It's only now that I've realised the beauty of the lyrics of 君の知らない物語. I guess anime's probably the reason why I'm always so dreamy. Just a little sharing. Unfortunately, there is no star to see in the Singaporean night sky.

抑えられた感情、言えない言葉。

Randomness

Somehow, in the midst of watching 神様のメモ帳, I realised that I'm slight loli.

快乐

这两天又看到同学在Facebook上emo了。的确，无知为乐。可是，被迫当精英的同学们，已经做出了选择，无法再享受无知之乐。我想，虽然我不是很快乐，但我不为生活艰难（以及没有女朋友）而难过。即使没有人与我聊天，我也会感到愉快。人嘛，要懂得欣赏。难过的时候，就想想那些歌手美妙的歌声，或那黑暗的夜空，想到宇宙、自然。有时候，也要思考为什么自己会难过，找不到理由，自然就不难过了。我想，心情在多数情况下还是由自己决定的。

Previous Goals

Maybe it's time to start talking about the stuff which I thought about at the start of the year again. To think of it, I've learnt stuff with simply thoughts running through my head, and I've decided to put somethings aside as I carried on with life. But as I approach the end of the year, that atmosphere is back, with new bridges built and someone regretting missing his opportunity. As an INTJ myself, I've realised that I can only interact well with people who have 3 similar letters as me. I didn't study Japanese because I was enthusiastic about learning another language, but because the friends at Jap classes were the ones that I could interact well with. Even if we were to emo at one table at 日本語で遊ぼう about how life sucks, it's still a form of interaction which got me involved. Such a form of involvement was never experienced my me in a school class, which was why I continued Japanese until Sec 4. However, in J1, I didn't really get a great teacher like those who taught me for the previous 4 years, and gradually lost interest in attending the lessons. (Won't expect much of H2 as the teacher's crazy.) So back to my point. While the seniors were commenting how how stringent KSJ's criteria was, I would say that mine is no less, but different of course. Being an idealist, it would be almost impossible for anyone to fulfill my criteria.

人生

今年快要结束了。我并没有在这一年内更深刻的了解人生，毕竟自己做的每一件事，都符合我生活中的原则。回想一下，虽然有些目标没有达成，但总体上来讲还过得去。台上一分钟，台下十年功。我既然没有付出太大的努力，我就无资格抱怨。今天，化学奥林匹克竞赛的名单被公布了。那些没被录取的同学的遭遇实在是可悲。一年的心血，就这样白费了。这些与我一起上了这么多堂课的同学们，个个都是理想主义者，为了挑战自己而在年初参加竞赛。可是，某些勤奋拼搏到现在的同学们，仍然逃不过教育部的精英主义，在各种情况下都要进行筛选，甚至是随机筛选。在我的生活中，我时时刻刻的感到了身为弱者的无奈。你的命，就在别人的掌控之中，随时都可以被夺去。可是，成为强者也不是毫无代价的。我想，有些委屈值得承受，因为只有从自己对生活中的种种不满，才能摸索出自己人生的原则。

绝望

今去某些人的博客看了一下。发现原来大家与我一样，都有对生活的种种不满。我承认我没有为升级考试做太多的准备，但我认为生活中有更好的东西值得我们追求。对于胜者来说，幸福或许就真是那胜利，但身为某时候的败者，我必须懂得哲学，追求更高境界的满足感。可是，别人似乎不太赞同我对生活的观点。在这个精英体制下，我忙碌了这么多年，终于发现，是离开的时候了。参加了一天的日语活动，视野也就变得更加广阔。我没有必要与他人竞争，这是儒家的短见。竞争，目的是为了选出最优秀的人才。可是，过度竞争，会浪费大量的资源以及形成今天这样的精英体制。圣人之道，才是我应该选择的道路。