Promos

The atmosphere is just not right for me to be preparing for Promos. In high school, your CCA, project and wtv crap which you have will always be suspended before your EOYs, but my mind is currently filled with PW, ONLY. It's one thing which I really have to put an effort into. Firstly, There's not reason for me to take a H3 without getting A for PW. It doesn't serve the purpose of taking an extra subject for an A by sacrificing one of the subjects which you can POTENTIALLY get A for. The next thing is Chemistry Olympiad. It simply doesn't make sense attending so many trainings when you can get gold as long as you put in enough effort (quite different from Math-O). Having only 2 months away from the competition, I am really trying to catch up with what I've been missing out on. Thus, I'm 100% not in the mood to study for Promos, while people like AngRY has started disseminating notes already. Well, I really do appreciate the efforts of such people, doing stuff for the common good. However, I usually do not utilize these stuff efficiently. Cao Yu was kind enough to share his GEOGRAPHY notes with me but the only way it helped me was providing me with one line of information which I needed for my "revision". Well, I had indeed revised, but I just didn't have the right method to score well for Geography. What we truly need is the tips from those people who score A. This is kinda analagous to how the bridge club works. The seniors have realised that it's no use for them to teach me skills in bridge. I don't like spending CCA time learning bridge and neither do I like learning sciences at someone elses pace. It's about passing down the passion which they have for bridge, so that we can learn by ourselves with that passion. Thus, back to my point, it's no use spamming students with content (this is not true for bio as it is indeed the correct method to tackle bio tests), which is what the tutors have been doing right now. The first thing I need is a speed-boost in writing. Hence, I would say that the effort to share notes is futile, and also why I never make my own. To think of it, I still have to agree with 中国高中之王牌——题海战术. It's the best way of tackling questions as it help one to apply his/her knowledge in exams (not in real life of course). However, I currently have no time for that. I can only hope for people to start revision later so that I do not feel so inferior. It's usually like that before the exam, like how I didn't study for Physics block test.

Gossip

Just some gossip from 小学生 (“小”指个子小). Today our Faculty Radical was supervising us during some event from 3-4pm. Well, I was vigilant enough not to screw around with him again. At least not when my testimonial is still at stake. (I would gladly do so after the deadline to key in demerit points is over.) So this was what happened. He was ogling at some girl in 小学生's class, even when she went to the toilet (WTF?!!). Thus, being 小学生 and not vigilant, he got spotted immediately when he tried to talk to her. =.= Shows how perverted and radical the Radical is.

Blank

今天走进了一电梯的美女，但由于刚退烧，所以脑袋一片空白。

Sexism

是履行我星期五做出的承诺的时候了。说道性别歧视，我认为向新加坡这样的现代社会，似乎已经把雄性看作更贱的性别。当天，在会堂举行教师节庆祝典礼的时候，因座位不够而让所有男同学把座位让给女同学。这就是当今社会的性别歧视。性别平等，就是不分贵贱，而当天那位司仪所说的话，却没有做到这一点。当今社会追求性别平等，就不应该将西方旧社会的习俗灌输入我们的脑海之中。可是，在无意之中，我们虽然抛弃了东方旧社会的思想，却继承了西方文化的糟粕。我认为，校方应该加以反省，舍去这种落后的思想。

Blog

I suppose some people were waiting for this. Fan Yi just told me some stuff on Monday. One confirmed my initial hypothesis, the other was regarding something else, which was like a "Welcome to Reality" kinda thing. Well, I was a little shocked but it didn't affect me for long so I shan't elaborate on it. The former is what I would like to talk about. Indeed, guys are lustful creatures (not so sure about girls though), but I've always felt that it was more important to value brotherhood than a potential life partner. Well, at least that was what I learnt in High School, when some trainer for a thing called ELP told us that he never regarded those people he hanged out with at Serene Centre as friends. Even Shells says that we should have more friends, although she agrees with the ideology of "同性相残，异性相惜". However, some dude changed my idea about him. Well, I shouldn't be too critical of him as he say it openly, which probably shows that he is in doubt, but I think it is wrong to even suspect so. (Maybe that's just because I haven't gotten into the situation of liking the same girl as a close friend, but I think I would take a more passive approach to the situation.) That's why people say that it is not good to think too much about something, and believing in your own hypotheses when they are not likely to be true. Without an inclination to believe such, one would try to observe and prove his hypothesis wrong rather than doing the opposite. I really hope that the party involved would come back to his senses.

For H1 Jap today, I suppose the test wasn't that bad (Can't be worse compared to the previous paper), but there could have been some improvement if I made an effort to study this year.

第一幕

性格与道德的争执

More reflections

Today, I met another guy who preaches about Christianity. Well, although it took up quite a bit of my time. I've decided to listen to him as I felt that there were some parts which were rather inspirational. Well, one thing which I didn't like is that he assumed that those who do not believe in God are atheists. However, he didn't know that I was listening to him because I was open. Personally, I chose not to believe in Christianity because I've never met God. I did exactly the thing he requested me to do -- allow God to speak to me, but it didn't have the same effect on me as Christians. This kinda reminded me about one of my distant relatives who watched Journey to the West drama series till the point that he believed that he can summon the somersault cloud, and ended up breaking one of his legs after jumping off the roof. I also thought about the case, not sure when, of a kid persuading all his friends into suiciding with him. It just shows how believing in something can work aganist you. If I were born in a poor African country, I really don't see how Christianity can help me solve my problems of survival, and if He didn't adopt pragmatism, I don't see how Singaporeans can survive till today. After pondering about the purpose of life for sometime, I came to the simple conclusion that life is just about enjoyment, which is the same as the conclusion which those professors who debated over the bible came to, except that there was this extra bit of glorifying God, which I do not believe in. However, his words did gave me a better understanding of "God". As someone who hasn't met God, I would conclude that the existence of God is one's intuition and love for himself and the world. I cannot feel the love of God, neither can I hear him (supposing he existed of course), but I know that I feel uneasy doing something aganist my conscience. The bit about God's love would be to love yourself and stay optimistic, otherwise I do not see it's purpose in my life. All in all, I would still say that the chat was rather inspirational, it kinda confirmed my stand that God doesn't not exist based on my own knowledge. As a true free-thinker (I truly agree with him that atheists aren't free thinkers), I would have to prove that I can remain happy without God. However, I would have to think about how that can be done.

Reflections

After having a smooth 6 months of JC life, I've finally came to the worst phase of JC - J1 Term 3. It really makes me depressed to the point that I have to agree with Si Hui's ideology of "life sucks". Firstly, it's PW. I always liked the idea of no pain, no gain, but not the idea of having pain yet no gain. It just screws my life up and I don't feel as if I've improved myself. However, I feel very guilty for not doing work that is supposed to be done. Next is H1 Jap, I never found myself spending so much time on this. The point is, the stupid oral presentation thing has very weird requirements. I've already written my 4th draft but it isn't close to perfect yet. (I bet the Half-Jap peeps in H2 are suffering too) The last thing is that I haven't got to watch Harry Potter. Many of my friends watched it already, but I haven't got to watch it because I'm busy and my close friends are busy too. I've also been kinda isolated from social interactions lately due to these assignments that can never be completed due to some retarded requirements. I know that people are going through this phase of life together with me, but the reality is, to survive, you only have yourself.

Filler

I'm here to fill this place with more posts. Well, it has been rather tiring recently, but not to the point which I will get emo, so I didn't need to post a lot here. Blocks was rather smooth (I got my usually As and I've no idea what's gonna happen to my Ds). I've also been watching a little of 君に届け 2nd season, and I really have to say that it's the least brainless Shoujo anime I've watched so far. (I haven't survived for more than 3 episodes in the past) The very interesting thing is that the anime has portrayed the Asian mindset to love rather clearly. (I'm now wondering whether I still have a crush) One would choose to observe the other party from afar rather than using any form of direct approach. I shall probably watching later as a form of consolation for today. Everyone went to watch Harry Potter and I'm kinda stuck at the 3rd lang center practising Japanese (not really learning much stuff). The school is retarded to put the half day today. I've no idea how many of my classmates are doing their Physics AA/Go for Chinese Oral/Misc. School-related stuff. Well, I should probably say that this term isn't a term for relaxing as I'm already seeing the workload piled ahead of me which would "entertain" me for the rest of the term. Simply hoping that there would be some chalets/outings after promos to make up for these hard times as a student.

Hunger for success

I've never tasted failure as much as this year. There are just so many things that you can sign up for, and just not get shortlisted because you are not so fortunate. (Well, I choose to put it this way because I do not see how others are more worthy of being selected) To make it worse, I didn't get into 2nd round for SMO. To look on the bright side, I'm probably getting silver again this year, but it still bothers me. I suppose it's because there wasn't any reason for me not to get in, but I failed due to carelessness. It's probably because I've lost my vigilance this year, by believing that the answer is correct rather than checking through my workings. However, by being vigilant, I also prevent myself from discovering other things. It's just like a bidding during bridge, where being paranoid over something that's been proven true would fill your brain with suspicion such that there maybe other factors which you forgot to consider. Such conflicting factors, which you do not always apply suitably, is probably what's causing me to feel so sad. It's like things are all within my capability, but I simply didn't see the right method quickly. Now the only thing that I can possibly do is to look forward to next year after half a year of wandering about finding the right things to do in JC.