anime. By the way, I've stopped watching ハヤテのごとく, reason being the absence of relationship between the episodes. In the meantime, I've finished 2 other animes and is currently watching Elfen Lied (The first anime which I couldn't find on any chinese video sharing sites. The most simple and straight forward reason would be because the anime contained too much H, and if you look at the introduction on 百度 and Wikipedia, you would notice that Wikipedia sounded much more positive than 百度. If you simply watched the beginning of the story, then you would most likely say that it sucked, but the middle part was rather meaningful. However, there is something I agree with 百度, which is the introduction of characters which get killed soon after they get brought into the story, which is one thing the 漫画家 did to sell more paper I suppose. However, what was more weird was that the anime had all these 废 parts as well, but did not really follow closely with the manga. Of course part of it was to hide some H, but they could have put in more meaningful stuff like showing more of 耕太's anxiety when Nyuu went missing and not making it seem like 耕太 found her immediately after.), which would last me for at most 2 more days, then I will continue clearing my long list of anime waiting to be watched. Good thing there's band prac tomorrow, not saying that I like it very much, but having a change is important.

JLPT tomorrow

From the beginning of the holidays till now, I haven't revised much for this test other than reading 7 pages of my "狼と香辛料". Good news is I can remember about 60% of the words I learnt from that book, and bad news is: I am reading too slowly. How am I supposed to read fast if I only do when there is no band prac or school stuff? Recently, my Japanese haven't been improving as fast as it was during the June holidays, maybe because I grew more comfortable with the major slacking before the EOY exams. To be honest, I would say that I may be the only one that actually bothers to study at home, where as others simply slack or do what they like with what they have (If you don't understand what I mean, your literature is a failure. And if you are thinking that my lit is nothing better, is because the problem lies with my writing skills, not my comprehension skills), therefore still allowing me to remain dominant. However, what is the point of a veteran owning noobs? He still dies when he meets and elite. You look at the strongest chess players or the best sportsmen, their opponent aren't any weaker, it's just that because of that slightest bit of coincidence which allowed them to win. Half a year ago I was amazed by the J2 senior who survived through 6 years of 3rd Lang (though I think that his 3rd lang results may not be that good due to the scarce number of people that are actually still surviving), but now, it seems that there aren't much things that actually inspire me to become better because of the lack of a challenge. If you doubt what I say, go look at the online games people play. A very simple example would be Maple. The pro gamers tell you that it's a game for babies, but look at the number of people playing! Why? Because there is a challenge! Some people tell me that they have to play comp for the whole holiday just because they do not want to be outleveled by their friends. (-.-"') So basically, the presence of a challenge is very important. Until now, my parents are still bloody worried that I would screw up the test. (Are they still not confident enough just by seeing the overpwnage EOY overall which I got?) But honestly, if I screw up the test, it would a real waste of time and effort.

Waking Up or still in Wonderland?

Well, it's not really a matter of whether I am awake or not, but I feel that this reminder had given me a better understanding of the current circumstances. The concert was yesterday, personally I think we did alright, but well, some people weren't happy. Looking at the easy pieces we played (we just had a lot of off-beats), it just wasn't enough. I know we rehearsed many times, but we are just too shy (ignoring that fact that we only got like 2/3 of the people) and the song turned out to be very soft (but good :) ). Still, at the end of the day, we sucked. I know that the SC also told us that we were alright, but somehow only the nasty stuff went into my head. "You were not together..." and other stuff, but I would also say that part of it was because we were not used to the way the Assistant conductor conducts. Personally I think that the concert is somehow used to flame us. I was also told that this was chapter one only, and I was thinking of it as 2 or 3 then but realised that it was only the prolouge. There would be many stuff waiting for me when school reopens (CSE, SIMO, MOP, SMP, 3rd Lang). Simply these 5 are enough to kill me, which means there would be some sacrifice, but no, there wouldn't be.

Band Test

Sadly, next year is Indoor SYF, so got new policy again, which is those who don't pass the test would be put on probation, one thing is because we don't need so many people now and there are some who are pulling the whole band behind. So the thing is, why the hell did Doggy Chen put so many people in band in the first place? Not everyone is so free to spare 3 afternoons to come for EP3 you know? Yet they are saying that we are gonna participate in Display Category in 2010. Now we should have about 60 people, but then Leng wants to cut half of the people. First thought would be you are only on probation if you don't pass. But think harder, and you find too many in one section drowns the rest. So basically if one section gets chopped into half, all the others would suffer too. Yes so basically everyone must pass, which should be rather likely, though I don't know how the hell is the string bass is gonna be tested on articulation and how Shuin Hern is gonna pass his theory if he is going for some NYGH thing in the evening, and honestly I haven't even revised on any of the minor scales yet or went to wiki to read up on my instrument. I do have a nice idea though, if they are gonna put people on probation if they don't pass, then they might as well make it so that it is 100% probation (you don't have to come until further notice) and allow those to have their time put to better use. Hopefully I pass tomorrow, though personally I don't have any confidence in doing so because last year I barely did ( though I crapped the whole thing).

Class Chalet

I personally think that the chalet was totally screwed. We only planned for the barbecue... With FT starting the fire??? You sure??? We had to resort to Pokemon cards and Xbox 360 to entertain ourselves, some had to go LAN. I must admit that those who went LAN on Tuesday were indeed kind enough to let the other few have the Xbox to themselves, although nothing was fun to me other than Halo (damn dizzy). On the 3rd day, when we thought that we had to check out, the person at the reception told us we had one more night!!! If everyone had like 15 bucks then we would have wanted to stay one more day, but Wenqi and CW only had 2 bucks left... A bit can stay... So some left I think, and others stayed till the evening. The only thing I gained was how to use Clockwerk Golbin, and some more "bonding" (it's in inverted commas because it's the original meaning which is used less often). Sadly, I really felt that it's difficult to part this time, compared to the one in P6. Reason being the annoying people are those whom we target when we make jokes, and there weren't these people whom I hated. I've got this feeling that something is missing when I have a lighter bag, and often find missing and extra things in that bag when I arrive at school. The last moment of joy... seemed so sorrowful.

Back!

Phew! After 5 days of being barbaric, I finally returned to the civilized society that we are currently living in. OBS was damn tiring, though I must admit that it was rather meaningful because there was this sense of accomplishment. There were many fun things too, but I don't want to talk about them because they would make OBS sound fun... (not fun!) I received my results on Friday and somehow got an MSG of 1.22, with English A1??? Though I personally agree that my English standard is not good, there is this system of ACE (not really grateful to it since everyone's got 15 ACE) and OP that I must thank. For some strange reason, I never speak up during Math and Science classes, and a lot during language classes, thus maxing my language OP... Furthermore, my English was about 74.3, but the integer system rounded it up... The 1.22 were part of the foreseen "unforeseen" circumstances, but I was thinking that Jap would not be counted and IH of B3 with Chinese A2. However, it just turned out all right. After that was DotA for me, some game that I have been sucking at for 2 months and finally learned how to use DK! It's class chalet next. I would post more then... Oh yeah, it's already the end of the year and I would have to say goodbye to about half of my class (Expecting most to go to SMTP science), hopefully next year I can be more like a robot.

Well...

What a long time since the last post, but I am posting again. First thing I would like to say is, "I have failed, in many aspects." The first blow came during the release of the IH results. Ahh! Another crapping paper which I couldn't score well because my crap wasn't the crap that the Geog teachers wanted and another History paper of great value which I have once again screwed up the comparison question between Source B and Source C. To be honest, my first attempt without the SBQ guidelines was much better as compared to the answers I wrote after reading those guidelines. Is it true that though guidelines are meant to guide people, they may ruin the natural talent that is present in each and everyone, by causing a misconception that there is only one way to do something? Anyway, I only got 68.5 for my IH. The second blow: Lit. Ahh! Who moderated my LotF??? From 22 to 19... although I do admit the second part was partially crapped due to the lack of time, resulting in me getting 50/75 for my Lit. Last blow, though may not be obvious in any way, I only got 91.4 for my Jap. WTF!!! There were so many careless mistakes and I didn't read the questions properly for the listening exam. Although I would say that this year's main goal is to get into CSE, I am not aiming to get 1.0 with A1s that are scraped, but 1.44 with ownage A1s and rightful A2s. However, it is just foolish to be pushing up the top end which is almost impossible to push up much further, but it is perfection that I seek, which is unlikely due to the amount of careless mistakes I am making. To be honest, I am not really happy with the MSG of 1.33, because I still got A1 for Chinese, which I screwed up the Paper 1, and A2 for IH, which should have been a rightful A1 due to the quality that I always tried to give. Until now, I haven't realized that it has all ended, still being a little frustrated with it while returning to the virtual world at the same time. I started watching ハヤテのごとく today, which although doesn't allow me to feel the bliss that I have experienced during SHUFFLE! and Prism Ark, portrays the happiness of human beings when we work hard and strive for a better world. Don't expect me to post anymore in a week, I would be enjoying my anime. さよなら！

Tolerance

Today is really a bad day, and it all started this morning when I got fined for talking. I didn't know how the hell the DM remembered it but he just did, after such a long time. To be more specific I was fined for talking during the exchange with Foon Yew. Not saying that I simply forgot about everything because it was an exchange, but I simply felt that it was our job to make the guests feel welcomed, and more speech means a more meaningful experience. However, the DM doesn't seem to share the same point of view. I would half-heartedly agree that we are showing an example of a good band, but at the same time, we are hosting an exchange. Regardless of the situation, it is impolite to ignore anyone speaking to you. Thus, it is regarded as a lame reason, and the DM is simply looking for trouble.

It was about 12 when I received my exemption letter, and guess what? I didn't get exempted for Science! Wow! That's like so retarded, when I A1ed all the tests and should have maxed my ACE but the teachers owe me. Which caused my score to be 78.8 which is 2 marks away from 80, and to the extent that without the 2 marks I only need a score of 68 to get A1 for the overall grade. Is that hard??? No! Not even the slightest bit, but ridiculous to the extent that it seemed more likely for my name to be missed out.

Of course, it is difficult to endure this kind of emotional trauma. Considering that I had to be punished later, I simply accepted ZhouMY's offer to go KAP together, although it is not right to vent my anger on the ABM (though it's a 废 position). However, it's not my problem anyway, other than maybe I should just get punished another day or simply regard it as something optional.

Luckily, I forgot about almost everything after my lunch, as was feeling better. However, I still have to forget about the LSS thing because the thought of it makes me feel weak.

The results

The result of my exposition wasn't satisfying. Without looking at the marking system and using the top scorers' results as a comparison, I would say that I had been mistreated. Supposing that 30 means perfect, which means that one has stated his points clearly and supported his argument well, those who scored 23 would thus be considered far from that. Looking the few grammar errors on my 570 word essay, which is not enough to show why I actually scored so low as compared to the rest of the class. Regarding what is missing in the text, which includes one "little vague" and two "exp."s, I might feel that the score was reasonable. However, there is no reason for the full mark to be there just to make sure that no one scores a 100% and usage of bombastic language is not required, thus giving more room for the mistakes I made. One of the "exp."s is written at the end of a paragraph, basically marking that I did not explain my explanation that explained an example. Regardless of whatever explanation is missing, sometimes common sense tells you that if I had to explain my explanation again, I would have to explain that explanation again and so on and so for, which means that there is no end to the essay, which is thus impossible to be achieved and is implying that no matter how much you write, you would end up with an "exp." there. Furthermore, there is no right or wrong in language, and the few ticks without comments simply mean meeting expectations, and thus do not contribute anything to the deduction of marks. So why did I get such a low score? I believe that there is no reason behind it, and people simply use the benefit of the doubt, causing others having no way of rebutting.