Hunger for success

I've never tasted failure as much as this year. There are just so many things that you can sign up for, and just not get shortlisted because you are not so fortunate. (Well, I choose to put it this way because I do not see how others are more worthy of being selected) To make it worse, I didn't get into 2nd round for SMO. To look on the bright side, I'm probably getting silver again this year, but it still bothers me. I suppose it's because there wasn't any reason for me not to get in, but I failed due to carelessness. It's probably because I've lost my vigilance this year, by believing that the answer is correct rather than checking through my workings. However, by being vigilant, I also prevent myself from discovering other things. It's just like a bidding during bridge, where being paranoid over something that's been proven true would fill your brain with suspicion such that there maybe other factors which you forgot to consider. Such conflicting factors, which you do not always apply suitably, is probably what's causing me to feel so sad. It's like things are all within my capability, but I simply didn't see the right method quickly. Now the only thing that I can possibly do is to look forward to next year after half a year of wandering about finding the right things to do in JC.