A never-ending loop that drives you insane...

2012-01-23T10:54:00.000+08:00

Somehow feeling deprived.

2011-12-09T20:36:00.002+08:00

是否又过于脱离现实了？总觉得自己的生活中缺少了什么。

Thoughts

2011-12-06T23:46:00.002+08:00

Just wondering... What do I really want in life? Being unsatisfied with my life for no reason isn't something of my interest either.

2011-11-20T19:26:00.003+08:00

It's only now that I've realised the beauty of the lyrics of 君の知らない物語. I guess anime's probably the reason why I'm always so dreamy. Just a little sharing. Unfortunately, there is no star to see in the Singaporean night sky.

2011-11-19T12:23:00.001+08:00

抑えられた感情、言えない言葉。

Randomness

2011-11-12T01:27:00.002+08:00

Somehow, in the midst of watching 神様のメモ帳, I realised that I'm slight loli.

快乐

2011-11-09T20:28:00.002+08:00

这两天又看到同学在Facebook上emo了。的确，无知为乐。可是，被迫当精英的同学们，已经做出了选择，无法再享受无知之乐。我想，虽然我不是很快乐，但我不为生活艰难（以及没有女朋友）而难过。即使没有人与我聊天，我也会感到愉快。人嘛，要懂得欣赏。难过的时候，就想想那些歌手美妙的歌声，或那黑暗的夜空，想到宇宙、自然。有时候，也要思考为什么自己会难过，找不到理由，自然就不难过了。我想，心情在多数情况下还是由自己决定的。

Previous Goals

2011-11-08T22:32:00.003+08:00

Maybe it's time to start talking about the stuff which I thought about at the start of the year again. To think of it, I've learnt stuff with simply thoughts running through my head, and I've decided to put somethings aside as I carried on with life. But as I approach the end of the year, that atmosphere is back, with new bridges built and someone regretting missing his opportunity. As an INTJ myself, I've realised that I can only interact well with people who have 3 similar letters as me. I didn't study Japanese because I was enthusiastic about learning another language, but because the friends at Jap classes were the ones that I could interact well with. Even if we were to emo at one table at 日本語で遊ぼう about how life sucks, it's still a form of interaction which got me involved. Such a form of involvement was never experienced my me in a school class, which was why I continued Japanese until Sec 4. However, in J1, I didn't really get a great teacher like those who taught me for the previous 4 years, and gradually lost interest in attending the lessons. (Won't expect much of H2 as the teacher's crazy.) So back to my point. While the seniors were commenting how how stringent KSJ's criteria was, I would say that mine is no less, but different of course. Being an idealist, it would be almost impossible for anyone to fulfill my criteria.

人生

2011-11-04T21:03:00.002+08:00

今年快要结束了。我并没有在这一年内更深刻的了解人生，毕竟自己做的每一件事，都符合我生活中的原则。回想一下，虽然有些目标没有达成，但总体上来讲还过得去。台上一分钟，台下十年功。我既然没有付出太大的努力，我就无资格抱怨。今天，化学奥林匹克竞赛的名单被公布了。那些没被录取的同学的遭遇实在是可悲。一年的心血，就这样白费了。这些与我一起上了这么多堂课的同学们，个个都是理想主义者，为了挑战自己而在年初参加竞赛。可是，某些勤奋拼搏到现在的同学们，仍然逃不过教育部的精英主义，在各种情况下都要进行筛选，甚至是随机筛选。在我的生活中，我时时刻刻的感到了身为弱者的无奈。你的命，就在别人的掌控之中，随时都可以被夺去。可是，成为强者也不是毫无代价的。我想，有些委屈值得承受，因为只有从自己对生活中的种种不满，才能摸索出自己人生的原则。

多虑

2011-10-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

也许是我多心了。这几天，班上的各位都似乎还原了年初的状态。上个月可能由于考试，使得大家都很紧张，把时间放在学业上。而考试已过，又能回到年初那种较悠闲的校园生活。可是，仔细一想，自己身边的好朋友还是那么几个，而他们是与自己一起度过升级考试的，与其他人不同。所以，正如班上的一位学生所说，需要珍惜的，其实只有那么几位朋友。拥有博客或许对自己来说是一件好事。以自己的性格，有许多事情在现实生活中是说不出口的。博客，则成为与某些人的交流方式。这几天，我才发现原来有许多人守候着我，阅读我对生活的种种不满。我想，这也许可以作为一个起点，使朋友之间的友谊更真实。

More inspiration

2011-10-17T20:35:00.003+08:00

It feels kinda stupid when you tell someone that you're blogging, 'cos somehow you have to write something here although you might have changed your mind after you reached home. However, I have some inspirations today. I saw an image by Best Quotes shared by some RI guy on facebook whom I don't even know. Well, I think it's quite a good reflection of how people actually interact nowadays. Perhaps like how I interacted with some girl for the first half of the year until I've decided to talk to her (although it isn't that accurate because we simply have nothing to talk about besides sharing lame stuff online XD). At the same time, I feel rather good that I've made the right decision about something. Back to emoing about my life... This year is the first time which I feel bad after scoring well for each Chem test. You just can't ask anyone for marks and no one tell you anything. Well, I was usually the bottom guy after each Humanities test asking people for their score last year, and those who are weak in the sciences will laugh about their failure with me too. However, this year is different. No one tells you anything, and you have to keep your mouth shut so that you don't offend people. I have to move over to 7B to talk to people like LJ and GC whom don't score too badly and perhaps ask MQ on how well he scored, and back in my class I just don't dare to talk to anyone besides people like 本杰明 and Isaac. This is probably the gap that lies within everyone in class. Back in 4S1, it was a society where everyone was respected for their own specialities, but in my current class, it kinda became a place where people are stuck in their own groups because people simply don't bother to socialise with others. The class doesn't play monodeal, which is why I never bothered to learn, and people simply don't bother to learn slightly more intellectual games such as floating bridge. (Explains why I'm actually on better terms with some people in other classes.) Another gap. The high productivity at class bench makes it worse. To think of it, SMTP had created an environment which bonded the people whom I can interact with i.e. mostly those who are active on facebook and bothers to play bridge with those in other classes. Not sure about Domo but perhaps him too, although I don't talk to him much. As for the rest, I somehow feel that they are just like dichloromethane and perhaps ethene (if they mix) in a large pool of water and alcohol. Just some thoughts :)

Loneliness

2011-10-16T23:11:00.003+08:00

After one year of craziness (referring to Econs and PW of course), I went for another gathering at a friend's house today. It was kinda similar to my Japanese teacher's experience. During these kinda gatherings, the main aim is to let people socialise and have fun, or possibly, strengthen the bonds between people. However, the truth is that such gatherings are usually not very useful in a sense. Everyone's so nice in my class, but there just isn't anyone whom you can count as a true friend. The experience was totally different from the feeling I got after eating with the people from my Japanese class on Thursday. No one needs any form of entertainment. People just need to sit together and do some lame stuff. I'm not being lame but it's the truth. Even during orientation, with those people whom I thought weren't like me (well there were still people like Slau and Chang Hui), I still had fun each night and didn't want to go home. However, I was kinda dying to go home today, school was just a consideration. I swear that I wouldn't have gone home at 9 if there was a reason for me to stay on, but I somehow felt left out and left. Perhaps, it was simply because there weren't anyone who shared a common language with me. Until now I've only found 2 people, or perhaps 3 to 4, but only 2 people whom I can tell everything to. 新しい親友に会えるように願っている。

人生

2011-10-15T19:51:00.009+08:00

数日前、去年の日本語のクラスメートたちと一緒に夕飯を食べた。そして、彼らは僕にまだ人間であることを思い出させた。僕は一生懸命学校のことに立ち向かっている間、ある人たちはもう恋愛を求め始めた。確かに、僕は一年中、実際的な人たちに囲まれ、自分の未来のことしか考えなかった。そのHPに入った女の子はクラスの男の子を嫌がって、いままで独身だが、彼女は僕が独身である理由がないと思う。確かに、学校のクラスの中の多くの女子はかわいいが、僕は彼女たちにあまり興味がない。皆は忙し過ぎるからだ。そして、授業中の話が少ないこととあいまって、クラスの女子とそんな関係になろうとしても、成功率は低いと思う。今年の三月に、ある女の子にべたぼれだった。そして、時間が経ちながら、僕も自分の愚かさに気づいて、その感情を消そうとした。そして、その経験から成熟になった。恋はドラマの中のようにのんびりでないと悟った。だが、今は自分の未来しか考えなければ本当に成功できるのでしょうか。そうではないと思う。そうしたら、この超エリートのシステムに呑まれている。どうして独身であることに対して、時間がない、仕方ないといつも言うけれど、それは言い訳だけだ。確かに、責任があって、ゆとりがないけど、僕は他の人と違う。僕は不運ではない。知らない女の子と視線が合ったことはなくもない。だが、性格のせいで、名前を聞こうとしなかった。これから、恋の求めに対する態度を変えたほうがいいと思う。

期望

2011-10-05T15:28:00.003+08:00

具有天赋真的是件好事吗？今天的数学升级考试，虽然都有把握得A，但却有一部分的人与我一样，毫无满足感。而当我们为自己的不足而感到不满时，世界上还有另一部分人在为升级而挣扎。也许，我们的不快，是我们的生活环境造成的。当我们达到目标后，总有长辈对我们说：“不能满足于现状，而要更积极，更努力。”这就使得人们总是为一些无意义的事而烦恼。我想在这一点上，学校已经为我们打造了一个能与自我竞争，以及追求爱好的环境。我想，不快的原因可能是今天的表现无法弥补上周五和周一的失败吧。还是知足为乐。

試験

2011-10-03T19:09:00.002+08:00

昨日の努力は無駄になった。経済の試験でいい成績を取るために、僕は夕べ零時を過ぎて復習したんだ。内容だけでなく、問題の答え方も問題集を参考して準備した。でも、今日の試験で出た問題は予想したこととまったく違った。こんな経験は初めてではないけれど、なんとなく前よりもっとがっかりした。学校は僕たちを試験のためによく育てていないと思うのだ。まず、先生たちがくださった資料は試験に全然関係がなかった。例えば、講義16~18は試験の問題の答え方を教えてくれるはずだが、実際に試験の役に立たない。先生は授業中その中の内容を全然使わないのでわかる。そして、今日は変な問題が出て、僕は先生たちがほしい問題に答えない答えはわからないので、試験に落ちた。確かに先生のせいだと思うけど、僕は宿題をやらないので、彼らは反論が十分ある。でも、やり方がわからないと、宿題をするのも無意味だ。試験の後の結論は、僕の勉強し方はまだ正しくないんだ。

Promos

2011-09-17T23:41:00.002+08:00

The atmosphere is just not right for me to be preparing for Promos. In high school, your CCA, project and wtv crap which you have will always be suspended before your EOYs, but my mind is currently filled with PW, ONLY. It's one thing which I really have to put an effort into. Firstly, There's not reason for me to take a H3 without getting A for PW. It doesn't serve the purpose of taking an extra subject for an A by sacrificing one of the subjects which you can POTENTIALLY get A for. The next thing is Chemistry Olympiad. It simply doesn't make sense attending so many trainings when you can get gold as long as you put in enough effort (quite different from Math-O). Having only 2 months away from the competition, I am really trying to catch up with what I've been missing out on. Thus, I'm 100% not in the mood to study for Promos, while people like AngRY has started disseminating notes already. Well, I really do appreciate the efforts of such people, doing stuff for the common good. However, I usually do not utilize these stuff efficiently. Cao Yu was kind enough to share his GEOGRAPHY notes with me but the only way it helped me was providing me with one line of information which I needed for my "revision". Well, I had indeed revised, but I just didn't have the right method to score well for Geography. What we truly need is the tips from those people who score A. This is kinda analagous to how the bridge club works. The seniors have realised that it's no use for them to teach me skills in bridge. I don't like spending CCA time learning bridge and neither do I like learning sciences at someone elses pace. It's about passing down the passion which they have for bridge, so that we can learn by ourselves with that passion. Thus, back to my point, it's no use spamming students with content (this is not true for bio as it is indeed the correct method to tackle bio tests), which is what the tutors have been doing right now. The first thing I need is a speed-boost in writing. Hence, I would say that the effort to share notes is futile, and also why I never make my own. To think of it, I still have to agree with 中国高中之王牌——题海战术. It's the best way of tackling questions as it help one to apply his/her knowledge in exams (not in real life of course). However, I currently have no time for that. I can only hope for people to start revision later so that I do not feel so inferior. It's usually like that before the exam, like how I didn't study for Physics block test.

Gossip

2011-09-16T18:08:00.002+08:00

Just some gossip from 小学生 (“小”指个子小). Today our Faculty Radical was supervising us during some event from 3-4pm. Well, I was vigilant enough not to screw around with him again. At least not when my testimonial is still at stake. (I would gladly do so after the deadline to key in demerit points is over.) So this was what happened. He was ogling at some girl in 小学生's class, even when she went to the toilet (WTF?!!). Thus, being 小学生 and not vigilant, he got spotted immediately when he tried to talk to her. =.= Shows how perverted and radical the Radical is.

Blank

2011-09-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

今天走进了一电梯的美女，但由于刚退烧，所以脑袋一片空白。

Sexism

2011-09-01T22:10:00.003+08:00

是履行我星期五做出的承诺的时候了。说道性别歧视，我认为向新加坡这样的现代社会，似乎已经把雄性看作更贱的性别。当天，在会堂举行教师节庆祝典礼的时候，因座位不够而让所有男同学把座位让给女同学。这就是当今社会的性别歧视。性别平等，就是不分贵贱，而当天那位司仪所说的话，却没有做到这一点。当今社会追求性别平等，就不应该将西方旧社会的习俗灌输入我们的脑海之中。可是，在无意之中，我们虽然抛弃了东方旧社会的思想，却继承了西方文化的糟粕。我认为，校方应该加以反省，舍去这种落后的思想。

Blog

2011-08-25T22:32:00.002+08:00

I suppose some people were waiting for this. Fan Yi just told me some stuff on Monday. One confirmed my initial hypothesis, the other was regarding something else, which was like a "Welcome to Reality" kinda thing. Well, I was a little shocked but it didn't affect me for long so I shan't elaborate on it. The former is what I would like to talk about. Indeed, guys are lustful creatures (not so sure about girls though), but I've always felt that it was more important to value brotherhood than a potential life partner. Well, at least that was what I learnt in High School, when some trainer for a thing called ELP told us that he never regarded those people he hanged out with at Serene Centre as friends. Even Shells says that we should have more friends, although she agrees with the ideology of "同性相残，异性相惜". However, some dude changed my idea about him. Well, I shouldn't be too critical of him as he say it openly, which probably shows that he is in doubt, but I think it is wrong to even suspect so. (Maybe that's just because I haven't gotten into the situation of liking the same girl as a close friend, but I think I would take a more passive approach to the situation.) That's why people say that it is not good to think too much about something, and believing in your own hypotheses when they are not likely to be true. Without an inclination to believe such, one would try to observe and prove his hypothesis wrong rather than doing the opposite. I really hope that the party involved would come back to his senses.

For H1 Jap today, I suppose the test wasn't that bad (Can't be worse compared to the previous paper), but there could have been some improvement if I made an effort to study this year.

第一幕

2011-07-28T23:30:00.001+08:00

性格与道德的争执

More reflections

2011-07-28T22:56:00.002+08:00

Today, I met another guy who preaches about Christianity. Well, although it took up quite a bit of my time. I've decided to listen to him as I felt that there were some parts which were rather inspirational. Well, one thing which I didn't like is that he assumed that those who do not believe in God are atheists. However, he didn't know that I was listening to him because I was open. Personally, I chose not to believe in Christianity because I've never met God. I did exactly the thing he requested me to do -- allow God to speak to me, but it didn't have the same effect on me as Christians. This kinda reminded me about one of my distant relatives who watched Journey to the West drama series till the point that he believed that he can summon the somersault cloud, and ended up breaking one of his legs after jumping off the roof. I also thought about the case, not sure when, of a kid persuading all his friends into suiciding with him. It just shows how believing in something can work aganist you. If I were born in a poor African country, I really don't see how Christianity can help me solve my problems of survival, and if He didn't adopt pragmatism, I don't see how Singaporeans can survive till today. After pondering about the purpose of life for sometime, I came to the simple conclusion that life is just about enjoyment, which is the same as the conclusion which those professors who debated over the bible came to, except that there was this extra bit of glorifying God, which I do not believe in. However, his words did gave me a better understanding of "God". As someone who hasn't met God, I would conclude that the existence of God is one's intuition and love for himself and the world. I cannot feel the love of God, neither can I hear him (supposing he existed of course), but I know that I feel uneasy doing something aganist my conscience. The bit about God's love would be to love yourself and stay optimistic, otherwise I do not see it's purpose in my life. All in all, I would still say that the chat was rather inspirational, it kinda confirmed my stand that God doesn't not exist based on my own knowledge. As a true free-thinker (I truly agree with him that atheists aren't free thinkers), I would have to prove that I can remain happy without God. However, I would have to think about how that can be done.

Reflections

2011-07-24T21:33:00.002+08:00

After having a smooth 6 months of JC life, I've finally came to the worst phase of JC - J1 Term 3. It really makes me depressed to the point that I have to agree with Si Hui's ideology of "life sucks". Firstly, it's PW. I always liked the idea of no pain, no gain, but not the idea of having pain yet no gain. It just screws my life up and I don't feel as if I've improved myself. However, I feel very guilty for not doing work that is supposed to be done. Next is H1 Jap, I never found myself spending so much time on this. The point is, the stupid oral presentation thing has very weird requirements. I've already written my 4th draft but it isn't close to perfect yet. (I bet the Half-Jap peeps in H2 are suffering too) The last thing is that I haven't got to watch Harry Potter. Many of my friends watched it already, but I haven't got to watch it because I'm busy and my close friends are busy too. I've also been kinda isolated from social interactions lately due to these assignments that can never be completed due to some retarded requirements. I know that people are going through this phase of life together with me, but the reality is, to survive, you only have yourself.

Filler

2011-07-14T22:19:00.002+08:00

I'm here to fill this place with more posts. Well, it has been rather tiring recently, but not to the point which I will get emo, so I didn't need to post a lot here. Blocks was rather smooth (I got my usually As and I've no idea what's gonna happen to my Ds). I've also been watching a little of 君に届け 2nd season, and I really have to say that it's the least brainless Shoujo anime I've watched so far. (I haven't survived for more than 3 episodes in the past) The very interesting thing is that the anime has portrayed the Asian mindset to love rather clearly. (I'm now wondering whether I still have a crush) One would choose to observe the other party from afar rather than using any form of direct approach. I shall probably watching later as a form of consolation for today. Everyone went to watch Harry Potter and I'm kinda stuck at the 3rd lang center practising Japanese (not really learning much stuff). The school is retarded to put the half day today. I've no idea how many of my classmates are doing their Physics AA/Go for Chinese Oral/Misc. School-related stuff. Well, I should probably say that this term isn't a term for relaxing as I'm already seeing the workload piled ahead of me which would "entertain" me for the rest of the term. Simply hoping that there would be some chalets/outings after promos to make up for these hard times as a student.

Hunger for success

2011-06-11T21:59:00.003+08:00

I've never tasted failure as much as this year. There are just so many things that you can sign up for, and just not get shortlisted because you are not so fortunate. (Well, I choose to put it this way because I do not see how others are more worthy of being selected) To make it worse, I didn't get into 2nd round for SMO. To look on the bright side, I'm probably getting silver again this year, but it still bothers me. I suppose it's because there wasn't any reason for me not to get in, but I failed due to carelessness. It's probably because I've lost my vigilance this year, by believing that the answer is correct rather than checking through my workings. However, by being vigilant, I also prevent myself from discovering other things. It's just like a bidding during bridge, where being paranoid over something that's been proven true would fill your brain with suspicion such that there maybe other factors which you forgot to consider. Such conflicting factors, which you do not always apply suitably, is probably what's causing me to feel so sad. It's like things are all within my capability, but I simply didn't see the right method quickly. Now the only thing that I can possibly do is to look forward to next year after half a year of wandering about finding the right things to do in JC.

福星高照

2011-05-14T18:59:00.002+08:00

当我郁闷时，总有Blogger会听我心中的痛苦，当这次的安慰，却要暂时用Notepad来写。

年初，我们的Faculty委员会的会员向我们作了自我介绍。我当时的感觉是“好酷啊！”。因此，从年初到几个月前，我一直都有想加入的念头。几天前，我收到了一个简讯，通知我我被拒绝了。当时的心情只能说有点轻松，但也感到遗憾。不过，今天的一件事改变了我的想法。我们的Faculty中有一个Radical（读者若不明白此词的意思，可以来问我）。形容他，就是个特别S的人，喜欢折磨学生。而今天，我就不幸的成为了一名受害者。当时，我真正的感到万分的幸运，进了Faculty委员会，本来就是准备在劳累中兼任更多的任务。而如果还需要看到那个Radical的脸色，我想我将会忍无可忍。这次被拒绝，也许是上天的指引，不让我再次承受曾经受过的痛苦——为了大局而忍耐着与领导两人之间的恩怨。感谢上天让我到目前为止走了一段顺畅的人生旅途，而剩下了路途，我会更加谨慎的走下去的。

New Jap dictionary on Phone

2011-04-14T22:27:00.002+08:00

Perhaps it's just because I didn't look at the strengths of Nokia. However, it is indeed surprising that a phone without language support can actually run a Japanese App properly. Now, I won't be the only guy in the group of people at the left corner without a Japanese Dictionary to refer to. YaY! Also, I've finally got a free weekend. Thus, I am gonna use it to catch up with some of the H2 content. Not the KI part of course because there simply isn't a point in trying to argue in Japanese when I can't do it really well in English. (Actually this issue is debatable because Jap essays allow 1-line explanations, which is more reasonable than GP essays which do not accept simple, foolproof reasons to why somethings are true) Also, I need to read a bit of 早报 and 朝日 to improve my vocabulary in Chinese and Japanese, after getting into contact with only Newsweek for some time. I am actually free tonight to post this, but I think I'll go read 早报 now.

但愿不会发生

2011-04-11T23:01:00.002+08:00

我指的是什么？是PW的事情，但愿不会和她分到一组。不知怎么，当她在身旁时总会感到紧张，与她说话时总是不断地在抑制自己的情绪，露不出笑容。如果分到一组，那就糟了。俺将会紧张的无法动脑筋。为了我的A，还是与熟人做为好。虽然这个可能性不大，但还是要做好准备。

还在序幕

2011-03-31T22:40:00.002+08:00

总觉得，是时候继续写我的故事了。可是，我性格过于内向，做了MBTI后的结果是26题中，23题的答案表示我是I。因此，要我主动，是绝对不可能的。所以，我决定不再选择避开。希望能在顺其自然的同时，找到新的方向。
顺便一提，我刚知道原来我的博客是有人读的。:O不过他好像没有散播任何谣言。o.O可能是因为日语不够好吧。

Google's being random

2011-03-29T21:37:00.002+08:00

OK, today Kaidi somehow went to my blog. So, I got home and typed "ng chow hui" into google. Surprisingly, the random post about Chow Hui's rumoured girlfriend (I think he's single btw) was the first result, then followed by Chow Hui's name on the school's namelists. Well, I thought that my blog has no reason to be ranked more useful than the school's website, but somehow it became the first one. Hence, whoever that types Chow Hui on Google would be linked to my blog. :O Looks like the secretive stuff which I write here aren't that safe anymore. Of course, it wouldn't be fun without any forms of risk. Thus, I'll have to fill in more posts like this one! So if you are an avid reader of this blog like No One, looks forward for more interesting posts.

用中文试试

2011-03-13T13:33:00.003+08:00

见到双（单）文化课程的同学们的华语水平，我实在是望尘莫及。若俺想像拥有他们那样的词汇，还必须下功夫不可。因此，为了维持我已经烂透的华语水平，我这次决定用中文来继续讲我的故事。

　　不知为何，我们又回到了像开学那时互相避开的校园生活。不过这样也好，毕竟我还是有点不想和任何人扯上关系。随着时光渐渐的流去，她的映像也逐渐从我的脑海中消失，令我似乎有种如释重负的感觉。不过，就当我认为自己重获自由后，我发现，我错了。在学校里偶然遇见她的时候，一见到她向我打招呼，她的映像又在我脑海中浮现了。好像复习似的。再次读一遍那些忘了的知识的时候的那种“哦，是这么一回事”的感觉。的确，她打招呼的方式与普通人截然不同。即使对于每个人都是那样，但就因为那种特别，甚至怪异，的打招呼方式，使她在我的心目中变得特别。

　　爱情，这个难以摸索的感情。即使想靠亲身体验来理解、追求爱情的真理，最后可能还是一知半解。不过，我还是想继续写我的故事。因为如果不试一试，就没有理解的可能。

Blogging too much

2011-03-09T20:27:00.002+08:00

I'm here again, having no idea of how many posts I would hit this year. Well, shows that J1 is free compared to Sec 4 (I feel so anyway). OK, continue blogging. There isn't really anything to talk about today beside the random math test. Well, I feel kinda stupid today. Despite having the intelligence to find answers with pen and paper, there wasn't enough time to allow us to do so. Thus, it ended up as a test which tests us on how skillful we are at pressing our GC. My GC didn't show me the last intercept!!! =.= Thus, we were all complaining about how noob GC is for leaving a gap in my equation of a eclipse. In the end, I kinda screwed up the test. Luckily, I didn't prepare like some of my classmates. Speaking of which, I need to practise pressing my GC today so that I do not screw up my Lecture test on Friday. Hence, I am greatly looking forward to calculus because the GC doesn't help with calculus.

Something wrong

2011-03-08T21:31:00.002+08:00

Today feels like a bad day. Well, after doing graph transformations for some time, I've totally forgot about the fundamentals of solving the roots of a polynomial using the intersections between 2 graphs. Also, I sprained my ankle and felt very tired for the whole afternoon after the SMTP run, which isn't usually the case. Well, at least it didn't get any worse.

Well, on the way home I was humming to myself again. This time, "I'll be the one" from Hikaru no Go. Then, I realised that this song actually had meaningful lyrics, as compared to most of the other Anime OP/EDs which I've heard. Since I don't feel like working nor sleep early at the same time, I should probably provide a translation here.

この瞳　君の目に
This pupil, in your eye.
映る　どんなものも
Shows anything
見極めて見せるよ　真実を
See through the truth and show me

僕たちは　この時代に
We, in this time
どれだけの夢抱えて
What kind of dream do we hold
涙して　迷いながら
Lost and crying
それに賭けてみてるの
We bet on it

僕はそれでも人に引け取らぬような
Even if so, I would yield to no one
決め手　見つけ　夢を　手にするだろう
If the decisive factor is found, the dream would be achieved

この瞳　君の目に
This pupil, in your eye
映る　どんなものも
Shows anything
見極めて見せるよ　真実だけ
See through it and show me the through only

たとえ　現実が
The reality
気づく　埋もれそうでも
Even if realised, would be hidden
こんな　場所で終わる
But if one were to give up here
僕じゃない
He would not be me

戦いに　挑んでみて
Trying to face the challenges
これほどに強気でいる
With such strength
僕だけど　今愛する　愛すべき君がいる
You, the one that I love and should love is there

そんな　君に僕　は　何　ができるだろう
Thinking about what I can do for you
でもね　いつも　わがまま言うばかり
But I always talk selfishly

よそ見　しないでいて
Please don't look aside
僕の　事だけ見て
And look at me
いつでも痛いから
It's always sorrowful
愛しい　人で
Because of you, the one I love
会えた　喜びが
The happiness when we met
切なさに変わるの
Changes into sorrow
「じゃあね」　と手を振った　瞬間に
The moment we wave and say goodbye

君の　瞳に映る
Reflected in your eye
人が　僕であると
The person, that's me
信じていてもいい
Can I believe it?
離れてる　日も
Even on the day we part

この瞳　君の目に
This pupil in your eye
映る　景色たちが
The scenery reflected inside
同じ　であるように　そう願ってる
Hoping that they would be the same
永遠　なんてもの
Eternity
ないかもしれないよ
Might not exist
だけど　今は二人
But now, as two
で歩こう
We shall walk together

Note that the part with love refer to friendship love. Well, it's kinda late that I've only just realised the deep meaning of this OP 4 years after watching Hikaru no Go. This can probably be 2 weeks of self-entertainment.

Bored

2011-03-05T17:35:00.002+08:00

Somehow I'm bored now. I do have work left to do, but I don't feel like doing them. At the same time, I don't feel like watching anime and I'm controlling my desire to touch DotA. There isn't really anything to talk about here I think. (Well, I need to control my eagerness to spread gossip around 'cos it isn't good to spoil people's reputation.) Maybe I should talk about the recent news of the top scorer. Well, she's brilliant indeed, but I think there's a deeper meaning to life. This may probably be due to jealousy, but personally, I think her life is just SAD. I've been thinking about it really. My parents want me to aim for the top, but both of them knows more importantly, that it's a lot more important to know what you want to do in the future. I've seen too many examples of brillant people end up getting a similar job to those who weren't as good as them. However, the sad truth is that I'm also not sure about what I would like to do, but the good thing is that I do have a idea of it, just that I've not made a clear choice. OK, I think I shouldn't say too much as I still have to cope with reality.

Oh BTW, I should probably state here that anyone with a little foundation in Jap and a decent IQ would probably know who I'm referring to in those posts :)

今週のこと

2011-03-03T23:11:00.005+08:00

今週の＿曜日のことだ。＿で彼女を見た。手を振ろうか。少し迷ったが、自分はこの話を続けたいことを知っていた。それで、深呼吸して、手を振った。そして、僕たちは話をし始めた。
　「これからの＿＿＿の＿で降りる？」と僕は失望に思った。
　まあ、そうだね。彼女はその辺に住んだ。トピックはなんとなく勉強だった。ちょっとつまらなかったが、これは大事なことかもしれない。彼女に僕は天才ではないことを教えたのだ。確かに、僕は頭よさそうだが、作文は立派にかけない。去年、言語の科目のせいで、僕の平均点はあまりよくなかった。少なくとも、一番トップの学生たちと比べれば、引け目だ。他のトピックについて話できる前に、もう彼女が降りる時間だ。同じ時間に（ここは9字を省く）、今度は初めてこんな時に会ったのだ。うれしかった。そして、また会うことを楽しみにしてた。
　翌日、（ここは21字を省く）。この話は面白くなる！僕も興奮してる。

I think I just did something stupid again...

2011-02-27T18:09:00.000+08:00

OK, regarding the previous post. The reason is rather clear why it's in Japanese - to prevent readers from understanding it of course. Well, after checking with Google translate, there were a little more which I had to censor, but it should be alright now. Unless someone is free enough to find out enough information about what happened to me that day. Hmm, perhaps I should test it out with my friends and see if they can understand it. If they do, I think I better remove it to prevent random people from reading it. MQ is exception of course.

このポストは期待されたかな？

2011-02-25T23:28:00.002+08:00

しばらく前に、僕はクラスメートと僕のブログについて話した。URLを知りたがっていたが、僕は教えなかった。「僕の悲しいことしか書いてない」って。結局、ここにも僕の秘密も書いてある。まあ、それについて書こう。
　二週間前ぐらいのことだ。僕は新しいクラスを知って、クラスメートたちと教室で集まった。そして、この目の大きい女の子が教室に入った。その他に特別なところはあまりなかった。しかし、僕は自己紹介をした時、日本語を勉強してるって。（ここは34字を省く）偶然に、その子はさっきに一瞬見据えた女の子だった。僕は手を振った。そして、先生は「同じバスに乗るんじゃない」って。僕は一瞬驚いて、「まあ」と答えた。
　数日後、僕たちはなんとなくお互いを避けていた。でも、偶然に視線は合う。そして、気づく前に、僕はその子のことを他のことよりもう少し考えてる。それは恋愛感情かな。自分は色欲だと思うけれど。
　時間はとても早く過ぎて、知る前に、もう今日のPOPだった。
　もう「気のせいかな」とは言えない。僕たちの視線は確かに何度も合った。だって、彼女は踊ってほしいと書いてある視線で僕を見た。でも、僕はもう一回その視線を避けた。
　しかし、チャンスはまた来た、一人で立ってた時、（ここは16字を省く）。僕はやはり馬鹿だね。せっかくのチャンスなのに、僕はもう一度チャンスを失った。（ここは30字を省く）結局、うちへ帰って、MSNでちゃんと謝った。
　まあ、彼女がほしいのに、いつも自分は子供で、まだ恋愛を求める年齢じゃないと思う。2つの気持ちは矛盾だ。自然に従えばいいかもしれない。

End of my extravertism

2011-02-16T22:42:00.000+08:00

I suppose that the theory of MBTI remaining the same for one's life isn't false. A few days ago, I thought that I had a sudden change in MBTI (Wow!), due to me being too high due to orientation. Just one week later, I am back to my old, introverted self again. Well, today was my classmates birthday and I didn't really wish her a happy birthday. (Or at least do a proper one despite not knowing o.O) Neither did I do that last year on a male classmates birthday, proving that my unwillingness to do so wasn't due to the slight gynophobia which I have. Instead, it is just something which I don't do. Maybe I should disclose a fact to no one here (please understand the deeper meaning of this diction), I'm an extreme I, N, T and a borderline J. It's just that I was trying hard to use my E during orientation that made me seem a little less anti-social. When the orientation ends, I continue my search for true friends.

Stupid mistakes

2011-02-03T13:11:00.001+08:00

A little correction of the mistakes on the student handbook.

Review

2010-12-28T23:35:00.000+08:00

Why am I here again? I have stuff that is too long to share on facebook. I just finished 俺妹. First of all, I thank the producers for making the public turn their heads when the characters cause a commotion. Not a lot of anime actually have this kind of moving background. For a moment I thought that 俺妹 also beared the theme of incest, as there was this form of vaguely shown bro-con, but since nothing "weird" happened, I shan't criticise it too much on this aspect. I was also rather surprised that some of the common techniques in romantic media actually work pretty well. I was being touched while knowing that it was way too exaggerated at the same time. Such things aren't even likely to happen in real life. This was also a deviation from the original theme of otaku-ness. I do like the anime on the whole, and I am rotting at home while waiting for the next season.

Another flaming post

2010-10-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

Now I shall disclose another fact about myself. I suffer from a inferiority complex. So I came back again to flame the same school that made the mistake on the previous chem paper.

OK, notice the propanoic acid part. Then count the number of carbons. Damn fail right? And there's another problem to this question. It assumes that by stating adding con. sulfuric acid, we should know that it's a dehydrating reaction. But the problem here is, the compound has both a carboxylic acid group and an alcohol group. Hence, the first thing that I thought about was that it'll form an ester by itself (or a more complicated carboxylic acid since it has the higher priority in naming). There's also another possibility that this thing goes through condensation polymerisation and forms a macromolecule. :O Hence, I never understood why this is actually regarded as a more challenging question that can come out for higher paper. My chem teacher went, "Why you question (name of school) so much?", when I first showed some doubts about how weird some questions were. However, she gave in by saying "Aiya (name of school) la (name of school) la", when I showed her this question. She should take some stuff from the JC and let us try.

My record of today's laughter

2010-09-28T21:51:00.000+08:00

Today, we were going through the 2008 EOY paper in bio class, and one question was about protection of the foetus in the mother's uterus. We has to name a part and describe its function.

Teacher: Can anyone name 1 part?
Someone (I can't rmb): Mucus Plug
Teacher: What's its function? (and 曾死鸡 had to answer)
曾死鸡: To protect the foetus from bacteria.
Teacher: From?
曾死鸡: External environment
Teacher: You don't know the female anatomy?!!

We were also learning new vocabulary and aquiring new information during IHC, which was typical, but I decided to write it here today. Of course, by request of the teacher, I don't think I can write explicitly here, but to give a rough idea, we were talking about ________.

(To fill in the blank, you've got to think of one word that fits this scenario. You are watching anime at home. There's a girl in the anime. A strong gust of wind blows past, but the girl remains stationary.)

OK, but that word isn't the new vocabulary. It's more about some special occasions during such occasions, when there is an extra line in the scene. The line is somewhere such that it's easily noticed, and a two-word noun describes the blend of this extra line with its surroundings. Half the class actually didn't know, while I learnt it from Scary Movie (can't rmb which series) when I watched it in 北京.

Stupid Mistake

2010-09-24T21:30:00.000+08:00

This is seriously a stupid mistake, and I can't believe that the EOY paper of this school actually got printed out like this. But to thank them for giving us the paper, this should just be some insider joke that's not disclosed to the public.

Study Source A

Source A: A screenshot of a school EOY paper

Qns 1a: Why is there a white patch?

Study Source B

Source B: Another screenshot of the same page

Study Source C

Source C: Now a ruler is added as a reference to the same screenshot

Qns 1b: Compare sources B and C. What are the sources trying to say?

Highest level answer:
1a) Source A has a white patch because it censors the school name. This can be seen in source B, where the school name is at the location of the white patch, which shows that the school name is censored in Source A. The purpose of the source is to show everyone what the EOY paper looked like, but at the same time, do not spoil the school's reputation. This is known because the setter of this question received the EOY paper from another school and feels very grateful to the school. Hence, he censors the bit.

1b) Sources B and C differ as Source B has no ruler whereas Source C has a ruler placed on it. This is clearly true as we do not find any trace of a ruler on Source B. This proves that it is impossible to have a ruler in source B, be it transparent, invisible or whatever forms of a ruler that does not block your vision. However, there is a distinct ruler on Source C. This proves the existence of the ruler in source C, and not because the setter of this question used illusionary effects or any form of magic trick. Source B and C differ in purpose. Source B shows the stupid mistake which is mentioned in the background information. However, some people may claim that this was due to scanning errors. Source C supports source B by having a ruler, this ruler traces the straightline down to the words below, some of which are covered by the ruler, showing that there are no scanning errors. Hence, sources B and C differ in purpose because source B shows the mistake and source C supports source B.

I hope everyone had fun reading this.

"Not entitled to foreigners"

2010-09-23T18:54:00.000+08:00

I just saw how much I have to pay for my Japan trip today. It was $600 more than what locals had to pay. Well, that's not a lot more, althought relatively it is. However, I do wonder why there isn't any internal subsidy. Some malaysian scholar had to pay $5000 for his math camp at cambridge, and according to insider's information there was internal subsidy for locals, if any of them went. But I doubt so. I mean, they are the people that actually win stuff for the school, compared to msot of the school population, but just not entitled to the same stuff. Weird eh? Well, I think the school probably thinks that the boarding school fees are already a great investment on them. $600+ of school fees + $800 boarding school fees per month isn't a small sum. Then, it comes to people like PRs, the only thing I get is the $400 govt subsidy for school fees. I had to pay full sum for my OBS trip aka half Singapore propaganda. Well, personally I don't think that it's a great deal because I'm not the one paying, and this kinda subsidies only exist in Singapore. My cousin also paid full sum of 38000RMB for her trip to UK, (Nice scamming of foreigners' money) which was only 11 days long. Which was more ex. I think, compared to the one-month US math camp which my classmate went. So paying full sum is like no gain rather than a loss. Well, my mom's more worried about my safety, 'cos the recent Sino-Jap relationship is a bit screwed, but I think the situation would die down in 2 month's time. Even the USA's govt's efforts to raise the RMB isn't receiving a lot of attention now despite the authorities being very noisy.

Back to the point, I seriously don't get why the JC practises this kinda discrimination aganist foreigners. Maybe there is a lack of foreign teachers or sth. But I still thank the school for giving me this kinda opportunity, not everyone gets to pay this $1200 for a trip you know.

Joke

2010-09-22T00:27:00.000+08:00

The joke of last tuesday was the epic inflation of Jap Prelim. I got +6 for my compo compared to my average score.

The joke of yesterday was Chan Wei drawing a curve for a linear law question.

The jokes of today was Dr. Tan insisting that the resistance of a variable resistor varies in a way in which he isn't certain of himself, and also Dr. Wang giving free marks for CSC to inflate our scores.

Personally I think that school shouldn't be such a joke. Things should be done properly. I do not see how my additional knowledge was on the same level as all those others who copied from the passage. I also do not see why physics teachers insist that they are correct although they are sometimes wrong, especially in the context of setting a question that has a solution that contradicts the value given in the question. In other words, this shows a lack of ENGINEERING. Jun Wei uses this term, and so shall I. Well, I know that Dr. Wang is a very kind-hearted soul, otherwise he wouldn't be teacher of the year. As for others, they use the term "don't think so much" to cover up for their mistakes in the questions. Just like a question which I found in Prof. Xu's booklet for Year 4, which implied something contradictory.

School is fun because of some of these jokes though (I am sure we had a good laugh at CW after he drew the curve), but others are plain stupid and some are meant for you to screw the teacher and get yourself counter-screwed. And too much screwing screws up the content of my posts as well. I think it has been some time since the pitiful reader actually got to read some optimistic/interesting stuff.

Maybe I record down the jokes here more often to create more laughter. Let me think of another one, hmm... go see the last four words on 现代汉语词典 in the explanation of 手淫。

Wonder when I'll actually persuade myself to start mugging

2010-09-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

Exams are nearing, and I shouldn't be thinking too much about it because I get more nervous if I do. For some reason I am actually somewhat worried about physics, that I can't hit 80%. Well I think there is always some random reason why I could not get so high for physics. There has to be this mugging component that gives the teacher a chance to penalise me. The worst is definitely biology. So pressurizing zzz. and so stressful. I took it because I wanted to waste less time slacking in school and maximise time usage. But it simply ended up giving me more stress because there are so many topics to study. It's probably time to let go of what I have, which is always a painful experience. However, it's sth that is inevitable because I have too many opportunities now = more responsibilities and more stress. I actually wonder how meaningful is getting a good MSG requirement, but probably it reflects greatly on one's personality, which deteremines one's fate. I've realised that adaptablility is not enough for a very long time now, and I need sth more, that can bring about change so that people don't have to suffer like me in the future, by that's another 10 more years!!!

Bad toilet experience

2010-09-06T21:01:00.000+08:00

This morning I had a very bad stomachache. Very bad indeed. I was squeezing my anus shut on the bus all the way to JP just so that I didn't shit in my pants. Well, the point is, I realised that SG people required some toilet training. Yes, it was really that bad. I think none of the cubicals had a flushed toilet bowl, and you can see the solid brown remains of the person who went before you. But I had to clear my load no matter what, so I had to tolerate the shit and the used toilet paper, until I cleared off most of my load and discovered how to flush it away. Now, I feel much more grateful for the boarding school toilet to be so clean. Although there's someone that doesn't aim properly every morning, it is still tolerable to a great extent. It is also a lot better after the school decided to put soda lime into the urinals recently. Even the toilets in Beijing isn't so bad, with 17 million people sharing the limited toilets in the city area, I really can't seem to understand why the condition in SG toilets could actually be so bad. OK, back to the point, SG people needs toilet training, maybe they should put some sign that says “方便后冲水，文明一大步” or something of the sort to actually help train people for going to the toilet. I wonder why parents stop toilet-training their children after knowing that their children is 50% trained or something. Like when their children knows how to go to the toilet but can't aim properly yet, they don't really seem to care anymore. Random thought: If toilet training skills ever come out for 公函, I know I have a lot of content to write. LawL!

PS: I decided not to put a pic for this post because they are worse than Fanny's unglam photos

Joke

2010-08-25T00:44:00.001+08:00

This is just some super sexist joke which someone said at Chem-O when Bomberleer (<--This is to prevent Google Search from working) told the HC dudes to reflect on ourselves for not letting the girls across the bridge add the chemicals first.

Bomberleer: Don't you guys understand the idea of "ladies first"?

Some smart guy (I forgot who that was): Of course! Ladies wait first.

Shows our school tradition of discrimination aganist the opposite gender. LoL! And the girls also took our flask with the bit of remaining extract (I forgot which component of black tea that was because I don't remember these kinda names), causing my group to end up with a little less than the original amount. Maybe Funny (this is pronounced as 'slut') has a pic to show.

Haven't had a lame joke blog post for some time. Hope this revives this place a bit.

来年のこと

2010-08-25T00:27:00.000+08:00

今はもう深夜だ。最近は来年のこととテストのことを考えたばかりだ。確かに大事だけど、どの科目を選ぶか今までも悩んでる。好きな科目だけを取りたいが、取らなきゃならないのがある。そして、とらなければ、大学に入るのによくないかもしれない。取ろうと思うのは：

J1
物理H2
科学H2
数学H2
日本語H2
GPH1
PWH1
経済H1

そしてJ2の時、H3取りたければ、経済学を捨てる。実は学校で勉強している余計な科目はたくさんある。H2の三つとH1の一つでいい点数取れればもう十分だが、何でこんなに大変な生活をしなきゃならないかわからない。

二番目の日本語のポストだ。拍手！

Forgetfulness kills

2010-08-12T22:26:00.000+08:00

I just lost 100 AUD today because I was forgetful! AIMO was so easy and I could do everything, which meant I could have won a prize, but I forgot to multiply the values back after dividing them by the common factor for easier calculation. Forgetfulness kills :O. I was in a rush to go for Chem-O which was after AIMO, which made me end up staring at the sample waiting for the reaction. If only I rmbed to check! If only... This is one of the few times that forgetting hit me hard. Ouch! The only good news I got today was that I got into the 2nd round of SJPO, which I paid my bio term grades for. I better do well next round too, but there's barely time to study, there's Jap test before that. I can't look down on Cambridge more after looking at the way they set the papers, although it may be the nature of all exams. The reason why I hate everything now is probably because I knew of the virtual world which was heaven to most people, giving people the life which they dream of, but reality is always waiting, and killing you when you forget some stuff.

Found time

2010-08-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

Finally bothered to revive this place a bit. Last post was in June, some time before SMO, which I failed considerably this year again. I just got C5 for my bio test last week, and yet I am not the slightest bit worried, because I thought that maybe I was just too tired during the test that my mind wasn't in a very good condition. Plus, that week was hell for me. The ups and downs in life, rather distracting I should say. Ups distract you by giving you a false sense of achievement (in fact you have done nothing at all), because things such as mugging for test doesn't mean that you won't forget the facts in the future, it just means that you have remembered it momentarily. People who had only ups in their life realise that they turn into nothing when they look back in the future (and to mention, they would go oh gosh, that's not my purpose in life). Downs on the other hand, are to upset you, make you jealous, etc.. Aren't there always times when you've felt that others were better than you? Truth is, there are too many factors to be compared, people just have to believe that they are the best in life. Now I think I've explained well enough why I am not upset about by bio grades after the drastic decrease. DC says that grades are the responsibility of students, but I think that it's how we maximise our learning in school rather than maxing out our grades. Lastly, not buying to Hon's policies is another reason. We shouldn't be bothered by something that doesn't affect us even if it's screwed. Looks like I can't stop crapping about school. There's simply so much other stuff that I have but can't write it here because it's too personal XD, rather philosophical I should say, and I can't face the dissonance either. Ends here.

假期

2010-06-04T22:50:00.000+08:00

离上次写博克有几个月了。由于繁忙的生活，这个地方常从我的脑海中消失。今年并不是很忙的一年，但压力却很大，尤其是两个O水准考试。虽然只是两个，且我也有充足的时间准备，但它们给我的压力可使异常的大。与校内的成绩相比，这可是来得重要，可是校长却整天在校内搞一些乱七八糟的东西，使得我们无法静下心来学习。回想起这四年度过的时光，我不得不痛恨这种精英教育。低年级时，繁忙的生活，的确让我明白了许多道理。做了那么多，得到了那么多，但许多都不是我想要的，都是一些帮助自己吹牛的证书罢了。可是，学校里仍然还有许多这样的人，怀着贪婪的心态，去把握眼前的一切。只懂得为自己的成就感到骄傲，而最后变得目中无人，忘记了“谦虚”。这种人也是我最恨的。可惜学校里这样的人太多，都聚集在一个班里，使得一个普通学生为了面对同学之间的压力，不得不与他人竞争，否则将感到自卑。此外，竞争者多，则朋友少，生活变得寂寞、单调。记得上次凤凰卫视播着关于加藤智大在秋叶原的伤人事件，体现出了一个精英学校里的种种问题。一步不慎，满盘皆输，每个人都必须稳健的踏下下一步。这或许是在亚洲的学历社会中的共同问题。想寻求改变，就必须先爬到顶峰，而不竞争是不行的，也足以说明为什么两个考试能给我这么大的压力。

Sec 4 and onwards

2010-04-01T22:20:00.000+08:00

奥化课开始了，没有我想象得轻松，只是因刚开始而正在复习以前学过的东西罢了。今年上奥数班也比以往辛苦，学的东西都没那么容易理解，周末还得复习。快乐的度过了一个学段，到了忙碌的时候。这一学段的主要目标就是考好奥数，毕竟是花了我不少精力的东西啊。校方见到多数学生下午无所事事，想尽办法把我们的课程表堆得满满的，对非游手好闲者的我，实在是天大的不公，这些辅助课程并无太大帮助，没有让我对科研有更深刻的了解，或培养我对科学的兴趣，而且还妨碍我学习自己喜欢的东西。校长也没有发现，我们现在各个方面比不过其他学校，就是应为应付校内的压力就已经不容易的，如果还需要为其他事情感到烦恼，估计多数人早已崩溃。自己学这么多东西，其实也只是因为有好胜的心态，不认同别人比我强。在人生的道路上走了这么久，终于又到了另一个难关，找到了新的挑战。心里感到兴奋，又烦恼，只知道在渡过这一个难关后，更艰险的还在后头等待着我。该信服道教了，“无为而制”无疑在某些情况下是最好的解决方法。

Reviving this place

2010-03-03T20:29:00.000+08:00

Just felt like showing some nice use of language, and of course it's because it's posted by our well-liked teacher Mr Tan Chibi (aka 陈矮人老师 or チビタン).

And some other thing which niaos KFC on facebook. Putting stuff like this in JPG prevents people from googling them out.

But just to niao the writer, his "萃" and KFC's "恺" is typed wrongly.

Tired of life

2010-03-02T20:15:00.000+08:00

4 years in junior high, 3 years of repetition, feeling so tired of the never-ending work that comes. 1 thing is that they've got nothing to do with our results, for tests test people on whether they are exam smart, rather than whether they study. The undeniable facts in the sciences does give a reason to do those homework as they help remember the facts better, but for humanities and languages? No way. Why should we even do case studies of outdated cases when there are so much stuff on the newspapers for us to read? Plus, the teacher didn't even prepare her own resources, and simply provided a link to another teacher's online learning portal. Nevertheless, Chinese is still the most boring subject, there are so much stuff that are worth doing in my life that can improve my Chinese but MOE and the Chinese teachers just chose to waste our class time by telling us to do 理解问答，应用文 and 作文, all of which have retarded marking schemes that never tests on a student's Chinese standards. Furthermore, the government even came to a conclusion that students cannot learn Chinese properly because "CHINESE IS TAUGHT IN CHINESE"! What a joke. If we were to get some of 金庸's books and talk about every bit in detail, like what we did for English literature, I am quite sure that no one would be bored of Chinese anymore. So in the end it simply boils down to MOE's stupidity. Even IP schools that supposedly escaped the control of MOE that reflected nothing good but stupidity, there is still Chinese O Levels, which getting an A at would not help the slightest bit in simply giving us some hope at answering one question at the interview conducted by Peking University. When Singaporeans blame their low standard in languages on education, it just ends up with the government assuming about what went wrong and adding more stupid policies that make Singapore's language education more stupid, and probably one of the reasons why I hate Singapore so much. These crap homework that I am doing is just inhibiting me from doing other stuff, like MOP. Loving school so much more than e-learning, when I am already hating school so much.

Reincarnation

2010-02-26T11:55:00.001+08:00

Posting during Geog lesson now because the teacher didn't come and I need something to kill time. Well, I really can't believe that my grades are becoming more extreme (languages are still fine, but the difference in humanities and sciences are showing). I was happy for some time for being the top few in class for Bio and Chem, but after I did the Geog and Physics test, I wasn't even slightly confident that I would not fail. LaLa~ Another weekend of slacking I suppose, after all the tests, and retrain my DotA skills a bit after failing so much, and figuring out the main problem about why I failed. Main thing that I wasn't happy about was that I was despised by JLoh. I just don't see why I am not given a chance to host any Jap students despite my Jap results topping the whole school every year. Sec 4 life has been rather boring until now, because of me. I can't really find something that can continue entertaining me for now. Songs? Books? Does that make a person's life more interesting? Or the super patriotic stuff on all the NCC ppl's blogs? Uh, personally I think achievements and superiority are the foundations of my life, but the constant failing last year somehow hit me hard. I can't ensure that my life would be smooth this year, like all the even years that I have gone through, which were all so fruitful. People has came up with different definitions to how life should be lead, but in the end, it's just another game which we see in computers. Level up, and fight your way through, or you would become inferior and be the slave of others. However, at the rate at which I am going at, it would be rather unlikely that I would be able to outperform others, because there are just so many things that I wouldn't want to self-study because they seem so lame. I've endured through 3 weeks of 20+ ChengYu, 20+ English terms and 2-4 pages of Wolf and Spice per day during the holidays, but none of them can keep me studying other than Math. Aiming higher in life, is it something wrong? Well, I think that there are somethings that I should not be committing to, but although these stuff may seem useless because I can only make one choice of University, at least I could choose if I continue the endless workload which I am subjected to, which would be a lot better than those who got chosen. Quite surprised at how I am still able to maintain my optimism after so much futile efforts, but I don't think I would be able to endure anymore major ones to come. Wishing that I would no longer feel that something is lacking.

从北京而归

2010-01-17T18:34:00.000+08:00

离上次写博客至少有一个半月了。没办法，北京不能使用Blogger，就连我的作业也是用Wordpress写的。为了从BSC的朋友们得到一些照片，我不得不注册一个Facebook的帐号，但搞了半个小时后还是没搞清它到底有多少功能。每次一出国，就会感到自己的无知，原来世界是那么的大，有无穷的东西等着我去摸索。生在福中，似乎有一种浪费生命的感觉，消耗着地球上的资源。两个月前，我的想法则完全不同，估计是由于看动漫看得过多而造成的。成就与幸福这两者就不能合为一体吗？在期待着幸福的同时，我发现我真正要的是成就。尽管我多么的想放弃它，最后仍紧握着不松手。但随心所欲是否是正确的呢？

Shanghai Trip

2009-11-27T19:43:00.000+08:00

It's officially called a study trip, but not many people actually had such a positive attitude towards solving all the math problems. The only work we had was to translate the question sheet and answer key into English so that the teachers can use them to teach in the future. Besides that, I got 2 Junior High Math Olympiad books1 Jap dictionary (this one own the crap out of all Eng-Jap dictionaries, XP to all suckers who uses Eng-Jap dictionaries)

1 Learn-to-draw-anime-charactersand 1 on 围棋, all of which anyone can hardly find in Singapore. I can't find anything else besides novels and novels and super-chim math taught beyond university in Singapore. In other words, Singapore bookstores really lack variety. However, I couldn't think of anything else to buy besides books, the games didn't really interest me, and I didn't have a chance to go to 电子城 where I could get some electronic devices and computer games, which I think all of us wanted to buy. Well, it doesn't really matter I suppose, I am going to 北京 soon, where I am more familiar with and have a lot more free time to go around and buy stuff, although there might not be many thing that interest me. I am really feeling tired of Singapore right now, because of so many things to care about when I come back, compared to studying Math in 上海. Next year is really coming in no time, and it would be time for hardcore mugging.

It's finally the holidays

2009-11-09T22:05:00.000+08:00

It's good that I don't have to be emo anymore, enduring all the pains of scoring C6 for exams and not being shortlisted for stuff. For the time being, I can say that I am carefree, which is in my opinion the highest level which people can achieve in life. I am not saying that working hard is a bad thing, but we always have to remember what we are working for, and not because our ancestors say that we have to work hard. I am rather pleased with myself for cutting down on gaming time, and spending more time to improve on my linguistic skills which really takes time because there is a limit to how much we can remember each day. The only deadline which I have to meet is to improve on my tone quality by Wednesday so that Mononoke would sound better, as it is the only one in which tone quality is of higher priority. Leaving for 上海 then 北京 soon, and I am looking forward to these trips, so much more than going to USA like all my other schoolmates, probably because I am not much affected by westernization I suppose. Hoping to post some pictures soon.

No mood to study

2009-10-10T18:49:00.001+08:00

I am messing with my Windows Live Writer right now, finding out how convenient this thing is. The only test which I have to study for is Bio on Thurs. I may be looking through the answer schemes for the IJ comprehension because there are some questions which I found it difficult to express what I am thinking, probably due to the lack of vocabulary. Well, I think part of the blame goes to my primary school teachers, for not teaching some of the commonly used expressions and the grammar associated with them. I do agree that I have mastered the basic grammar well, but too well, to the extent that not even the teachers would care about spotting those errors because there are simply too many scripts to mark and they have finish one script in like 2-3 min I suppose. Look, my class has 34 people. If Longang takes 5 min for one script, he won’t finish marking while his midnight oil last. 12 scripts takes an hour, 34 scripts takes 2 hours and 50min. 3 of such classes would take about one day of work. After adding comprehension would be enough to kill him. Hence, I really need some vocabulary to replace all the weird expressions that I have. Chinese test has a lame marking scheme, which perfectly explains why I shouldn’t care about studying. I have inferential skills that are much stronger than the teacher I suppose, and what seems obvious to me doesn’t seem obvious to the teachers. Math is a subject where I apply my knowledge for the higher paper. So the only one left is Bio. I do think that I can try Caleb’s technique of spamming twice the number of lines given and have a cross with every tick. A full mark is given anyway (although the concept is wrong), and I feel that the teachers should really give discredit to these kind of stuff. But since it’s required of an examination, I think I’ll just follow suit. There are 4 more topics left for me to revise, and I think I can go through one topic thoroughly each day until then.

I think I am rather screwed

2009-10-09T22:53:00.000+08:00

It's been a week since exams started, and I feel really screwed, mainly because most of the papers are essay-based and I am not good at writing, in any language. Not saying that I couldn't do it, but I only found the key to writing descriptive essay 2 years ago, and got 21 marks for that. However, I couldn't get enough practice before we moved on to exposition. Well, it took me sometime to get used to it too, but what I mainly used in the past was assumed scenarios. It's is rather retarded to quote evidence for every bit of thing you write, and people end up faking statistics during the test. Well, other than that, I got a very fussy Chinese teacher this year, which picks every minor detail in the question regardless of whether it's compre or compo or ACE. I really don't see the point of writing so many meaningless sentences just to DESCRIBE the question again, like what The-SMTP-Thermal-Physics teacher asks us to do. Hence, I have decided to ignore all these requirements of tests since mid-year, to distinguish myself from "examinees". I am still somewhat at risk of not getting 2.0 for this year although I already have 4 A1s. Along with the A2s that I am getting, it is still somewhat difficult just to get a B3 for the subjects which I am really screwed at - English and IH. Good thing is that next week would be rather smooth as there are no essay-based exams anymore. I won't mind losing to people in my class anyway. The same thing happened in Sec 1, when many "examinees" got a better MSG than me, and I shouldn't care about losing another time, especially when this years MSG does bring about any benefits. Progress, has been my goal since the beginning of the year, and the difference would show in the future. Probably got affected by the people around me :). Well, good luck to you too for your exams.

No more exemptions for u guys

2009-09-19T19:53:00.000+08:00

I am rather happy that I got exempted for 2 subjects. Max is 6 and many of my ex-classmates who got 5 exemptions last year drop to 4 or even 2 (I am niaoing CW of course). Serves those IH losers right! IH is another subject that is really damn pathetic. You have to write according to the teachers' expectations. In IHC, it is alright that the evaluation of sources have certain expectations because it is important to state clearly about what you are writing. However, plainly spamming facts in the essay is considered as explaining? Of course writing another line "Hence, we can see that A(noun) is B(adjective)" is really quite useless, but most adjectives co-exist, which brings in the importance of analogy in essays. It is impossible to say something is good or bad if we can't find something better or worse, but it is not easy to find analogies. There are certain things which I strongly believe is the right way to do things, which is learnt from all the model essays that could not answer the question which I am thinking about when I wrote the essay. How exactly can I say that A is B by just stating facts. Of course we all do have historical hindsight, but no one can determine what should and should not exist in any generation. Anyway, I am glad that my none of my friends are gonna be staying at home on any day during the EOYs due to the higher papers, and when I can finally throw away my humanities, it would be a more advantageous and easy life for me.

So What?

2009-09-09T20:26:00.000+08:00

It been so long that only until this year which I have asked the question so what. I have been very competitive with my personality throughout the years. However, recently when thing don't turn my way despite a significant amount of hard work, the question of "so what?" came in. I do agree that it is totally pointless to excel in school but unable to find a job in the future, but without our grades, we can't possibly get into a good university. This is where the "development" and "consolidation" comes in. In my opinion, consolidation is only needed at the most important times. In other words, to learn to use your knowledge in an exam, which is why I haven't gave a damn about the humanities for quite a long time. There is no reason for me to ace all the exams and forget everything I've learnt soon after. I would rather fail all of them and get one subject mastered (<= already achieved). So now, my next goal is to get 2 subject mastered. I have no idea why but I somehow do well in chemistry although I haven't memorised any concept fully before sitting for the test. Hence, I have decided that I would learn my Chem well too, not saying that I am very interested or anything (like the logical analysis though, but not so sure for organic chem). Back to my point, the question of "So what?" demanded a very important answer from myself - the thing that I really really wanted in life. Even if I had made a great contribution to anything, do I really want that? Looking at all the successful people, I don't even get a slightest bit of inspiration that I should be like them as it is simply not what I want. The idea of HOLYNESS comes in then. It is indeed good not to be so pragmatic, and the emphasis on the inner strength is what most people should consider, and by far the most favorable choice for me. Working in the society is just for one's livelihood. Goals are important in life, but there is rarely a goal that really brings about a difference in life, which is why all my achievement in the past looked so useless right now. I do have to konw my stuff now though, otherwise I would be wasting my time.

Definition please

2009-09-03T21:08:00.000+08:00

Very clearly, I have boxed the ironic part for you. Finally, I am posting something fun after a long stream of emo posts. Even the guy who said he "hates people with poor grades" qualify. I think we need to redefine what is good academic results.

n00b people who fail

2009-08-19T20:18:00.000+08:00

Well, I am partly regretting that I got into SC1, hoping to have better physics teachers, but unfortunately, those who teach the CSE are failures. I am rather unsatified with my A2 for physics this term, especially when I should be getting my A1. (I never mentioned that I should be getting A1 for the previous terms, I just said that the answer keys are screwed.) I know that my English isn't good, and obviously that led to be losing quite a lot of marks for many explanation questions. However, it's not like I don't understand them, it's just that no one understands my high level of thinking. C'mon, the question was addressing the case of hearing loss among youths and obviously it is an assumption to say that youths play loud music from their MP3 for long periods of time, despite it being the case because it wasn't mentioned in the comprehension. I would believe that those people in Singapore who choose to be a teacher are those who aren't able to get a job without the government (but obviously there are others who are just lazy). My point is: If what you are teaching isn't your area of talent, then don't teach, you won't be respected that way. Physics is a very mathemetical based subject and if physics teachers can't prove their answers with math, anything is just an assumption, no matter how logical it seems. I do believe that teachers ought to show that they possess more knowledge, but showing their superiority to students despite themselves making a mistake is not something that we would want to see them doing. In fact, I was rather pissed of at that big cross on my paper when I actually provided a prove for the increase in lateral displacement of the ray when the angle of incidence increases. Apparently, she viewed it as total crap without using her brain. There are too many times I get pissed off at people who have no brain or people who have brains which do not work properly. This term's physics test is simply another of the countless examples that I've been through and should be tolerated as well. Moreover, taking the holy path requires tolerance for this kind of unjust treatment. However, I really do wonder if such things are still possible when the Europeans countries as well as America has turned this world into a pragmatic country, where there is so much competition, so much work to do that had lead to the loss of many traditional Asian values that had been valued for 5 millenniums. もうこんな事を忍耐することになれた。でも、僕は将来この世界を僕が好きなように変える。そんな人を真っ暗の世界に捨てる。

止んだ

2009-08-15T23:29:00.000+08:00

It's a long time since I blogged, which was partly due to the tests and mostly due to the internet connection of the boarding school which fails. However, it's the convenience that is the most important and thus I should just endure it. I've realised that I have lost my target in life, having no goal. Not that I don't really have one, but just that small goals are too insignificant. In other words, I have really thought about my future thoroughly. I don't know why 3 is such a nice number, but I couldn't be bothered a single bit about what I am going to do in the future. Hence, my ace this year is also a bit screwed. I gotten used to it. One year of hard work to accumulate those points, and one year later, everything disappears. (Btw, the subject with the second most number of ace is English) I did feel that getting prizes for math competitions are much more meaningful, but the failure after SMO really made me doubt it's usefulness again. I didn't make much progress in anything this year, which was similar to Sec 1 though, but I probably didn't realise it as I was emoing for most of the year, and everything turned out fine in the end. I wouldn't say that this stop in my life is because I have grown into an age when I slack, but simply because it's Sec 3. C'mon last year's 1.22 was a form of accomplishment, but this year... Even if I've gotton 1.1 (1.0 is impossible for me), it's meaningless to be a Chan Wei and show off, niaoing others for their 2.xx. I do have more important stuff to do this year, compared to the ace. I have no time due to the 2 extra subjects. It's stupid that they can merge humanes ace but not science :O. Btw, ace is meaningless because I won't go further into any topic unless I am interested in it, which is a screwed way that defys the laws of nature. Back to the point, I have no interest in doing business. It's no fun earning money, not that I am saying that other jobs are fun. But imagining yourself idling at home and free money comes in. Very fun! I can't even spend my Saturday properly. I can't go out because it's too time-comsuming, neither can I stay at home because I don't have much work, and stones more than half the day. Well, we probably need to consider one step further now. So what even if I've found a job? Life still has to go on. It doesn't make a difference because I would just depend on it for survival. Why can't just some new school of thought come up to solve all the problems caused by the competition among the different countries. All the Confucious stuff and Taoism can't be applied nowadays (blame the Europeans and Americans for that, they led us here). Time had always been given to me to ponder about all the stuff in the world, but who the hell cares with all the entertainment? They might as well go watch a movie for some "bonding" (I don't really understand the meaning of that). I've wasted quite a lot of my time due to the lack of sleep. If I can get over sleeping problems, then I believe that there would be a higher level of analysis in anything.

This time it's not me

2009-07-27T22:21:00.000+08:00

Well, the constant failure this year isn't completely fue to my failing, but due to other factors such as people who want to trouble you. I was really pissed off by the kind of luck that I got at the project day judging. The judge combo was the worst ever combo of all, 2 bitches and one dog. The reason of failing us was the lack of result analysis, and that is definitely not a good reason to fail us. Well, it's indeed more accurate to triplicate experiments for more accuracy, but without the accuracy, the experiments aren't void either. The graph shown wasn't lacking anything too. It was a complete excuse to use such a reason to fail us, and I strongly believe that none of them had done a science project in the past. Zzz, just look at how old they are, SG didn't have so much funding on education 30 years back. Yes, the project has taken up much of my precious time, which could be used to do many other things. However, these pests do not know the hardships of us, and fail us with lame excuses. C'mon, I can come up with so many more if they were doing one.

Really really tired of such a system, which people who possess more knowledge but no brain get to evaluate the quality of others' work. There is no reason for me to emo anymore. It won't get me anywhere, and I would also thus fail as myself. I've realised the importance to change the world, to one which I will no longer be bombarded with crap, but how should I do it, is still a question which I would ponder about.

Rebellion, revolution are caused by the unsatisfactory of people, which only happen once in a while. Life should be peaceful, but it cannot always be, and to prepare for this unsatisfying moment, the world ought to be changed your way. I too feel the powerless feeling, the anger of a weakling, and one day I would grow strong, and defeat the pests that were once "stronger".

New popularity

2009-07-15T11:35:00.000+08:00

Somehow the anime season dieded, and there is this new popularity of Korean Drama in my class. It's simply because Keith Goh watches it and the rest who have nothing better to do just sit around to watch the seemingly interesting drama. (If it wasn't interesting, why would someone be watching? LOL) Hmm, my parents just ordered E-City recently, and yesterday I had nothing to do so I turned to that channel since it's new. Coincidentally, it was 7pm and some random Korean Drama started, and it's the first episode too. My father tried to prevent me from watching, but there wasn't anything interesting on the other channels. So he was forced to change it back. Well, it doesn't seem to cater to adult audiences, and I would say it's like turning anime into real-life. (-.-"') But the death of the anime season had to be blamed on the recent period failing. There wasn't much to watch after H2O and Ef had more than one protagonist, so it was very disorganised and I didn't like it, thus stopping to watch anime for 2 weeks already. Maybe anime just isn't my thing. At AFA08 there were so many characters of random animes which I didn't know, and I doubt that they are interesting. (with the exception of code geass)

I guess it's just time for a change now, since I got bored of anime, so watch something else. The point is, I have absolutely no idea why so many people like Korean Drama. (Or is it just because those people around me are mostly teens and adults in their 20s?) People like my parents don't like those kind of drama, and prefer stuff like 潜伏. Everything would turn boring in the end I guess. So we have to keep changing to entertain ourselves.

2009-07-12T19:28:00.000+08:00

This is another filler post I suppose. Anyway, I slacked through the first(second) week of term 3, still in the playing mood due to the timeslots cleared for H1N1. I can't seem to get myself to do something constructive, like learning new stuff. (Does memorising half of 三字经 count?) Term 3 shouldn't be a very busy term for me. Sec 1 I picked up anime and Weiqi in Term 3. Sec 2 I picked up Dota in Term 3. This year I have no idea of what I am going to do, but I know Term 3 is the only time that I can and bother to try something new. Surprisingly Longang was rather pleased with our 3.37, although he said that we had to get <3. I have completely no idea of how much ACE I have for each subject, but I feel that they aren't gonna be maxed. OP's worse, I tried speaking up, but besides being lame and saying all those stuff in our notes, there really isn't anything else to say. The OP system encourages people to speak up, but in a science class, there is only one answer and I feel that there is really no point repeating what the teacher said just to get a few marks. It's FREE, but I don't want it. Now in a humanes or language class, I don't really get a chance to talk besides crapping. Who can tell whether an IR would be successful if they do not know the mindset of people? And all the answers provided by those LAME people are simply economy failing so IR also fail or cannot earn money from locals and stuff. Very lame answers which do not have a deep level of thinking and investigation. If this was to turn into an English exposition, I don't know how many people would be marked down because the teachers says that they are assuming. Even the casinoes in Macau and Vegas aren't really successful because the economy is doing well. The police in Macau is already used to people suiciding and it's not uncommon to see people getting rescued almost immediately after they jump. If it weren't for these people to "sponsor" the casinoes, Macau would have died a long time ago. Hence, if we were to get OP for these lame stuff, might as well abolish the stupid system completely. What is said isn't even convincing enough. Chances are hard to come by, but when one comes, how we make use of it is the key to domination.

Loss of domination

2009-07-08T21:46:00.000+08:00

I am already feeling the impact of the loss of domination, in whichever area that I once owned in. This year's SMO results aren't very satisfying for me, and my Jap compo just got below 12/15 for the first time. I do agree that I am slack, but last year I wasn't much better and life was a lot smoother compared to this year other than Gwee Hana screwing me after every Geog test. I still strongly believes that what I am doing is good for myself. If now is not the time to specialise, then when is the time? Furthermore, specialisation means the removal of other stuff because time is limited. Hence, I see myself having 2 Humanes and English. Humanes aren't really a problem, but as for English, I don't find it very useful to me. I don't really want to master English too well, and having such an intensive curriculum for English is simply because Singapore follows the British education system and prepares us for the "top" universities. These so-called "top" universities claims themselves to be globally recognised, but who bothers to not recognise them and on what basis are they ranked top? FYI, "ranked top" suggests the presence of a ranking system, and I don't think such a ranking system is recognised. Furthermore, the amount of information learnt in university aren't gonna be of much use after you graduate, and eventually you would forget. I can guarantee that at least 75% of people go to university for their degrees, and out of these 75%, there is this group of people who go to "top" universities to get the "globally recognised" degrees. As a student, I feel the importance of the "globally recognised" degrees giving me an advantage in finding a job because not many people know such an SOPHISTICATED school of thought. But if I ever become an employer in the future, I really won't know who to hire unless I know them well (situation in China). I am not saying that the we should all adopt the China system. If so, employers can spend time in cafes with the shortlisted candidates for like 1 or 2 weeks. Then, they can get to know who to employ, but then the cafe's profits would have gone up. If I can earn more by working in a cafe, just by preparing coffee and tea, then there is no need for us to study since primary one. I am losing my dominance because of Singapore's screwed education system, which cannot select the right stuff for us to do. Getting penalised for assumptions in an exposition just isn't logical. Yes, you are the teacher, but you are still in no position to penalise me like such. Just like how Grace Chua cannot answer my question of assumed assumptions last year when I got 19/30. A conducive learning environment is important, and I can guarantee all that SG isn't a place for me to study.

A Break

2009-07-05T00:47:00.000+08:00

I couldn't be more pissed than failing all the time. Everything is going down the drain. Maybe that got to do with me having a teacher called longang. Longang, everything goes in, nothing comes out, beware of dropping things inside. Haha. That was lame. It would be great if life could be smoother, and it certainly aren't gonna be if I have to abide to all my school rules. In the past, I coped with all the stress because there was a sense of accomplishment at the end, but constant failing is gonna turn you emo, and probably leading to suicide. Of course I won't be crazy enough to do that yet, but I seriously need a break from all those retarded English and IH homework. There was this observation which I made during the e-learning week, which is that neighbourhood school students go home at like 1.30pm. WTF!! I AM FREAKING TIRING MYSELF OUT FOR 12 HOURS A DAY AND PEOPLE OF THE SAME AGE GET TO GO HOME AND SLACK AT 1.30PM. Of course, I can't really blame it on the school. I didn't go to HP because I know that I wouldn't like and would die of such an intense curriculum (doesn't seem to fruitful despite its intensiveness). The problem lies with this new teacher called longang, who likes to involve us in politics, especially Singapore politics. If Singaporeans ever get a say in local politics, the sun would rise from the west, the sun will revolve around the earth, and earth would revolve around the moon. Anyway, why do something that won't do you any good? That's like totally based on imagination, but has got no application in real-life unlike philosophy. SG is an Asian country, and how many Asian countries have English as their core language? Well, if you are expecting us to go to European or North American countries and involve in their politics, then SG government is gonna screw you. There are times when there's a better and easier way to do stuff, and there are times when you need to do things the hard way. SG people don't know how to identify these times.

This is another vent-your-anger-online post. Vent your anger on my tagboard if you disagree.

Comments about H2O

2009-06-13T08:54:00.000+08:00

One of the best anime made from a visual novel I would say, comparing to those which I watched like SHUFFLE!, Prism Ark, and CLANNAD I think. First thing is because the protagonist is NORMAL, unlike Rin who had no balls and Hayate who was kiddish. CLANNAD was too peaceful. I liked the setting in H₂O, and the fued between Hayami and the village, which intensified after the younger generation began to accept her. Everything simply went wrong the moment they turned right, and it was nice to see the characters struggling through everyday of their lives. Last part was rather similar to SHUFFLE! I think, the protagonist had to accept reality. I felt lucky that it wasn't sadistic. Sadism might result in more emo-ness, considering that most who watch anime are already the emo people, give them one sad anime and they go commit suicide. Now I am still stuck on what to watch, but maybe find something to refresh myself a bit before finishing AIR.

Very short post, but I didn't want to be a spoiler because the story was really nice to me. The OP and ED suited the setting. On par with Code Geass.

Aganist tests?

2009-05-17T01:57:00.000+08:00

The 2 B3s which I got recently is rather annoying. When I thought that my MSG could finally get better, things turned for the worse. Not blaming anyone but YapS didn't really explain the centripetal acceleration thing properly. I know that it is constant, but why do you have a velocity-time graph of a 1-D world and a acceleration-time graph of a 2-D one? The other part was because of carelessness. I didn't really expect to explain in specific detail for some questions because of the number of lines given and another reason was because when you do maths you don't have the prove the theory once more before carrying on to the next step. If spamming is the technique, we are simply saying quantity=quality. So in the end, it's just a matter of what satisfies you.

However, from Hon's point of view, we are only good with MSG 1 and 0 demerit points and stuff, and without them you get kicked out of this and that and don't get OSA and no overseas trip and blah blah... Too long a list. Not being exam-smart does have quite serious consequences. Hence, I get the feeling that teachers are EVIL because it somehow seems like they want to trick you or something, like all those people who backstab you all out of a sudden, by giving you a simple test and giving excuses to deduct your marks in the end. But I really need to find a way to counter such a problem because it is really retarded to score badly because you simply didn't answer the question in the "right" way. Very sian term of the mega-phailing. Hopefully next term don't screw up anymore.

Just really really tired

2009-05-12T20:40:00.000+08:00

It's good to pause a bit and think about the usefulness of what you have done. It's only then that I realised that, "Hey! There is really no point in mugging for an exam but I have to mug." It's actually not compulsory, but in an Asian society, this is what is required. You have to be the best, but how best can we be in school? When people have different strengths, it is wrong to say that those who are weak in a certain subject are retarded because that certain subject pulls down their overall MSG. On the other hand, it is wrong to say that muggers rule. In actual fact, people have been influenced since young that good results = everything. However, it took me 10 years to realise that no matter how great your results were in school, they may only be due to the 25% chance of a difficult MCQ question. Moreover, good results aren't gonna earn you a living. Despite the fact that it is certainly the case, you do have to master everything taught in school, but not to the point that you get penalised for using the word "vibrate" to describe fluid movement when the teacher's English standard is already CMI. Therefore, now I am dedicating more of my time to Longang, but not all, because the filter of usefulness is still there. What's the point of doing a Paul's Wheel when you can have everything in your head already, and Paul's wheel is only listing what you have in your head on a piece of paper, which is harming the environment and also insulting yourself, for the human brain has unlimited storage. However, there is also another reason why I mug for the tests. To show muggers that they are wrong. There is obviously a distinction between a mugger and a real pro. A real pro doesn't have to study to get his A1 because he has superficial memory to memorise everything that the teacher said in class, which unfortuantely I do not possess when it vcomes to anything besides numbers. (That just contradicts my point, I can simply enumerate everything which I have learnt to help remember, but oh well)

Referring to 老子's 《道德经》, there is a clear distinction between outside and inside. However, in any kind of society, it is practically impossible to become HOLY. If your want to do that, you need some fame, otherwise you are dead by now. Furthermore, it is also considered as a waste of resources if one goes to school and does not make use of the skills taught.

Haiz... I am off the point a long time ago. Anyway, I am really tired of getting good grades just for a nice result slip as the result slip is practically useless. The Canadian educational system may be great in a sense, but different people have different personalities, and ultimately the thing boils down to differentiating examinees and students.

Former Swang (Swine) Flu

2009-05-04T19:28:00.000+08:00

I didn't really expect to be so free at such a point of time during the year, especially with my last two years' afternoon's being tightly packed. Sec 1: Band thrice (twice) + 3rd lang twice, otherwise occupied by sleeping due to low work efficiency then. Sec 2: Band thrice + 3rd lang twice + IVP once. Sec 3 Jan-Apr: Math Olympiad twice + Band twice + 3rd lang once + Project meeting once. Sec 3 Apr-Now: Mega O.R. for band due to various reasons + public holiday + CCA holiday. ( -.-"') (I am expecting people to tag "OH, you are just giving excuses not to come") Therefore, I should be much more free than Term 1. However, despite cutting down my DotA time, I wasn't able to complete some of my homework on time. There may be an increased workload but I didn't realise it. However, it is quite a good time for be to buck up slightly on my ACE, though I really don't know when would I finish those assignments. It's like your ACE would naturally max out in Term 3 for some reason, therefore I haven't done anything until now. If Longang Chan stop spamming us with homework and gives us some ACE assignments, I am sure that my English Ace would be 10 by now.

I really hope Swang Flu would stabilise soon, because getting too used to slacking isn't good. Once you slack, you slack more, and slacking time, though increasing linearly, total amount of time wasted increases exponentially.

Failing

2009-04-11T23:18:00.001+08:00

I am simply posting this due to my blog history. 2007 (70), 2008 (24), 2009(7). Last year was really a failure, but to tell the truth, last year was a rather successdul year in terms of school work. No more sleeping at 1am and stuff. Personally, I dislike the large amount of homework given by the teachers last year because I was never able to do them properly, writing crap answers and stuff, whereas this year I was doing my homework with a bit more effort. For some reason, I am somehow determined to reach the level of true trilingualism, not simply Can Make It for all. However, English haven't been improving much lately, just simply couldn't remember all the words in comprehension, but still improving due to the topics taught by Longang.

Chinese would be slightly faster I suppose, because I feel that the teachers really have a way of improving our Chinese in Sec 3, unlike ShiehLS who simply spammed us with compo and expect us to improve. I believe that we may not be behind the schools under the Express Stream, but somehow I feel that because there aren't many times which we actually get to use the words that we learn and hence we forget.

Japanese? Na, last years super mugging gone down the drain, but not 100%, I still learnt some stuff, just that I don't realise it, probably gonna do some light mugging every now and then.

Then it's math. The hard part is already here, and I don't stand a lot of chance at Geometry anymore, worse for Number Theory, probably need to read more online Geometric stuff, then can get the gist of it.

Yesterday was spent slacking, today too. Tomorrow is bucking up day, read AC Nation and do math I suppose. Somehow I get the feeling that there is more work to be done, or maybe just because I am having extra time after cutting down on the dota matches on Sat and Sun. Hope you aren't bored to death by this.

For my animaniac friends, I am currently at episode 20 of Clannad now, gonna finish it by next week.

Before you flame my tagboard

2009-04-04T23:27:00.000+08:00

Despite the majors emphasising the fact that we should not get arrogant about our achievement, I still have to post it because I made a promise to my readers... (countable I suppose, not even one-third of 2M2008++) Anyway, the thing is, we got GwH! What is GwH? If you don't know, you can ask my friends. Click on the links and hope to find someone willing to help you, and even if you know, don't bother flaming the tagboard. 1. Flame who? Me? You can't. I am invulnerable to insults. Or if you are really so determined to make me pissed, you can try reading all my previous blog posts and I am sure the hints will all come out when you are done. However, by then you would have wasted quite some time of your precious life reading all my previous blog posts, which didn't have the quality of those which I am posting now.

If you were here to congratulate me, please do that somewhere else because there is really no point doing it here. Imagine me tagging 'thx' on my tagboard, so lame! So I am gonna do it here. Thanks for the support people! Please get me to support you as well if you ever have the chance. Next goal in life: TOP 30 for SSSMO. Then, next year can go Hamamatsu without the feeling of missing something.

101 and counting

2009-03-30T21:55:00.000+08:00

ついに一百一番のポストだ！とても長いストーリーはここに書いてあるよ！だって、僕の二年前からの記憶は全部ここにある。懐かしい...　金曜日はバンドのコンペティションだよ。準備はどうかわからないが、もっと自信があるようになるは今の要だ。この一週間にいくら努力しても、あまり効果的ではないと思う。そして、自信はないなら、大会の日にきっとその場合の空白を恐れる。その時は、大きく吹こうが吹くまいが、自分だけが聞こえる。だから、その十分に、夢幻の世界に行かなきゃ。いい夢を見て天国の幸せを感じる。後で現実の世界に戻る時、もう成功した。この四ヶ月の努力はそのただの八分のためなので、選択はない。唯一の結局は一番になる！

Part of the reason I am posting it in Japanese is because I regard anime as a virtual world, and hence dump my feelings into it. However, don't be discouraged if you really want to know what I am thinking, because I would be hopefully doing one in English soon. Give me some support for my SYF, then we can feel the school glory together.

Memories

2009-03-08T12:09:00.000+08:00

おめでとうございます！これは一百番目のポストだ。読み続いてね！

前の日記を読むと、過去に返った感じが出る。しかし、あの時の人はお前が聞こえないし、見えないし、お前は存在ではなさそうだ。たぶん、それは違わないけど、過去に返った理由は前の自分を見る。もちろん、わからなかったことがある。いつも「どうしてそんな馬鹿なことをした」と自分に聞くが、答えが見つけられない。特にとても変なこと（誰にも教えられない）と変な反応だ。そんなことが説明できる唯一の理由はその自分はまだ若すぎたので、世界は自分にとってちょっと難しかった。でも、その時に思ってる事がもう全部忘れた。今できる事は過去の間違えを忘れて、新しい自分に変わる。

That was just another piece of reflection by me in Japanese, but somehow it was still hard to do some reflection in a foreign language. Most of the time, when you can't find a word to suit into your sentence, you think of another way to phrase the sentence. Thus, the hole that is there is never filled up. Is life about filling holes or building mountains. Not saying that one should be an all-rounder but you definitely need to fill up the right space. Hence...

Argh, I can't think of a good topic to crap about.

OK, let's talk about my emo-ness again. I haven't gone back to my virtual world for quite a long time. Having been dreaming a lot these days. Probably that's why people need to believe in God, for some illusion of there is someone supporting you from behind. However, when you are determined to deny God's existence, you needed some comfort zones to vent your anger and the pain of the real world, which is your virtual world. I am feeling very sian this term because of the long period before I went back during last December. Not able to do that during the March holidays either. Just hoping that there would be more school activities Next Term.

New Habit

2009-03-02T21:03:00.001+08:00

Ever since I came into the small classroom of SC1, I developed a habit of grabbing the smooth door handle occasionally. I don't know why I like the door handle so much but I just felt like grabbing onto something when I didn't have a pen in my hand. Then, the guy beside me would say, "Walao, what's your problem? Hug the door handle for what?" Of course it's not because I actually like the door handle so much by my hands get itchy. Then today, the situation got worse. I was spinning a chair around myself during Bio lesson. Never found out the reason why I did that, but I was disappointed when I realised that the chair is hard. So hoping to grab something soft but couldn't. The Bio teacher did suggest me getting a soft toy, but I think it would be even more weird because if I do, I need a big one and can't probably put it into the classroom. Hence, I need to find an alternative solution, but for the meantime, I should probably just bear with it.

Going through teenage is rather weird. In the past, I often wanted what other had. Now, it's not what others have that I want, but what they don't. I want to show the unique side of myself, which isn't really unique. I've been wondering why I actually gave myself a freedom of speech. There were always things which I was too shy to tell others (you have been seeing a fake me all along). Teenage is evil. You gain more independence but wanted some care. You want people to say something to you although you may not need it. That's how I've been feeling for the 2 extra hours I am awake each day. Really hope to sleep early :)

Of course, everyone still has his own secrets. I can see what every loner needs because I am one myself. Why are people so lonely? I guess it's probably the situation in Singapore. Your friends live too far from you. You can't simply go to their houses every weekend like what my Jap teacher could. She says that students in Singapore are very pathetic. I wholeheartedly agree. There is no one you could actually consider a true friend. Whom you can see after school ends and not just a contact on MSN. Ask yourself, in your life, how many true friends have you had. I would say probably those in primary school. They were those who shared enjoyable memories outside school with you every afternoon, but they have to leave you. Then you move on to secondary school and get a new group of friends, who may not be very good friends with you but you see them more often and the challenging tasks develop teamwork among you, this is when your memories of past friends start to fade. Then you move on to JC, you forget the teamwork you developed with your friends in secondary school. Your new mugging group revises the same topics as you and score about the same marks as you in JC. University is all thats left, but no matter how many friends you make in the world, there is always a time to say goodbye. We all hate these moments. I loved the birthday parties in Primary School, I loved the joy and laughter in 2M, but the memories fade.

Got slightly affected by the CSE coordinator. I am in a weird state of mind now, not tired, not active, but blissful. These moments come occasionally, but I can't cherish them sometimes. Thank you for reading this long piece of crap. Please continue to be a reader.

Uniqueness with Scopophobia

2009-02-07T19:53:00.000+08:00

I've actually realised long ago, that my personality has contradictions. I am a person that likes to be unique, but in most cases, unique=weird and in some cases crazy. Then some people quote from some books: but everyone is unique in their own way. I know that! But people in Singapore just looks so similar just that they have different faces. Of course, I am not referring to everyone but you certainly can group them.

Back to the point, you find yourself thinking in a way that is much different from the rest. However, there is this majority win rule that would take the decision of the majority which is not proven to be 100% effective. Therefore, you wouldn't dare to express yourself, especially with the "seek first to understand then to be understood" thing, which is not right. Say if there are 2 people and neither of them seeks to be understood first, there is not way they can become good friends because they can't even understand each other. If both are seeking to understand, then what is to be understood?

Therefore, all the famous quotes from people are either screwed, or people don't understand them the right way and screw them. So in the end everything is screwed.

Can this be why people are so uncreative? It is highly possible because the creativity of a person is confined within the general opinion of the public, which is usually wrong. We say this is wrong and that is wrong, but sometimes we never realise that it is simply the opinion of the public and not exactly wrong in any sense, just that the media has a certain level of high influence on us.

Thus, there is this false impression that being unique is wrong because other people don't think the way you do, which is what I must get rid of and heck the "weirdness" that is the opinion of the general public. I should just voice out my opinions like there is a rule of you having to say that I am right. Like saying: the general public is a large group of 废 people who limits the creativity of others and hence hinders the advancement of the society.

Careful till I am careless

2009-01-31T20:41:00.000+08:00

This is the 2nd post this week. But, OMG! I left my homework file in SALT Centre! OK, the story was like this:

Just beginning to learn to do my homework in SALT Centre during full band, I brought my file in to the main hall of the SALT Centre band room to make full use of my time. However, the JC liked to practise after us, and this Friday, the cursed day when my classroom had the aircon left on and me leaving my homework file in SALT Centre, was no exception. So it neared 5 o'clock, and I had to take my measurements for the New blazer. The JC was moving in at that time, while I was being very careful about not missing any of the 7 things and counting which I am bringing into the band room: 1. Mouthpiece 2. Score 3. Pencil & Notebook 4. Water bottle 5. Metro-tuner 6. Pencil case 7. Homework File. Then I went down to take my measurements with YaoChong looking after my stuff, which he did rather well. Then the tailor hadn't came yet so we went back up for 10 min sectionals. So at 5.45, everything was done and I was packing up. Making sure that I had 7 things again and thinking that there is no way of losing anything, I packed by bag. BUT! Due to my habit of thinking that the pencil box is the last item, I LEFT MY HOMEWORK FILE THERE! I was thinking why it was so easy to put my pencil case into my bag then, but didn't suspect anything. Probably because all the music drowned my paranoia and of course partly due to my ****phobia... No, that day must be cursed. I bet that Friday the thirteenth has got some pronunciation relation ship with the thirtieth, and so does the fortune. Go check wikipedia, there's gonna be 3 more Fridays falling on the 13th! I better be less careful.

Incase you are wondering how many lessons I can survive through without my homework file, I would say probably half of them, because I won't be getting the neutralizing luck which I got on the Friday of the first week.

Venting my anger again

2009-01-29T22:03:00.000+08:00

Part of the internet's job is to give people room for them to vent their anger. Despite my busy schedule, I am posting something here because I feel that there should be vengeance for mistreating me. So, I came home tired as usual, and hoping to watch another episode of CLANNAD, but somehow 土豆 is lagging like shit, so I gave up. Then I went to check SMB, and the seemingly most urgent message was the one which Laurang urging us to vote for GG. Who doesn't want to vote when she posted the same message a few weeks ago? But that bloody site requires me to sign up. Of course, I dislike filling in my particulars (it triggers my paranoia). So I didn't bother after that. However, the new message told us to sign up. So I 给了点面子 and signed up. That f*cking site requires a username more than 8 characters and less then 50. Who the hell needs a username of more than eight characters and which idiot would have a username of up to 50 characters? Imagine signing in at your friend's house. You type 50 characters and then later they say wrong username or password. Furthermore, there is no password strength requirement, so I just type an x there and with some hacking software anyone can get into my account in less than a second, retarded isn't it? Personally, I think a 3-character username is short, nice and easy to remember. Therefore, I didn't like it and signed up as "eight_characters". After that I tried voting again, but they said my account was inactive and made me take the trouble to go to my email and activate my account, and then the link below took me to some blank page that tells me there is a null error. I went back to the original page and tried again, but it didn't work and after 3 times it told me I've used up my quota. Therefore, I requested for a change of password, when I changed it back, I couldn't login again.

Now you get the point? I have spent much more time waiting for my internet to load than you reading this post and I couldn't vote in the end.

You must agree with me, STOMP is an A.H. website that contains loads of 牛の糞 that scams you for your personal information. I should sue them for this.

Regretting that I went early

2008-12-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

I was at band camp for the past few days and obviously I didn't like it. Not talking about the food or the rules, just didn't like the cover up for the lack of programmes. Although it's a common problem to face a lack of programmes since the duration is decided before the schedule. However, anyone looking at the programmes would find it similar to Animal Farm. Morning: Band Practice, Afternoon: Free time, Evening: Sectionals. Seems alright at first sight, but what I want to talk about is the middle part. It's free time, but you should have sectionals. Not saying that there would be any penalty if you didn't, but of course the peer pressure that is present is the most important factor of all. Therefore, no one dared to slack off. For those of you who read Animal Farm, you should remember the officially called "Voluntary work" on Sunday, but if you don't work, you don't eat. However, this is a slightly different situation. As I've said earlier, there is only peer pressure that is present. However, peer pressure is not something which you can measure. Therefore, it would not be obvious whether you would have made any sacrifices for slacking off, especially in the modern society which is governed by law. Thus, Jia Sheng can say that we were given nice choices on how to use our time (e.g. go for an outing, movie, LAN etc.), but we simply were too enthusiastic. However, I doubt that he had actually planned all this. So are things born this way? The most common method to counter all these miseries is not to go for the camp, but attendance is important (there's attendance?). I actually went because DM said it was the fun type of camp (agreed, very slacking attitude indeed), but very boring (get a life please, no one can stand doing the same thing over and over again for one whole day). I too was given a chance to go later, but somehow I didn't. Not saying that there aren't other methods to counter, but I would say that the materials needed aren't ready.

Boredom

2008-12-15T21:24:00.000+08:00

It's hard to be a loner you know. I've been feeling rather lonely since the holidays started, so wanting to talk to someone or go out a little bit. However, due to my hatred for crowded places and my weird complex, I want to go home the moment I see someone I don't know. Therefore, I always stayed at home. At home, the only source of entertainment was the computer (channel 5 and 8 only have noobshit shows), which I use to play DotA and watch anime. By the way, I've stopped watching ハヤテのごとく, reason being the absence of relationship between the episodes. In the meantime, I've finished 2 other animes and is currently watching Elfen Lied (The first anime which I couldn't find on any chinese video sharing sites. The most simple and straight forward reason would be because the anime contained too much H, and if you look at the introduction on 百度 and Wikipedia, you would notice that Wikipedia sounded much more positive than 百度. If you simply watched the beginning of the story, then you would most likely say that it sucked, but the middle part was rather meaningful. However, there is something I agree with 百度, which is the introduction of characters which get killed soon after they get brought into the story, which is one thing the 漫画家 did to sell more paper I suppose. However, what was more weird was that the anime had all these 废 parts as well, but did not really follow closely with the manga. Of course part of it was to hide some H, but they could have put in more meaningful stuff like showing more of 耕太's anxiety when Nyuu went missing and not making it seem like 耕太 found her immediately after.), which would last me for at most 2 more days, then I will continue clearing my long list of anime waiting to be watched. Good thing there's band prac tomorrow, not saying that I like it very much, but having a change is important.

JLPT tomorrow

2008-12-06T19:37:00.000+08:00

From the beginning of the holidays till now, I haven't revised much for this test other than reading 7 pages of my "狼と香辛料". Good news is I can remember about 60% of the words I learnt from that book, and bad news is: I am reading too slowly. How am I supposed to read fast if I only do when there is no band prac or school stuff? Recently, my Japanese haven't been improving as fast as it was during the June holidays, maybe because I grew more comfortable with the major slacking before the EOY exams. To be honest, I would say that I may be the only one that actually bothers to study at home, where as others simply slack or do what they like with what they have (If you don't understand what I mean, your literature is a failure. And if you are thinking that my lit is nothing better, is because the problem lies with my writing skills, not my comprehension skills), therefore still allowing me to remain dominant. However, what is the point of a veteran owning noobs? He still dies when he meets and elite. You look at the strongest chess players or the best sportsmen, their opponent aren't any weaker, it's just that because of that slightest bit of coincidence which allowed them to win. Half a year ago I was amazed by the J2 senior who survived through 6 years of 3rd Lang (though I think that his 3rd lang results may not be that good due to the scarce number of people that are actually still surviving), but now, it seems that there aren't much things that actually inspire me to become better because of the lack of a challenge. If you doubt what I say, go look at the online games people play. A very simple example would be Maple. The pro gamers tell you that it's a game for babies, but look at the number of people playing! Why? Because there is a challenge! Some people tell me that they have to play comp for the whole holiday just because they do not want to be outleveled by their friends. (-.-"') So basically, the presence of a challenge is very important. Until now, my parents are still bloody worried that I would screw up the test. (Are they still not confident enough just by seeing the overpwnage EOY overall which I got?) But honestly, if I screw up the test, it would a real waste of time and effort.

Waking Up or still in Wonderland?

2008-12-05T10:37:00.000+08:00

Well, it's not really a matter of whether I am awake or not, but I feel that this reminder had given me a better understanding of the current circumstances. The concert was yesterday, personally I think we did alright, but well, some people weren't happy. Looking at the easy pieces we played (we just had a lot of off-beats), it just wasn't enough. I know we rehearsed many times, but we are just too shy (ignoring that fact that we only got like 2/3 of the people) and the song turned out to be very soft (but good :) ). Still, at the end of the day, we sucked. I know that the SC also told us that we were alright, but somehow only the nasty stuff went into my head. "You were not together..." and other stuff, but I would also say that part of it was because we were not used to the way the Assistant conductor conducts. Personally I think that the concert is somehow used to flame us. I was also told that this was chapter one only, and I was thinking of it as 2 or 3 then but realised that it was only the prolouge. There would be many stuff waiting for me when school reopens (CSE, SIMO, MOP, SMP, 3rd Lang). Simply these 5 are enough to kill me, which means there would be some sacrifice, but no, there wouldn't be.

Band Test

2008-11-11T21:46:00.000+08:00

Sadly, next year is Indoor SYF, so got new policy again, which is those who don't pass the test would be put on probation, one thing is because we don't need so many people now and there are some who are pulling the whole band behind. So the thing is, why the hell did Doggy Chen put so many people in band in the first place? Not everyone is so free to spare 3 afternoons to come for EP3 you know? Yet they are saying that we are gonna participate in Display Category in 2010. Now we should have about 60 people, but then Leng wants to cut half of the people. First thought would be you are only on probation if you don't pass. But think harder, and you find too many in one section drowns the rest. So basically if one section gets chopped into half, all the others would suffer too. Yes so basically everyone must pass, which should be rather likely, though I don't know how the hell is the string bass is gonna be tested on articulation and how Shuin Hern is gonna pass his theory if he is going for some NYGH thing in the evening, and honestly I haven't even revised on any of the minor scales yet or went to wiki to read up on my instrument. I do have a nice idea though, if they are gonna put people on probation if they don't pass, then they might as well make it so that it is 100% probation (you don't have to come until further notice) and allow those to have their time put to better use. Hopefully I pass tomorrow, though personally I don't have any confidence in doing so because last year I barely did ( though I crapped the whole thing).

Class Chalet

2008-11-01T20:27:00.000+08:00

I personally think that the chalet was totally screwed. We only planned for the barbecue... With FT starting the fire??? You sure??? We had to resort to Pokemon cards and Xbox 360 to entertain ourselves, some had to go LAN. I must admit that those who went LAN on Tuesday were indeed kind enough to let the other few have the Xbox to themselves, although nothing was fun to me other than Halo (damn dizzy). On the 3rd day, when we thought that we had to check out, the person at the reception told us we had one more night!!! If everyone had like 15 bucks then we would have wanted to stay one more day, but Wenqi and CW only had 2 bucks left... A bit can stay... So some left I think, and others stayed till the evening. The only thing I gained was how to use Clockwerk Golbin, and some more "bonding" (it's in inverted commas because it's the original meaning which is used less often). Sadly, I really felt that it's difficult to part this time, compared to the one in P6. Reason being the annoying people are those whom we target when we make jokes, and there weren't these people whom I hated. I've got this feeling that something is missing when I have a lighter bag, and often find missing and extra things in that bag when I arrive at school. The last moment of joy... seemed so sorrowful.

Back!

2008-10-26T01:20:00.000+08:00

Phew! After 5 days of being barbaric, I finally returned to the civilized society that we are currently living in. OBS was damn tiring, though I must admit that it was rather meaningful because there was this sense of accomplishment. There were many fun things too, but I don't want to talk about them because they would make OBS sound fun... (not fun!) I received my results on Friday and somehow got an MSG of 1.22, with English A1??? Though I personally agree that my English standard is not good, there is this system of ACE (not really grateful to it since everyone's got 15 ACE) and OP that I must thank. For some strange reason, I never speak up during Math and Science classes, and a lot during language classes, thus maxing my language OP... Furthermore, my English was about 74.3, but the integer system rounded it up... The 1.22 were part of the foreseen "unforeseen" circumstances, but I was thinking that Jap would not be counted and IH of B3 with Chinese A2. However, it just turned out all right. After that was DotA for me, some game that I have been sucking at for 2 months and finally learned how to use DK! It's class chalet next. I would post more then... Oh yeah, it's already the end of the year and I would have to say goodbye to about half of my class (Expecting most to go to SMTP science), hopefully next year I can be more like a robot.

Well...

2008-10-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

What a long time since the last post, but I am posting again. First thing I would like to say is, "I have failed, in many aspects." The first blow came during the release of the IH results. Ahh! Another crapping paper which I couldn't score well because my crap wasn't the crap that the Geog teachers wanted and another History paper of great value which I have once again screwed up the comparison question between Source B and Source C. To be honest, my first attempt without the SBQ guidelines was much better as compared to the answers I wrote after reading those guidelines. Is it true that though guidelines are meant to guide people, they may ruin the natural talent that is present in each and everyone, by causing a misconception that there is only one way to do something? Anyway, I only got 68.5 for my IH. The second blow: Lit. Ahh! Who moderated my LotF??? From 22 to 19... although I do admit the second part was partially crapped due to the lack of time, resulting in me getting 50/75 for my Lit. Last blow, though may not be obvious in any way, I only got 91.4 for my Jap. WTF!!! There were so many careless mistakes and I didn't read the questions properly for the listening exam. Although I would say that this year's main goal is to get into CSE, I am not aiming to get 1.0 with A1s that are scraped, but 1.44 with ownage A1s and rightful A2s. However, it is just foolish to be pushing up the top end which is almost impossible to push up much further, but it is perfection that I seek, which is unlikely due to the amount of careless mistakes I am making. To be honest, I am not really happy with the MSG of 1.33, because I still got A1 for Chinese, which I screwed up the Paper 1, and A2 for IH, which should have been a rightful A1 due to the quality that I always tried to give. Until now, I haven't realized that it has all ended, still being a little frustrated with it while returning to the virtual world at the same time. I started watching ハヤテのごとく today, which although doesn't allow me to feel the bliss that I have experienced during SHUFFLE! and Prism Ark, portrays the happiness of human beings when we work hard and strive for a better world. Don't expect me to post anymore in a week, I would be enjoying my anime. さよなら！

Tolerance

2008-09-12T21:13:00.001+08:00

Today is really a bad day, and it all started this morning when I got fined for talking. I didn't know how the hell the DM remembered it but he just did, after such a long time. To be more specific I was fined for talking during the exchange with Foon Yew. Not saying that I simply forgot about everything because it was an exchange, but I simply felt that it was our job to make the guests feel welcomed, and more speech means a more meaningful experience. However, the DM doesn't seem to share the same point of view. I would half-heartedly agree that we are showing an example of a good band, but at the same time, we are hosting an exchange. Regardless of the situation, it is impolite to ignore anyone speaking to you. Thus, it is regarded as a lame reason, and the DM is simply looking for trouble.

It was about 12 when I received my exemption letter, and guess what? I didn't get exempted for Science! Wow! That's like so retarded, when I A1ed all the tests and should have maxed my ACE but the teachers owe me. Which caused my score to be 78.8 which is 2 marks away from 80, and to the extent that without the 2 marks I only need a score of 68 to get A1 for the overall grade. Is that hard??? No! Not even the slightest bit, but ridiculous to the extent that it seemed more likely for my name to be missed out.

Of course, it is difficult to endure this kind of emotional trauma. Considering that I had to be punished later, I simply accepted ZhouMY's offer to go KAP together, although it is not right to vent my anger on the ABM (though it's a 废 position). However, it's not my problem anyway, other than maybe I should just get punished another day or simply regard it as something optional.

Luckily, I forgot about almost everything after my lunch, as was feeling better. However, I still have to forget about the LSS thing because the thought of it makes me feel weak.

The results

2008-08-15T22:35:00.000+08:00

The result of my exposition wasn't satisfying. Without looking at the marking system and using the top scorers' results as a comparison, I would say that I had been mistreated. Supposing that 30 means perfect, which means that one has stated his points clearly and supported his argument well, those who scored 23 would thus be considered far from that. Looking the few grammar errors on my 570 word essay, which is not enough to show why I actually scored so low as compared to the rest of the class. Regarding what is missing in the text, which includes one "little vague" and two "exp."s, I might feel that the score was reasonable. However, there is no reason for the full mark to be there just to make sure that no one scores a 100% and usage of bombastic language is not required, thus giving more room for the mistakes I made. One of the "exp."s is written at the end of a paragraph, basically marking that I did not explain my explanation that explained an example. Regardless of whatever explanation is missing, sometimes common sense tells you that if I had to explain my explanation again, I would have to explain that explanation again and so on and so for, which means that there is no end to the essay, which is thus impossible to be achieved and is implying that no matter how much you write, you would end up with an "exp." there. Furthermore, there is no right or wrong in language, and the few ticks without comments simply mean meeting expectations, and thus do not contribute anything to the deduction of marks. So why did I get such a low score? I believe that there is no reason behind it, and people simply use the benefit of the doubt, causing others having no way of rebutting.

Memorable things

2008-08-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

In chronological order, the first thing that I would like to announce is that I got 27th for SMO, which was considered totally shit (by me of course). One thing is because I got pwned by the Sec1s. Most of the pro people from 1M got 30 for the first round, and I was lagging behind by 10 marks. It was simply thanks to my luck in the second round that I was able to get into the top 30. However, there was still a little strategy involved because I was revising on Geometry, where I can score in the second round. Good thing is a similar question got tested, but basically I was lucky.

Then it's the Geog test. This is the first time in almost a year that I felt that I would not be simply passing a Geog test. Hopefully this term my MSG can get to 2. :)

Last thing was the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics. Personally I felt that the ideas were simply coped from the 5000 years of Chinese history, but how you apply them is one great feat that not many people can do and no matter how unoriginal the idea is, you cannot say that it is plagiarised. I was watching, or rather staring, at the television screen until my eyes went into this weird state that you cannot resist avoiding it nor staring at it. The entrance of the teams took quite a long time, and was rather boring, but I couldn't be bothered to finish my English Assignment. On the overall, the ceremony was great, but somehow I just can't seem to feel proud at such times, it is just that simple satisfaction, and I always felt that there was room for the better. It may be due to the natural humility that is present inside me, but my hate for losing forces me to use these solid evidence sometimes. Anyway, the good memories are always forgotten, but so are the bad ones as "yesterday is history".

One Winner, Year 2008

2008-07-16T20:51:00.000+08:00

This is a two-in-one post because it would seem weird to double post and I haven't got time to share bad news. Reason being: 1. It's bad news, but not bad enough to make to dump my miseries online. 2. I've got no time.

OK, first on NBC, we got 3rd! People would go "Wow!", but (although I didn't go) I think none of us from my school cheered. We were rather sad due to all the "hard" work (more of extra work because we slack during practices but there were extra practices) and comforted ourselves by finding excuses. Well, I would say that it may be necessary to save those who are going to become emo, but some people would think that next year we are gonna have more people so we don't have to work so hard. I wouldn't say that we were lousy, because our piece was definitely Singaporean standard, but I definitely realized that lack of experience. I forgot about what happened on the first day. Compared to the facilities in XNPS, I would say that there are pros and cons. Good thing is that we can hear our mistakes, but bad thing about our band room is that we sound loud. Then, when we went into VCH, it became very soft because our ff was like an mf (large hall) there, but of course pp was still like mp (the thing behind us, don't know what it's called but anyway it makes echoes I think). I thought that we screwed up and somehow we still got 3rd because it's Singapore. I am not the type that despairs but is very pessimistic, and thus I strive for excellence, but I must have interest. Anyway, we screwed.

Next thing was the 柔道, B and C boys were thrashing (obvious thing since RI is slacker school). Then the A girls and boys lost. It's something that usually happens but you never know what it is like to be cheering for a losing team. I can understand how those people feel now. Looking at our school, there were this bunch of people who did not cheer. I wouldn't say that the situation is any better on the other side, but as compared, we cheer not because we win, but because we belong to the school, despite the lost. I seriously don't want that thing that happened more than 16 years ago to happen again. It shows the school spirit, but I think the spirit should be shown through out performance. Therefore, I wouldn't say that the competitors did not train hard enough, but I am saying that some might have done what they ought to do. Furthermore, we aren't like them, looking at our school, our sports class is not the last class in the cohort, which is much better as compared to the Retarded Family Members who has school glory before student welfare. The track and field team secured the streak.

溜め息をつく, we deserve a rest, but we can do better.

Temptation

2008-07-06T21:50:00.000+08:00

It really seems like that Chapter in Death Note. When 南空直美 was tempted to join the investigation team, her ID was shown to 夜神月, which caused her death. Somehow I have this weird feeling that the offer to join the EXCO, would end up in a similar way. 2 days ago, I was determined to pon the band practice tomorrow, but after the mentioning of the positions in the EXCO, there's something preventing me from ponning that practice, although I still have Projects Day Competition to worry about and there aren't much time left for me to do my share. I would consider NBC to be something that is done too well for nothing. However, it should be for the sake of next years SYF Competition, so that history does not repeat itself. Anyway, I wasn't dedicated to going for that practice, but in the end, in a way, I was forced to do so. Looks like only the weather understands me, raining when I wanted it to, and being sunny at the right time as well, but I am not cherishing it. PDC, EXCO, ACE, I can only choose 2, but not all three. It's hard to be a perfectionist, but I wanted to do it, and everytime I am busy, I tell myself, that there would be a break after that. However, this time there isn't any break, as we'll have to prepare for National Day after NBC. There is this spirit that is lost as I somehow became a retard that is working hard for nothing. I can forgo all of it, since I wouldn't lose anything, but I would feel regretful, and it's really a pressurizing feeling. However, if this continues, the result has no difference.

Wasted!

2008-06-16T20:28:00.000+08:00

Today was wasted, or maybe I should have just called my parents. I woke up with a sore throat, although I wasn't really sure weather it was really one, but it was very dry and hurt anyway. I was looking for some mint, but I finished my Clorets 2 days ago, so I had to brush my teeth and got some Colgate mixed with water and saliva into my throat to feel better. I couldn't tell if last night's disrupted sleep worsened the condition, but I got headaches after I went to school, not even having a chance to think "Shit!". Well, the IVP meeting was rather short and I went to lunch at about eleven. Good thing about holidays is that I can eat more during lunch and spend less cash. But somehow even after parting with my friends before lunch to have a cheaper and lighter meal at the canteen instead of SIM, it still made some of the remaining red blood cells left in the channel from my heart to my brain join the channel from my heart to my stomach and small intestine. I was feeling feverish, even though my brain was functioning well but with the accuracy decreasing a bit, and had to go home instead of going to the Overweight Training. There wasn't any water at home so I couldn't sleep immediately, because I would need a lot of water after waking up, so I boiled some and played RA2 for the meantime. How smart of me! It only took 10 minutes to boil the water and 40 min to complete the 6th campaign with difficulty set to hardest. I was feeling dizzy after that, but couldn't sleep and lay on the bed for 1.5 hrs. Then woke up, unwilling to sleep and watch my anime! After not watching for a few days, I get poor attitude when it comes to work, because the virtual world is what keeps us lively. Then my father came back, and gave me some pills. My headache was gone after 2 hours, and now I am just waiting for my sore throat and hurting ear to heal. The day was really wasted because if I took the medicine earlier, there wouldn't have been so much time wasted.

Camp

2008-06-07T00:38:00.000+08:00

Well, it's already 2 days after Band Camp, but reflections are of better quality if done now. I don't know the real reason but most probably it's because of the strong impression of the last day of the camp that is left in a person's mind. OK, first thing is that I want to announce that I feel that Jia Sheng is a Gideon that does not scratch. Basically you should see that Gideon is still NCC-and-Judo-minded when it comes to rules, whereas Jia Sheng is a non-scratching-Gideon who is born that way. Although totalitarianism ensures a definite amount of results, democracy can have 2 times the efficiency, despite the fact that it may turn out to be nothing as well. Therefore, we can say that it depends on the leadership qualities of a leaders. We all know that leaders are born and not made, or rather a made leader is never as good as a born one. Those who are given a chance is called "made" whereas most of the time, the born leader is the one which is hidden. People say leaders have power, but I say they are the weaklings. No leader can deny what I've said, as they can't say that they are born or have leadership qualities. It is the followers who have the right to judge them. So back to the totalitarianism and democracy part, a born leader will ensure democracy to be 100% double and 0% nothing. Just like Sheer Cold with 6 X Accuracies. Everyone who has a talent in something would have an easy time when it comes to that and has 100% success and 0% failure. However, a made leader=no talent. Which means things come from experience and since 失败是成功之母, they must fail once, and this failure means everybody GG, and say "さよなら" to your leadership position. Those who succeeded are merely lucky, as Sheer Cold always have a 30% chance of hitting, but it means they would die next turn. Anyway, there isn't anyone that can fit the BM and DM position in the band, or rather those people who have potential (potential is hidden), are not those who are leading. Leadership, it's not just about the distribution of work and the fairness of law and order, the whole thing is much more complicated, and leaders who don't realize this are what lead to the slow progress of the society.

Second thing, the camp was planned poorly, very poorly. Too much food, no drinks, too much time, which got taken over by band prac, and talentime, which is just something to aid the lack of programmes. I say JiaSheng you say noob, JiaSheng! Noob! JiaSheng! Noob! JiaSheng JiaSheng! Noob of the Noobs!

Wrong timing again!

2008-05-05T22:21:00.000+08:00

You teachers hit the wrong timing again. We were rather free last week, and I find myself being so busy now. So why am I blogging? I blog when I feel too ecstatic, depressed or pressurized. Shiehls tells us to do the Chinese file now, and with Grace Chua's feature story undone, I feel so tired of all this crap, that do not count in my results or benefit me in anyway, but yet it's not me if I don't complete them. If you ask me the root of the problem, I would say that most of the work come from Shiehls, who marks them blindly, giving SG a tick for writing crap. So why am I doing all these homework? We all know there's something wrong, but we don't know what to do. We can't challenge authority, and yet we can't be smart. We were taught not to take back what we say, and yet Shiehls does! So anyway, we are still trapped in the loop, which is so not IP like, but Animal Farm under Napoleon's rule.

Luck

2008-05-02T19:44:00.000+08:00

I was never prepared for any history test last year, other than EOYs, scraping A1s throughout the whole year. This is the first time I really studied for a retarded class test, and guess what, when you are prepared, prepare to be careless, that's what happens to me when I study for an IH test. It's like whenever I study, either the other half of the syllabus is tested or I screw up somewhere, wouldn't cause me to fail, but getting C6 is total shit compared to others. It's like the IH tests don't go my way. The Math and Science papers can't be screwed up because of the unlikeliness of misinterpreting a question, but it just happens. It's like having a 95% accuracy, but this other 5% just hits the most important part. It's like almost impossible, looking at the 95% accuracy, and that question among the other questions. However, with just that 0.01% chance, it's possible. Therefore, there are so many skydivers with 2 spoilt parachutes. So it's just the luck you see, and in life, it's like no matter how unlikely a good thing would happen, there is this weird high chance of it hitting right on the dot, just see the chances of winning ToTo, and yet there are winners. So who to blame? I say forget it, it's only 2% of final year and I shall revise for Geog, which I don't know whether I can make a comeback for, but it's likely because it's unlikely.

A never-ending loop that drives you insane...

Thoughts

Randomness

快乐

Previous Goals

人生

多虑

More inspiration

Loneliness

人生

期望

試験

Promos

Gossip

Blank

Sexism

Blog

第一幕

More reflections

Reflections

Filler

Hunger for success

福星高照

New Jap dictionary on Phone

但愿不会发生

还在序幕

Google's being random

用中文试试

Blogging too much

Something wrong

Bored

今週のこと

I think I just did something stupid again...

このポストは期待されたかな？

End of my extravertism

Stupid mistakes

Review

Another flaming post

My record of today's laughter

Stupid Mistake

"Not entitled to foreigners"

Joke

Wonder when I'll actually persuade myself to start mugging

Bad toilet experience

Joke

来年のこと

Forgetfulness kills

Found time

假期

Sec 4 and onwards

Reviving this place

Tired of life

Reincarnation

从北京而归

Shanghai Trip

It's finally the holidays

No mood to study

I think I am rather screwed

No more exemptions for u guys

So What?

Definition please

n00b people who fail

止んだ

This time it's not me

New popularity

More posts

Loss of domination

A Break

Comments about H2O

Aganist tests?

Just really really tired

Former Swang (Swine) Flu

Failing

Before you flame my tagboard

101 and counting

Memories

New Habit

Uniqueness with Scopophobia

Careful till I am careless

Venting my anger again